Kenneth Ginsburg M.D. - Letting Go with Love and Confidence: Raising Responsible, Resilient, Self-Sufficient Teens in the 21st Century

Table of Contents

Kenneth Ginsburg, M . D . , M . S . Ed .
and
Susan FitzGerald

This book took shape with the help of many people. We want to begin by thanking the most important peoplethe scores of parents who were interviewed for this book. They generously gave of their time and shared their parenting experiences. We decided to change the names of parents so they would feel free to talk openly about their children and their lives. We learned so much from them, and their wisdom permeates these pages even when they are not directly quoted.

Our agent, Joanne Wyckoff, was our rock as this project evolved over several years. She encouraged us, challenged us, and pushed us. Her fine eye for editing and storytelling served us well as we expanded our idea into a book proposal. Joanne is positive, pleasant, and smartjust what we needed in an agent.

Lucia Watson, our editor at Avery, also brought confidence and a can-do attitude to this project. She believed in the concept for the book and gave us the needed time to make it work. Assistant editor Miriam Rich tended to so many details. Her organizational skills kept us on track. Lucia and Miriam were committed to producing a book that would both guide parents as they raised their adolescents and reassure them that taking care of themselves in the process was a selfless act. We also want to thank a number of other people at Avery who got behind this book: president and publisher William Shinker; editorial director Megan Newman; publicist Adenike Olanrewaju; marketing coordinator Jessica Chun; Lisa Johnson, vice president/associate publisher; and Linda Rosenberg, copyediting chief. We appreciate all you did.

I want to thank fate and good fortune for introducing me to Susan FitzGerald. In working with her I have found a true partner who shares a passion for the well-being of teens. Her wisdom and insight brought clarity to so many of our discussions, and this book never could have come to fruition without her unwavering commitment to produce a work that would really allow families to thrive through and beyond adolescence.

Much of this book is rooted in the philosophy of the youth development and resilience movements. I offer my deepest gratitude and respect to the leaders of these movements who have informed and inspired me. Rick Little and his team at The International Youth Foundation first clarified the importance of the essential ingredients needed for healthy youth developmentConfidence, Competence, Character, Connection, and Contribution. I have added Coping and Control to their core ideas to create the Seven Cs model offered in this book. I have been fortunate enough to know Dr. Richard Lerner of Tufts University, who was part of that original team and is undoubtedly one of the premier developmental psychologists of our era. Dr. Lerner has proven that efforts aimed at promoting positive development make a real difference in the lives of youth. In the field of adolescent health and medicine, Robert Blum, M.D., and Michael Resnick, Ph.D., have led the field in shifting from a risk-based to a strength-based approach to youth; Karen Hein, M.D., has made the clarion call that youth are a resource to be nurtured. Similarly, Karen Pittman of the Forum for Youth Investment has tirelessly taught us that our goal must be to build youth because problem free is not fully prepared. Peter Benson of the Search Institute has helped communities and parents understand that when we develop core assets in children they are positioned to thrive. The Communities That Care process developed by doctors David Hawkins and Richard Catalano has helped communities take active steps to promote positive development while simultaneously preventing problem behaviors in youth.

I thank my professional mentors, Donald Schwarz, M.D., and Gail Slap, M.D., who have nurtured me both professionally and personally. I pay tribute to the person who may have first inspired me to care so deeply about adolescents, the best teacher I ever had, Dr. Judith Lowenthal. I thank my colleagues at The Craig-Dalsimer Division of Adolescent Medicine at The Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia for always serving as role models of compassionate and committed care. Much of what I know about the power of prevention, I have learned at the hospitals Center for Injury Research and Prevention, where I have spent the last several years studying teen driving. I am fortunate to have had colleagues as creative and effective as doctors Flaura Winston and Dennis Durbin to guide this important work. I am particularly grateful to State Farm Insurance Company for supporting our efforts to save teens lives.

My family has had the greatest and most enduring influence on me. From my parents, Arnold and Marilyn Ginsburg; my grandmother, Belle Moore; and my brother Len, I have learned the power of unconditional love and the importance of interdependence. I am blessed with a wife, Celia, who supports me and enriches me, and with two precious daughters, Ilana and Talia, who serve as constant reminders to me about what really matters.

Finally, I thank the young people and their families who have allowed me to be a part of their lives. I am honored to work on behalf of military families through the Military Child Education Coalition and the U.S. Armys Child, Adolescent, and Family Behavioral Health Office. I am overwhelmed by the resilience and strengths of military families and their communities. I am moved by the love I see when parents bring their children to me at The Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia and am humbled by the opportunity to serve them. I find myself rejuvenated as I bear witness to the resilience of many of the patients I care for, but, in particular, the youth of Covenant House Pennsylvania consistently remind me of the strength of the human spirit.

This book began as a nugget of an idea when I was a childrens health reporter at The Philadelphia Inquirer and I wrote an article about when kids are old enough to do certain things. My then editor, Paul Nussbaum, told me the concept would make for a great book. The idea really took off several years later when I met with Ken at his office at Covenant House in Philadelphia. I told him about my when idea and before I knew it he had pen and paper in hand and was sketching out a plan for a much bigger and better book. From his years of working with teens and their families, he felt strongly that the promotion of resilience needs to be at the core of every decision parents make. That conversation marked the beginning of a terrific partnership, and Kens expertise on teens and parenting became the voice of this book. Ken is the kind of coauthor that every writer hopes for. He is creative, always enthused and energetic, and has a great knack for thinking two or three steps ahead. His positive way of seeing the world is infectious.