Beccy Hands - The Little Book of Self-Care for New Mums

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Epub ISBN: 9781473556386

Version 1.0

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Vermilion, an imprint of Ebury Publishing,

20 Vauxhall Bridge Road,

London SW1V 2SA

Vermilion is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com

Copyright Beccy Hands and Alexis Stickland 2018
Illustrations Kay Barker 2018
from Nobody Told Me by Hollie McNish (Little, Brown) Hollie McNish
Cover illustrations by Kay Barker
Cover designed by Two Associates

Beccy Hands and Alexis Stickland have asserted their right to be identified as the authors of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

First published by Vermilion in 2018

www.eburypublishing.co.uk

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Commissioning Editor: Samantha Jackson
Project Editor: Laura Herring
Designer: Laura Liggins
Illustrator: Kay Barker

The information in this book has been compiled by way of general guidance in relation to the specific subjects addressed. It is not a substitute and not to be relied on for medical, healthcare, pharmaceutical or other professional advice on specific circumstances and in specific locations. Please consult your GP before changing, stopping or starting any medical treatment. So far as the authors are aware the information given is correct and up to date as at October 2018. Practice, laws and regulations all change, and the reader should obtain up to date professional advice on any such issues. The authors and publishers disclaim, as far as the law allows, any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use, or misuse, of the information contained in this book.

ISBN 9781785041822

He said

Megatrons the best one

if I was one, its him.

Optimus Primes all nice and stuff

but its Megatron who really wins.

Ive listened so many times to this

since last weeks sodding Transformers hit

and I smile until today I say

Megatron aint shit

last year my hip bones moved

another half an inch

back together.

He said

Hollie Megatron lives for ever.

I said

Megatrons not real!

If you wanna see a real live transformer

come and have a feel!

And I pushed his fingers closer

and then right inside my stomach

to feel the gap my muscles left

from something I now know a bit as

birth

And I knew that this would hurt

but I did not know the rest

That theres a hole inside my stomach

till the day Im laid to rest

And no, youre right I said

Its not the same

I did not turn into a car

I turned into a factory

A life support and cooker

As my body started morphing

My insides realigned

My digestive system shifted

And completely redesigned itself

No help from the Decepticons or the Autobots

What vitamins Id got

moved from my blood into hers now

The direction of my nutrients

redirected into her. How?

I dont know!

Everyone sees our stomachs grow

They do not see the rest

Ribcages cranking up

to make more space for babys legs

Diaphragm moves down

Your womb fills up with fluid

and a brown line on your skin appears

and no one even drew it!

A brown line on your skin!

From between your legs to boobs

The only line a child can see

to lead them to the food

Labour came and went

Something that I wont forget

Baby now in my arms

and my system shifted once again

Digestion redirected to

two breasts that grew one night

bigger than a large ripe pair of cantaloupes

Get me a pump! I screamed

Genuinely worried that they might explode

My boobs stay warm to heat the milk

and my nipple makes a hole

and every time the baby drinks

the suction

makes my:

Womb shrink back

My hips move back

My ribs and diaphragm move back

My hair grow back

My back stretch back

And after two more years of doing that

My system shifted back

Nutrients shot back into my own bodys blood again

And now Im almost back to how I was

before that seed took life

Complete transformation without one single robot fight

And no one makes an action film of this!

In fact all my body has to show for it

are the markings on my belly

My hips bones stayed a bit apart

and my breasts are slightly saggy

But the saddest thing of all

is that were told these marks are bad

but theyre the only few reminders

of this process we all have

as the real lifetime transformers

Im saying Megatron aint shit

Compared to female bodies

to prepare to grow and feed a kid

and the only thing our bodys given

for this Optimus of Primes

Is a pot of sodding stretch-mark cream

to try to hide the signs.

From sore breasts to tender bottoms, extreme tiredness to anxious insomnia, weve seen it all. Over our combined years working as a midwife and doula, we have sat beside hundreds of women as they journeyed into the world of motherhood. We have celebrated with families as they welcomed their little ones into the world, watched our ladies transform into mothers and marvelled over the tiny humans they created. But we have also wiped away plenty of tears, given out hugs and offered heaps of TLC. We have made endless cups of tea, lactation biscuits, hot buttered toast and iron-boosting smoothies for tired new mums who sometimes just, you know, need a break.

Over more than a decade spent with amazing mums just like you and from looking after our own typically unpredictable newborns we have collected many a trick up our sleeves to help ease those postnatal discomforts and new-mum worries. We have tucked mums up in bed when they needed to rest, shown them gentle stretches to soothe their aching muscles, and nagged them when they havent been eating properly.

While you were pregnant, you probably read at least one book on what to expect during those nine long months. And then there were the apps to track your trimesters, the regular midwife appointments, antenatal classes, scans, check-ups, pregnancy yoga classes and all your new fellow preggo friends to talk to about how you are feeling with maybe the odd cheeky massage or pedicure along the way to treat yourself when things got a bit much (well, you cant reach your toes, can you?!). While you were pregnant it was all about you and how best to look after yourself and stay healthy and relaxed to provide for your growing baby.