Kevin Leman - Under the Sheets: The Secrets to Hot Sex in Your Marriage

2009 by Dr. Kevin Leman

Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com

Previously published in 2009 under the title Turn Up the Heat

Ebook edition created 2011

Ebook corrections 02.18.2013, 02.26.2016

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-4412-3721-7

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, D.C.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture marked TLB is taken from The Living Bible, copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

To protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories with the author, some details and names have been changed.

The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.

To John Young and his lovely wife, Marlene.

Thank you for your friendship
and encouragement over the years.
You have only one assignment:
to take loving care of each other
for the rest of your lives.

Contents

Have a great sex lifeby Saturday night! (Or Thursday night, if youre really frisky.)

Some honeymoon symphonies are like the Boston Philharmonic. Others are like Twinkle, twinkle, little star, where the heck are ya?

Youre back from your honeymoon.... Now what about the next 48 years?

What makes you a couple: vive la diffrence!

Why more than two of you walked down that flower-strewn aisle to say, I do.

How often should you do itand do you have to do it?

What your spouse really cares about... and what you shouldnt.

The truth about women and orgasms.

They think about food and ESPN too.

Sometimes its just what youor your spouseneeds.

Scintillating appetizers and delicious desserts for your marital palate.

How to keep Mr. Happy happy, keep the ankle-biter battalion in check, and let Velcro Woman still get a good nights sleep.

Why good communicators have a better sex life.

What those excuses really mean... and what to do about them.

Breaking out of the predictability rut.

Why not cut yourself some slack?

Tackling the biggest sex killercriticism.

What to do when your spouse is giving you that Bullwinkle the Moose look... and youre already in hyperdrive.

How to turn up the heat without getting burned.

What happened to you in the past has everything to do with how much you enjoy sex.

You cant change your past relationships. But you can choose to move on.

How to know if your spouse is a sex addictor just has a high sex drive.

How to handle life when it isnt quite what you expected.

How to rebuild whats good after the carnage.

How to combat the sexual effects of job loss, depression, and aging.

Theres many a tune in an old viola, and its some of the best music around.

The best is yet to be. So go aheadturn up the heat!

T o my Revell editor, Lonnie Hull DuPont: You are an amazing woman. Simply stated, your creative talents are greatly appreciated.

And to the other woman in my life (my other editor), Ramona Cramer Tucker, who understands my heart... and my humormany thanks.

Have a great sex lifeby Saturday night! (Or Thursday night, if youre really frisky.)

W hen Adam saw Eve for the first time, what do you think he said? Holy moley, will you look at that!

To Adam, beautiful Eve was a wonderthe one creature in Eden perfectly suited to be his mate. What did Adam do next? What comes naturally to us men: He stared. He appreciated. Then he couldnt help but touch this gift from almighty God. And what happened next was very, very good.

SexGods awesome inventiongot a great start in that beautiful Garden of Eden. But whatever happened to the garden where a man and a womantrue partners, together for a lifetimewere naked and not ashamed?

You know what happened. Just one little bite of the forbidden fruit, and all of a sudden what almighty God created got labeled dirty. Adam and Eve quickly realized they were in the buff, so they slunk off into the bushes to hide themselves until they were clothed. Their perfect world of paradise was ruined. Their loving heart connection with almighty God was severed. And their innocent, peaceful relationship, as well as their sexually satisfying exploration of each other, was interrupted. All at once they knew their differencesand found them downright shameful and embarrassing.

But when it gets right down to brass tacks, what do we all dream of? Getting back to those days in the garden, where Gods perfect invention of sex surrounded both the man and the woman in a mutually satisfying, forever relationship. What does every godly man want? A godly woman who loves sex. What does every godly woman want? A godly man who provides the intimacy that her soul longs for. You see, men need only a place, but women need a reason. As a husband and wife understand and learn to appreciate those crucial differences, they can turn up the heat in their relationship and have great sexall the time.

Sex inside the bounds of holy matrimony was Gods idea, but today folks are just a little afraid to ask questions about it, for fear of embarrassing themselves. (Its kind of like Adam and Eve hiding naked in the bushes.)

So Ive made it easy for you.

Packed into this book are the hottest questions about sex and intimacyquestions I get asked every day as I travel, speak, and counsel married couples and soon-to-be-wed couplesand my straightforward answers. (To protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories with me, some details and names have been changed.)

Have you ever wondered how often you should do itand if you have to do it? Why she likes the lights off, and you want them on? What to do when youre too pooped to whoop and hes giving you a look like Bullwinkle the Moose? If depression or aging can affect sex drive? If hes a sex addict? If you are, because youve just got to have it? Whats okayand whats notin bed? If theres sex after children? How you compare to his exes? Why hes so boring in bed? If youll still be able to... you know... when youre eligible for the seniors discount at McDonalds?

And thats just for starters.

If you want to have a great sex life by Saturday night, just read on. Under the Sheets will take you and your spouse to new, scintillating heights of mutually enjoyable satisfaction. I bet youll even save money on your heating bills.

You can thank me later.

Shootin for the Moon

Some honeymoon symphonies are like the Boston Philharmonic. Others are like Twinkle, twinkle, little star, where the heck are ya?

Y ou might be about to embark on the long-awaited event of your honeymoon. Or maybe you have already taken the long walk down that flower-strewn aisle, are now nestled together in your romantic getaway, and have brought this book along to read together. Either way, good for you. If youre already thinking about what you can do to make your marriage the best it can be, youre starting your marriage out right!