Kevin Leman - A Chickens Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids about Sex

ZONDERVAN

A Chickens Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids about Sex

Copyright 2004 by Dr. Kevin Leman and Kathy Flores Bell

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ePub Edition August 2009 ISBN: 978-0-310-86587-2

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This Edition: 978-0-310-28350-8

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Leman, Kevin.

A chickens guide to talking turkey with your kids about sex. / Kevin Leman and Kathy Flores Bell. 1st ed.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-310-25096-8 (hardcover)

1. Sex instruction. 2. Puberty. 3. Sexual ethics. 4. Parenting.

I. Bell, Kathy Flores, 1958II. Title.

HQ57.L46 2004

649.65dc22 2003023109

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Interior design by Michelle Espinoza

This first book is dedicated to my four remarkable moms: my birth mother, Gloria Flores, who loves big as the sky and deep as the ocean; Diana Comaduran, CFNP, who will always be my second mom; Dr. Mary Adamshe is Jama and I am Newsweek; and, of course, beautiful Aunt BarbBarbara Tompkins.

Kathy Flores Bell

To Lauren Leman,

My little gift from God.

You pulled off one of the great upsets of all time when you were born to two very surprised parents who were both pushing fifty. But God, with his infinite wisdom, knew youd be our fifth child, and I cant imagine our family without you, our youngest born.

Lauren, Im so proud to be your daddy. You have wisdom far beyond your years; your love and your insight into human nature amazes me (like the time you said you were glad to be a girl because its easier to be good when youre a girl); your sweet spirit, gentle ways, and compassionate nature have helped your older sisters and brother not just to put up with you but to genuinely adore you. I know theyll always be there for you, even when Im dribbling drool on my walker in the old folks home!

If theres ever a day when I cant say it myself, I hope you can read it here and never forget: youll always be Daddys little muffin. There will never be another one like you, nor a father-daughter story quite like ours.

Kevin Leman

O ne phone call changed my life. Kay Lindley wanted to do a radio show about menstruation and knew that my mother had used a Ziploc bag and other kitchen items to teach me about the birds and the bees. Now it was my turn to pass on to radio listeners what my mom and dad had taught me. That alone was remarkable, since they were irresponsible teen parents who raised four kids and had little education and no money. Thus, Kevin Leman and I met on the radio over ten years ago.

I want to thank Kay Lindley for listening to the Holy Spirit and insisting that puberty issues are crucial for parents to discuss. Thanks to my parents, who are incredible people, for grooming me into an innovative teacher by their example and support, and to Diana Comaduran, RNP, who created an internship for me at the local clinic, where I worked with numerous teen moms while I was still in high school myself. Thanks to Luz Elena Shearer, who insisted that I attend a natural family planning conference to become a better sexuality educator, and to my husband, Mike, my devoted spouse and Sacrament, who funded my efforts and fueled the opportunity to develop my style and specific techniques that are in this first book. Touch to my first fifth-grade class of boysmy son in attendanceat St. Cyrils Catholic School, who had to endure my on-the-job training, and to Sr. St. Joan and Sr. Mary Kevin Ford at Carondelet Health Network for allowing me to fly as a volunteer at St. Josephs Hospital. To my gem of a secretary, Donna Pexa, I am grateful for your love through it all, for keeping an eye on me and my ever-stressed pulse.

Thanks to Jan Howard and Connie Teeple, who encouraged me, nudged me, and slapped me upside the head to focus; to Dr. Mary Adam, who bravely volunteered her services to help me pull off mother-daughter programs and even more bravely nailed me on medical accuracy; to Laurel Krinke, public school teacher, who beautifully augmented my work with learning activities; and to beautiful Aunt Barb, Barb TompkinsGod love herwho introduced me to the world of character education. What would I have done without you, Barb?

A special hug and thanks goes out to my in-laws, Jack and Dolores Bell, who just happened to be in town when Kevin asked me to get chapters readythey cooked and cleaned and taxied kids without a second thought; and to my childrenJohn Boy, Amy Rebecca, Elizabeth Lizzie-Bear, Alicia Peanut Butter, and Nettie, our adopted daughterwho rolled with the punches as I raced through deadlines and numerous drives to Kevins house, Kinkos, or the post office to get drafts in on time. And I would be remiss if I neglected the hospital staff at University Medical Centerthose wonderful hematology-oncology nurses who allowed me to set up an office while Lizzie transfused, so I wouldnt miss a beat on the home front and with this book.

I cannot neglect our editor, John Sloan, one detailed kind of guy, without whose talent and time this book would have never come to life. Last, but not least, my thanks to Gary Thomas and Dave Greene, whose brilliant minds, sacred hands, and holy wisdom pastorally married my comprehensive, character-based human sexuality education with Kevins marriage and family material. For the zillions of hours they spent talking on the phone, listening to tapes, reading articles, and compiling research, I am forever indebted and grateful.

And to the Holy Spirit, lest I forget, this is not my project but yours.

Kathy Flores Bell

I t marked the beginning of yet another childrearing era in the Leman household when my daughter asked me, Dad, can I have a party?

What kind of party? I asked.

Oh, she said nonchalantly, a Christmas party.

Sounds good to me, I said. Who are you going to invite?

Allison, Kristen, Katey Jo, Lindsey, Corey, Crystal, Amy

I knew all these names, so I only half listened, but suddenly I caught on to a very pregnant pause. Hannah looked at me uncertainly, then added a little more quickly, and maybe Chris, Michael, Kyle, Ben, Mark, and Josh.