Melody Beattie - Codependent No More Workbook

Choices

Beyond Codependency

Codependent No More

Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact

Finding Your Way Home

Gratitude

The Grief Club

Journey to the Heart

The Language of Letting Go

The Language of Letting Go Journal

The Lessons of Love

More Language of Letting Go

Playing It by Heart

Stop Being Mean to Yourself

Hazelden

Center City, Minnesota 55012

hazelden.org

2011 by Melody Beattie

All rights reserved. Published 2011

Printed in the United States of America

No part of this publication may be reproduced without the express written permission of the publisher. Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages for copyright infringement.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Beattie, Melody.

Codependent no more workbook / Melody Beattie.

p. cm.

Companion volume to Melody Beatties Codependent no more: how to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-59285-470-7

Ebook ISBN 978-1-61649-188-8

1. CodependencyProblems, exercises, etc. 2. Substance abusePatients RehabilitationProblems, exercises, etc. I. Beattie, Melody. Codependent no more. II. Title.

RC569.5.C63B433 2011

616.869dc22

2010043011

Authors Note:

As an independent contractor and freelance writer, I relied on professional research, personal experience, conclusions, and opinions to form this workbook. Although Ive used expert opinions as resources, this book doesnt necessarily reflect any viewpoint or opinions except my own. Neither the book nor I am affiliated with, represent, or work for any organization or treatment program. Names and certain details have been changed to ensure privacy and anonymity, but all stories in here are true; none are fictionalized or composites. Even anonymous quotes came from real people.

Editors Note:

This publication is not intended as a substitute for the advice of health care professionals. Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, and the Big Book are registered trademarks of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

13 12 11 10 09 1 2 3 45 6

Cover design by Nick Caruso

Interior design and typesetting by Madeline Berglund

For the straightforward, delightful (anonymous) Mrs. Bee, who knew what this workbook needed to be and cared enough to tell me; and old-timers, newbies to codependency recovery, and everyone in between who wants to continually evolve because they know healing is experiential, is experimental, and more shall be revealed.

THANK YOU TO RENAISSANCE MALIBU AND SAL PETRUCCI

FOR THEIR GREAT QUOTES AND COOPERATION

AND TO SAGE KNIGHT,

WHOSE EDITING HELP LIKELY KEPT ME ALIVE.

This book will benefit those attending family group meetings for a loved one in addiction treatment, and will be most beneficial in centers based on the Twelve Step model. Also, people in treatment for codependency may find this book helpful.

Therapists and psychiatrists can use this book and its activities in one-on-one or group settings with clients manifesting behaviors falling into the two main codependency categories: an extreme and often uncontrollable external focus on others coupled with little or no self-awareness, and confusion about their genuine, essential powers and how to use them.

Although not conference approved, this workbook can be used by people who attend any Twelve Step group for codependents, by sponsors working with sponsees, and, with group conscience approval, as part of the Twelve Step meeting. This includes but isnt limited to Al-Anon, CoDA (Co-Dependents Anonymous), ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics), and Alateen.

The content and activities address Double Winnerspeople affected by codependency and chemical dependency. This workbook also targets people suffering from phobias; fear, panic, or eating disorders; and addictions to sex or gambling. Codependency usually affects people suffering from these problems too. It may be the first or second primary problem they address, but approaching other peoples recovery with the adage Live and let live, and not insisting that everyone plot a recovery map identical to theirs, will be helpful to all concerned.

Lifers attending codependency Twelve Step meetings can benefit from this book and the activities in it, as will people attending meetings as needed. Twelve Step meetings may not be part of some peoples recovery protocol, but they can still benefit from the information and activities here, and may discover this workbook helpful in their quest.

People engaged in legitimate caretakingcounselors, nurses, clergy, people caring for ill family memberswho attend non-Twelve Step support groups may find this workbook an asset in taking care of themselves.

While reading through the entire workbook may be valuable initially, please follow that by returning to Lesson One, and then completing each lesson and its activities in the order presented. Do the best work possible before moving forward.

The only requirement to benefiting from this book is willingness to openly and honestly do your own work. The books goal is to assist you in achieving self-love and trust, living your own life, and truly loving others in a way that enhances you and them.

Whether recovering from codependency two days or thirty years, regularly reviewing this workbook and completing the activities will continually reveal fresh insights about letting go, healthy detachment, self-care, and other recovery-related issues.

At the start of each lesson in this workbook, youll find a quote and a suggested reading from Melody Beatties classic book Codependent No More. These are your links back to pertinent ideas in that bookideas you can use as a reference and touchstone for working through these lessons.

Before you begin, you will need to purchase a notebook or journal, or create a document on your computer, to use for the activities in this workbook.

The Twelve Steps are a way of life.

Codependent No More

Suggested reading: The Twelve Steps in chapter 18, Work a Twelve Step Program

I n 2001, a friend and I traveled to China on our way to make a pilgrimage around Mount Kailash in Tibet. We changed our plans, deciding to climb four holy mountains in mainland China first. We knew we might not pass that way again.