Margaret McCraw - The Relationship Code: Engage and Empower People with Purpose and Passion

PEOPLE WITH PURPOSE AND PASSION ENGAGE AND EMPOWER

MARGARET McCRAW PhD, MBA

Copyright 2010 by Margaret McCraw

All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International Copyright Conventions. This book may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher, The Career Press.

THE RELATIONSHIP CODE

EDITED AND TYPESET BY KARA KUMPEL

Cover design by Howard Grossman/12E Designs

Printed in the U.S.A. by Courier

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

McCraw, Margaret.

The relationship code: engage and empower people with purpose and passion / by Margaret McCraw.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-1-60163-135-0 -- ISBN 978-1-60163-708-6 (ebook) 1. Interpersonal relations--Psychological aspects. 2. Interpersonal communication. I. Title.

HM1106.M39 2010

158.2--dc22

2010025468

This book is dedicated to my birth family. Thank you for walking the path of life with me, and for your abundance of love, white light, and many lessons learned.

My mother, Ethel Sumner McCraw, helped me to see that my peace of mind and sense of well-being do not depend on anything outside of me. She consistently modeled emotional strength, will, perseverance, and determination.

My father, Arthur McCraw, gave me the opportunity to learn the deeper lessons of forgiveness and compassion. I am more whole because of what I learned from my relationship with him.

My sister, Shirley McCraw-Garlan, showed me that true love transcends time and space. Thank you for uplifting me on many occasions and for always being there for me.

My brother, Ken McCraw, led me to realize the strength of my spirit. Hes always been someone I could count on.

My sister, Mary McCraw-Borst, is my friend and partner as we have learned to release and transcend deep emotional pain. Thank you for being there for me.

My brother, David McCraw, helped me to know that I am a good friend. Since childhood, he has inspired me to greater heights.

I am appreciative of the many individuals who helped me to bring this book forth. First, my agent, JoAnn Deck, who believed in my work and who made a strong commitment to help me bring this material into the publics view. In addition, her review and input to the book itself was invaluable. There were many late nights, but we did it!

I also want to extend warm appreciation to Michael Aschenbach, the whistling swan, who provided the consistent support and skill set to bring my work to light. You are a dear soul.

Thank you, Karen Greathouse, for your support during the proposal stage of this book. Your input and assistance is much appreciated.

I want to extend heartfelt appreciation to Barbara Ardinger, PhD, the best editor anyone could ever ask for. I especially appreciate you working into the night and on weekends to ensure that I met my deadline with the publisher.

My appreciation is also extended to Sue Gaines, the graphic artist who worked on short notice to bring my diagrams to life, and to Joanne Sprott, who was also willing to work quickly to assist me in finalizing the book. I am deeply grateful to Julia Mastin and Jasmine Mastin who worked long hours to proofread the final manuscript. Thank you for all you did to make the final product even better.

Many dear friends and family members offered love and support along the way; you know who you arethank you! J.R. Oyler stands out in the crowd for his consistent support, encouragement, and help in getting the manuscript to the publisher on time. Tom Kapp provided ongoing love, encouragement, and appreciation for my work.

I extend gratitude to the staff of Career Press for their commitment to offering books that are uplifting to individuals. Thank you all for believing in my work and for your efforts in bringing this book to fruition.

I am deeply grateful to Esther and Jerry Hicks and the family of Abraham. Your teachings on vibrational alignment and being a deliberate creator have been life-changing. Thank you for raising the consciousness of myself and others. You are a great gift to the Universe.

I also give thanks to the great teachers who have strongly influenced me: Dr. Carl Gustav Jung, Saint Barnabus, and the light of Saint Paul. Thank you for the timeless teachings and guidance you brought to the world.

Finally, I acknowledge those loved ones who reside in my heart and my mind forever: Sr. Suzanne Marie Folie; Dr. Art Wagner; my mother, Ethel Sumner McCraw; my grandmother, Mary Ann Gennettie Ellen Sumner; and Nathaniel, Phillip, Precious, Benny, Star, Shadow, and many other family members and friends. Thank you for supporting me and inspiring me to greater heights.

I love all of you so much.

by Brian Billick

Chapter 1: What Is the Harmonic
Matching Process?

Case examples presented in this book are composites of different situations to protect individuals identities. Similarities between these anecdotes and the experiences of actual persons are unintended.

Life coaches specializing in the four-step Harmonic Matching Process are referenced in a few chapters in this book; an accredited fast-track life coach training program has been established to certify individuals as a Master Life Coach and Holistic Health Practitioner. See the back of this book for training and certification information.

The phrase highest good is used throughout this book. It is not intended to convey a religious connotation. You, the reader, are welcome to substitute the term best interest if you are more comfortable with that.

The Relationship Code is for individuals and organizational leaders who have a vision they intend to achieve. Leadership requires building strong, resilient teams with people who are knowledgeable and mutually supportive. It is about creating relationships, which means understanding the psychology of what holds people together and what tears them apart. Basic tenets, such as being open-minded, getting out of your own way, aligning with the highest good of all, and blending heart wisdom with sound logic are just a few of the building blocks necessary to create a bond with others. You must have integrity at the highest levels. Above all, you must believe in yourself, for this is the foundation on which all relationships are built. Without self-belief, there can be no trust, no respect, and no true bond with another person. When you are clear in your values and have the courage to stand up for your beliefs, you have something meaningful to give to another person. You can truly create with others. You can be a team.

I have spent much of my life building winning teams, and guided the Baltimore Ravens to become Super Bowl champions. Team-building is about creating strong and synergistic relationships with individuals who respect and trust their leader as well as each other. Relationships require emotional strength, self-examination, self-reflection, and a willingness to make changes. These are all necessary components of a true connection. Harmonizing desires with others requires letting go of me in favor of we, yet always being true to yourself. Forming a bond means taking a risk, because at some point and in some way life brings circumstances that will change what you have created, which requires you to trust and let go and experience what feels like loss. Fear of loss is the reason people resist change. This is why we hold ourselves back, and it is also why organizations are prevented from achieving their vision. Leaders need to deal with loss in order to break new ground and transform the organization.