Daniel Fitzpatrick G. - When Your Parent Dies

When Your Parent Dies Daniel Fitzpatrick G. Illustrated by R. W. Alley Abbey Press All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher. Text copyright 2009 by Daniel Fitzpatrick G. Illustrations copyright 2009 by Saint Meinrad Archabbey ISBN: 978-1-4976-8034-0 Abbey Press Publications 1 Hill Drive St.

Meinrad, Indiana 47577 www.abbeypress.com Distributed by Open Road Distribution 345 Hudson Street New York, NY 10014 www.openroadmedia.com Foreword Adult children are expected to be mature enough to handle a parents death. No matter your age, however, you never stop being your parents child. And the child within you grieves their passing deeply. At the same time, there is much you can hold onto at this time of loss. A parents love is never lost if passed on, wrote one author. Pass on that love to othersand treat yourself to the same loving care your parent gave to you.

That love remains, and will endure forever. Acknowledgement The author wishes to acknowledge his debt to the wonderful ideas on this subject found in Abbey Press publications by Jim Auer, Carol Luebering, Peggy Heinzmann Ekerdt, Judy Ball, Linus Mundy, Lisa O. Engelhardt, Joel Schorn, Patrice Tuohy, Greg Long, and Steven Long. He dedicates this book to his dearly departed mother and to all who have grieved and grown from the loss of a parent.1. No matter how old you are, when a parent dies, a part of you feels orphaned. The world feels like a different place without your parentsmaller, colder, less friendly. 2. When you are an adult, the death of your parent doesnt get a lot of recognition or support.

Your loss may not be long remembered or widely acknowledged by others. You might feel pretty much alone in your grief. 3. Though you might feel alone, you arent alone. In fact, millions of adults grieve the loss of a parent every year. Many of them join support groups where they can talk to others who understand. 4. You may at times feel fear or even panic that catches you by surprise. 4. You may at times feel fear or even panic that catches you by surprise.

But remember, you have lost the person who tucked you into bed at night and held your hand when you were scared as a child. Its natural to feel frightened at times. 5. The death of a parent leaves us feeling abandoned, no matter how many loving people surround us. Parents arent supposed to leave us behind, but your parent left on a journey they must make without you. Their love remains, however, and can bring comfort. 6. Dont wall off your grief.

Find a way to cry and talk about your loss with someone who will understand. Find a trusted friend who will listen without judging, support without criticism, and simply be with you. 7. Be gentle with yourself and others as you grieve. Give yourself time and space. Others can carry a bit of your load for a while at home and at work. 8. You were not ready for this to happen.

Even if you saw it coming, there is a sense of shockafter all, your big, strong parent has fallen. Its okay to feel that way. 9. When your parent dies, you grieve many losses. You have lost a person whose love was absolute and unconditional, not like any other love on earth. Some have even compared it to Gods love. 10. Your parent was there for you as a child when you cried or hurt yourself. 10. Your parent was there for you as a child when you cried or hurt yourself.

They stood up for you and watched out for you. Its natural that their death will touch that part of all of us that longs for comfort and protection. 11. You may have lost a sense of your own identity. You have always been your parents child; its part of how you have defined yourself. Who are you now? 12. It may be true, as someone once said, that You never really grow up until your parent dies. 13. Youve lost someone who was a key to your sense of family connection. 13. Youve lost someone who was a key to your sense of family connection.

Your parent helped keep the family tree rooted. Where do you go to go home for the holidays? How can you connect with them now? 14. Your definition of family will have to undergo some changes. But that doesnt mean family members cant still be there for one another. It is now time for othersincluding youto step forward to lead the way. 15. Your best memories of time with your parent can be a source of healing, comfort, and hope. Gather with loved ones and share cherished memories.