Holly Michelle Eckert - Graduating From Guilt: Six Steps to Overcome Guilt and Reclaim Your Life

Graduating From Guilt

Six Steps to Overcome Guilt and Reclaim Your Life

2019 PuddleDancer Press

A PuddleDancer Press Book

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Author: Holly Michelle Eckert

Editor: Kyra Freestar

Indexer: Phyllis Linn

Cover and Interior Design: Shannon Bodie, Lightbourne.com

Cover source photo: www.istock.com

Manufactured in the United States of America,
1st Printing, March 2010, 2nd Printing, April 2019

23 22 21 20 19 2 3 4 5

ISBN: 978-1-892005-23-6

With clear, engaging writing, this short but compelling book lives up to its title, offering six steps to graduate from feelings of guilt and regret. The ideas are general enough to be useful in any situation, with interesting, specific examples and stories to help bring it all home. I highly recommend this profoundly important book and plan to use it often in my counseling practice.

JAN HUNT, M.Sc., parenting counselor and author of The Natural Child: Parenting From the Heart

Many people think of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as solely a communication tool when it is actually a vehicle for deep inner transformation. If your relationship with yourself isnt loving and connected, or if you are at war with yourself, then all of your relationships will suffer. Holly Eckert understands this, and her book is a wonderful and systematic teaching on how NVC can be used to transform inner consciousness. I will definitely be recommending this book to my therapy clients and students and know they will benefit from its wisdom and practical examples.

MARK J. GOODMAN, MA, mindfulness-based psychotherapist, faculty member at the Leadership Institute of Seattle (LIOS) Graduate College of Saybrook University, training future psychotherapist, business coaches and consultants

Reading about guilt may not sound like a fascinating and hopeful subject, but Holly makes it so. In this straightforward and yet profound volume, you will be surprised with both the simplicity and profundity of her methodology. Highly recommended for those who want to learn to live more lightly and hopefully in all relationships.

JUDITH HANSON LASATER, PhD, PT, yoga teacher since 1971 and coauthor (with Ike K. Lasater) of What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication

Graduating From Guilt offers a clear pathway for letting go of any old programming around guilt. If there is anything in your world where you are feeling stuck, I invite you to allow this process to contribute to your wholeness and well-being now.

SANDY FOX, founder, Seattle Center For Peace

Graduating From Guilt offers a simple six-step process for overcoming guilt gently, easily, and effectively. Eckerts approach is clear and direct, insightful and creative, warm as a summer breeze, and yet powerful enough to move mountains of painful emotion. If youre looking for a book to help free your heart, Graduating From Guilt is a great choice!

CAT SAUNDERS, PhD, author of Dr. Cats Helping Handbook: A Compassionate Guide for Being Human

Graduating From Guilt is a wise, unique, and beautifully written guidebook for those who want to release the quagmire their guilt leaves them in. Hollys Six Steps to Overcome Guilt are simple, practical, and yet profoundly life changing.

MARY MACKENZIE, international peacemaker, author of Peaceful Living, and cofounder of the NVC Academy

I find this book marvelously clear and accessible, and recommend it widely. I appreciate the diversity of situations represented, and imagine readers feeling immediately encouraged and confident in walking their own situation through the clearly delineated process. This is a great contribution, Holly, and I thank you for the care you have taken to offer your teaching and experience in a form that will benefit so many of us.

LUCY LEU, cofounder, Freedom Project and Freedom Project Canada, and coauthor, Nonviolent Communication Toolkit for Facilitators

What I love about this book is that its so practical! NVC is a lot easier to understand than it is to do, but Holly offers a crystal clear, step-by-step process that really is easy to follow. The stories are rich and alive and open up a whole range of ideas of how and when to use her Graduating From Guilt process.

MIRIAM DYAK, cofounder, The Voice Dialogue Institute

T his book is a result of the synergy of an entire community. In particular, I would like to thank:

Marshall Rosenberg, founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), for showing me the door to a new world,

Dana Gaskin Wenig, who first introduced me to NVC,

Seattle trainers Doug Dolstad, Liv Monroe, and Barbara Larson, for their support on my NVC journey from the beginning to the present,

My mother, for thirty-nine years of unwavering and wholehearted dedication to my educational and creative pursuits,

My father, who told me that I was smart enough to be successful at anything I set out to do,

My husband, who has supported my NVC journey financially, emotionally, and logistically, every step of the way,

My children, who inspired my passion to learn NVC and give me unintentional yet consistent feedback on how Im doing in my learning process,

My extended family, for the countless hours of babysitting and enthusiastic cheerleading of my projects,

All my class participants over the years, whose feedback inspired me to continue developing my materials,

My editor, Kyra Freestar, for her impeccable standards and gentle introduction to the editing process,

The Center for Nonviolent Communication, for creating an infrastructure through which NVC is shared around the globe,

PuddleDancer Press, for sharing my enthusiasm for this book and distributing the NVC materials throughout the world, and

My writing coach, Waverly Fitzgerald, who showed me the path from concept to reality.

H ow can we free ourselves from the guilt that drains our creativity, joy, and aliveness? Is there a way to be accountable for our actions without beating ourselves up? Is it possible that guilt has a positive purpose in our lives? What might that be?

You likely find your response to your own guilt unpleasant. When feeling guilty, you might continually replay situations in your mind without any resolution. You might avoid the other people involved.

You might pretend that nothing happened. You might attempt an apology, but still be left with lingering feelings that youve done something wrong. You might carry this guilt for days, months, years, even decades. All these options leave you stuck, judging yourself, living in the past, and disconnected from your authenticity, relationships, and presence.