David Borgenicht - The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Paranormal

By

Illustrations by

When a life is imperiled or a dire situation is at hand, safe alternatives may not exist. To deal with the worst-case scenarios presented in this book, we highly recommendinsist, actuallythat the best course of action is to consult a professionally trained expert. But because highly trained professionals may not always be available when the safety or sanity of individuals is at risk, we have asked experts on various subjects to describe the techniques they might employ in these emergency situations. THE PUBLISHER, AUTHORS, AND EXPERTS DISCLAIM ANY LIABILITY from any injury that may result from the use, proper or improper, of the information contained in this book. All the answers in this book come from experts in the situation at hand, but we do not guarantee that the information contained herein is complete, safe, or accurate, nor should it be considered a substitute for your good judgment or common sense. Nothing in this book should be construed or interpreted to infringe on the rights of other persons or to violate criminal statutes; we urge you to obey all laws and respect all rights, including property rights, of others.

The Authors

Behind every man now alive stands
30 ghosts, for that is the ratio by which
the dead outnumber the living.

Arthur C. Clarke

I have never met a vampire
personally, but I dont know what
might happen tomorrow.

Bela Lugosi

As perilous and unpredictable as the normal, physical world can be, when it comes to survival, theres always one thing you can count on: There are rules. The physical world has natural laws that keep it all in checkand that ultimately keep us all alive and well.

Sometimes these are written rules. Dont feed the bears. In case of fire, use stairs. Others are unwritten: What goes up, must come down. Dont eat something that smells funny. Either way, we all become familiar with such survival basics through good parenting, education, and a bit of trial and error. These rules, along with a calm head and some common sense, help us all make it through everyday life.

But when it comes to the paranormal world, things become a bit more challenging. The undead dont operate on the same set of rules as we dothey are much ruder, for one thing. (When was the last time a zombie or vampire knocked?) The laws of science as we understand them today dont always apply in this realm, either. And its just plain hard to predict how aliens will really behave when they do show up in the skies above Washington, D.C.

But its safe to say that Stephen Hawking is probably right: When they come, they probably arent just coming to say hello; theyll be wanting something from us. So youll need to be preparedready to handle things youve never encountered before. Things you dont know the rules about.

Thats where this book comes in. The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Paranormal is the first attempt at publishing an accurate and official collection of the rules for surviving in the realm of the mysterious, the supernatural, the unknown. From performing an exorcism to correctly negotiating with Satan; from fending off a vampire to (safely) breaking up with one; and from breaking a curse to dealing with time paradoxes (the worst!); this manual will provide you with as much information as humanly possible to deal with inhuman perils.

It is our sincere hope that this manual will help you deal with the dangers of the paranormal with the same kind of confidence you have about the dangers of the normal world. So be prepared. Dont panic. Have a plan.

And if you forget your garlic and you dont have a cross or holy water on you, take a look aroundtheres probably a pizzeria nearby that can help.

The Authors