Dr. Mike Bechtle - One-Minute Tips for Confident Communication

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Other Books by Mike Bechtle

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Copyright Page

Dedication

Introduction

Uniqueness: The Key Resource for Confidence

1. You can learn to communicate more effectively.

2. Embrace your personality as your superpower.

3. Your uniqueness is your most valuable asset.

4. Confidence happens one step at a time.

5. Learn to value the differences of others.

The Power of Empathy

6. Learn to accept others exactly the way they are.

7. Look at others through their filters.

8. Dont let filters become barriers.

9. Dont worry about whos right or wrong; go for understanding.

10. Avoid tips and tricks that dont fit your temperament.

11. Find conversational skills that work for introverts (if thats you).

12. Find conversational skills that work for extroverts (if thats you).

13. Change your self-talk.

14. Take responsibility for yourselfonly.

15. Youre only responsible for what you bring to a conversation, not the outcome.

16. You dont have to know everything about everything.

17. You cant rush growth.

18. Learn the three approaches to a conversation.

Common Ground: The Key Ingredient for Confidence

19. Finding common ground makes it easy to start a conversation.

20. Exploring differences keeps a conversation moving forward.

21. Find common ground in shared experiences.

22. Recognize the benefits of common ground.

23. Prepare for any conversation.

24. Dont let assumptions stop a conversation before it starts.

25. Dont assume your first impressions are true.

26. Make the first move.

27. Assume that others think youre interesting.

28. Be willing to break the ice for others.

29. Initiate conversations, and you get to pick who you spend time with.

30. Its easier to join a conversation with a group whos already talking than to start one with an individual.

31. Share your name when connecting with someone youve met before; it takes the pressure off if theyve forgotten.

32. When joining a group conversation, dont do this.

33. When joining a group conversation, do this.

34. Use small talk to get to big talk.

35. When joining a group conversation, ask, Am I intruding?

36. Use a few conversational openers to start a conversation.

37. Be in the moment in each conversation.

38. Keep the conversation going.

39. Smile and make eye contact.

40. Peoples names are important to them.

41. Become your own host at every gathering.

42. Focus on the other person to keep a conversation going.

43. Stay informed.

44. Stay focused.

45. Stay observant.

46. Give sincere compliments.

47. Practice deep, intentional listening.

48. Avoid conversational potholes.

49. Make someones day brighter.

50. Serve the other person.

Ending a Conversation

51. Choose the best time to finish a conversation.

52. Decide how to escape.

53. Strong endings come from having a clear purpose.

54. Practice verbal martial arts to steer an uncomfortable conversation.

56. Take advantage of group dynamics to leave a conversation.

57. Dont make the first conversation a one-time event; build on it for the future.

58. Cultivate second conversations.

59. Be intentional about follow-up to continue a connection.

60. Make a quick, appropriate follow-up to every new conversation.

61. Make notes after an important conversation.

62. Organize the information you learn during conversations.

The Power of Listening

63. Give the gift of listening deeply.

64. Check your listening skills.

65. Learn how to tell if others are listening.

66. Learn to give accurate nonverbal and verbal signals.

67. If you dont quite get what someone is saying, ask for clarification.

68. When you catch yourself not listening, admit it and reset.

69. Harness the energy of conversational stress.

70. Change how you think about stress.

71. Challenge your negative expectations about how a conversation will go.

72. Make the most of your stress.

Curiosity: Your Never-Ending Vault of Topics

73. Commit to curiosity.

74. Practice the curiosity of a child.

75. Learn to see things from a different perspective.

76. Make curiosity a daily practice.

77. Learn to ask good questions.

78. Include open-ended questions in your conversations.

79. Learn to use questions effectively.

80. Refine your questions to keep the conversation on track.

81. Learn how to answer questions well.

Tough Conversations

82. Rather than debating when you disagree with someones position, explore for understanding.

84. When someone becomes angry or critical, recognize that theres something deeper happening than whats on the surface.

85. When someone complains constantly or pressures you to do something, respond simply.

86. When someone talks too much or constantly interrupts, learn to respond directly without coming down on them.

87. When your best efforts dont work in a tough conversation, its OK to walk away. Just make it your last resort, not your first.

Attitude

88. Recognize the importance of attitude in making conversation with others.

89. Develop an attitude of caring for others.

90. Remember that you cant control someone else; you can only control yourselfyour attitude and choices.

91. To change your attitude, change your thoughtswhich will eventually change your actions.

92. Nurture an attitude of gratefulness and contentment.

93. Use technology as a tool to enhance conversations, not to replace them.

94. Know the advantages and disadvantages of digital communication.

95. Treat digital conversations with the same care as in-person conversations.

Fine-Tuning Your Skills

96. Avoid conversation killers.

97. Practice the things that nurture connection.

98. Youre only responsible for your side of the conversation, not how the other person responds.