Lawrence A Kurdek - Social Services for Gay and Lesbian Couples

Social Services for Gay and Lesbian Couples

Lawrence A. Kurdek, PhD

Editor

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The Haworth Press, Inc., 10 Alice Street, Binghamton, NY 13904-1580 USA

This edition by Routledge:

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Social Services for Gay and Lesbian Couples has also been published as Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services, Volume 1, Number 2 1994.

1994 by The Haworth Press, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, microfilm and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

The development, preparation, and publication of this work has been undertaken with great care. However, the publisher, employees, editors, and agents of The Haworth Press and all imprints of The Haworth Press, Inc., including the Haworth Medical Press and Pharmaceutical Products Press, are not responsible for any errors contained herein or for consequences that may ensue from use of materials or information contained in this work. Opinions expressed by the author(s) are not necessarily those of The Haworth Press, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publicatlon Data

Social services for gay and lesbian couples/Lawrence A. Kurdek editor.

p. cm.

Social services for gay and lesbian couples has also been published as Journal of gay & lesbian social services, vol. 1, number 2 1994CIP verso t.p.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 1-56024-584-0 (alk. paper). - ISBN 1-56023-052-5 (alk. paper)

1. Social work with gays--United States. 2. Gay couples--United States. I. Kurdek, Lawrence A.

HV1449.S63 1994

362.8--dc20

93-40413

CIP

Introduction

Lawrence A. Kurdek

Despite myths to the contrary (Herek, 1991), many gay men and lesbians are in relationships. Unfortunately, many professionals working in the area of social services have received little or no training with regard to the special needs of gay and lesbian couples (Murphy, 1991). This volume helps to fill that gap by providing information regarding diverse aspects of gay and lesbian couples.

Because research on gay and lesbian couples is new (Kurdek, in press) and because it is difficult-if not impossible-to recruit nationally representative samples of gay and lesbian couples (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983), basic descriptive data on gay and lesbian couples is needed. The article by Steve Bryant and Demian Relationship Characteristics of American Gay and Lesbian Couples: Findings from a National Survey presents descriptive information regarding 13 topics relevant to relationships obtained from 1,749 gay and lesbian respondents. The data are rich and provide a best-guess profile of American gay and lesbian couples. Particular attention is directed at possible differences between gay and lesbian respondents.

What do we currently know about gay and lesbian couples, and what are the therapeutic implications of this knowledge? This question is the topic of the first paper in this collection by Bianca Cody Murphy entitled Difference and Diversity: Gay and Lesbian Couples. The major theme in Murphys paper is diversity: not only do gay/lesbian couples differ from heterosexual couples, but gay and lesbian couples differ from each other. In addition, there is diversity within lesbian couples and within gay couples. Murphy reminds us that the study of diversity is embedded in a larger context of belief systems regarding gender, sexual orientation, and power.

Of all of the myths surrounding being lesbian or gay, perhaps none are as harmful as those surrounding the relationships lesbians and gay men have with children (Herek, 1991). In her article Lesbian and Gay Couples Considering Parenthood: An Agenda for Research, Service, and Advocacy, Charlotte Patterson discusses the special needs of lesbian and gay couples who are considering parenthood. A particularly useful feature of this article is that Patterson describes innovative services that have been developed to meet the needs of these couples and provides names, addresses, and phone numbers of national organizations that provide resources for lesbian and gay couples contemplating parenthood.

The remaining papers in this collection address issues specific to lesbian couples and gay couples, respectively. In Being a Lesbian and Being in Love: Constructing Identity Through Relationships, Kristin Esterberg presents findings from a study of the way 95 lesbian and bisexual women construct their identities. The particular focus of this identity construction process is on the role of relationships. Esterberg notes that a lesbian identity is a distinctly modern phenomenon that is shaped by the social contexts-particularly those influenced by the feminist movement-in which lesbians live. Her data provide compelling evidence that the construction of a lesbian identity is not a unidimensional process.

Probably every gay couple in 1994 has been directly or indirectly affected by HIV infection and AIDS. In the paper Serodiscordant Male Couples, Andrew Mattison and David McWhirter discuss eight issues that are likely to be encountered by gay couples in which one partner has been infected with HIV (i.e., is sero-positive) and the other has not been infected (i.e., is sero-negative). This paper has a decidedly clinical focus, and illustrates the issues with vignettes and quotes taken from actual interviews with serodiscordant couples who have grappled with HIV- and AIDS-related issues. Methods for therapeutic intervention are offered for each issue.

I would like to thank the contributors to this volume for what are in many instances pioneering efforts to educate other professionals about issues specific to lesbian and gay couples. I am sure that readers of this volume will ensure that their efforts will go neither unheeded nor unrewarded.

References

Blumstein, P., & Schwartz, P. (1983). American couples. New York: William Morrow.

Herek, G. M. (1991). Myths about sexual orientation: A lawyers guide to social science research. Law and Sexuality: A Reviiw of Lesbian and Gay Legal Issues, 1, 133172.

Kurdek, L. A. (in press). Lesbian and gay couples. In A. R. DAugelli & C. J. Patterson (Eds.), Lesbian and gay identities over the lifespan: Psychological perspectives on personal, relational, and community processes. New York: Oxford University Press.

Murphy, B. C. (1991). Educating mental health professionals about gay and lesbian issues. Journal of Homosexuality, 22, 229246.

[Haworth co-indexing entry note]: Introduction. Kurdek, Lawrence A. Co-published simultaneously in the Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services (The Haworth Press, Inc.) Vol) 1, No. 2, 1994, pp. 13: and: Social Services for Gay an a Lesbian Couples (ed: Lawrence A. Kurdek) The Taworth Press, Inc., 1994, pp. 13. Multiple copies of this article/chapter may be purchased from The Haworth Document Delivery Center [1-800-3-HAWORTH; 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. EST)].

Difference and Diversity: Gay and Lesbian Couples

Bianca Cody Murphy

Summary. Some therapists believe that they should treat gay and lesbian couples just like heterosexual couples. Others hold the view that same-sex couples are completely different from heterosexual couples and that only specially trained therapists can work with them. This paper is an attempt to overcome the lack of information about gay and lesbian couples by describing the differences between heterosexual couples and homosexual couples; differences between gay couples and lesbian couples; diversity within both lesbian couples and gay couples; and the therapeutic implications of these differences. The discussion of differences has powerful political implications and is embedded within a larger context of belief systems about gender and sexual orientation. Therapists need to protect against categorizing, essentializing, or overgeneralizing about gay and lesbian couples. Although heterosexism, homophobia, and sexism affect the dynamics of all gay and lesbian relationships, it is important to recognize that age, class, race, ethnicity, and physical ability, as well as the dynamics of each individual couple, make each relationship unique. The therapist, whether lesbian, gay, bisexual, or heterosexual, should be familiar with issues specific to lesbian and gay experience within the dominant society, and, at the same time, be attuned to the idiosyncratic nature of individual couples.