Alice D. Domar - Conquering Infertility

Table of Contents

Praise for Conquering Infertility

Conquering Infertility offers sensitive, practical and scientifically documented support and guidance to help all those who are dealing with infertility.

Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Womens Bodies, Womens Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause

Patient after patient has derived peace of mind after learning the practical techniques in Dr. Domars book... Conquering Infertility is a must read for couples struggling to cope with infertility. Her book is practical, direct and enormously helpful in helping couples deal with the emotional turmoil so often associated with infertility. Michael Alper, M.D., Medical Director, Boston IVF

Dr. Domar has created a versatile toolbox for coping that soothes the pain of infertility and offers a holistic approach to achieving pregnancy.

Mehmet Oz, M.D., Director, Cardiovascular Institute, Columbia University

Coping with infertility is truly conquering it. Ali Domars book offers the much-needed tools for all of those facing the challenge of infertility. Understanding her pioneering work is a must for those undergoing the assisted reproductive technologies.

Jamie A. Grifo, M.D., Ph.D., Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology and Director of the Division of Reproductive Endocrinology, NYU Medical Center

Unlike many other infertility books, this work emphasizes mind/body techniques and helping couples resolve such emotional lifestyle issues as managing a career, dealing with friends and family members who become pregnant, and making peace with oneself when infertility treatments fail.

PENGUIN BOOKS

CONQUERING INFERTILITY

Alice D. Domar, Ph.D., is the founder and director of the world-renowned Mind/Body Program for Infertility and author of the national bestseller Self-Nurture. She is also Assistant Professor of Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Biology at Harvard Medical School and the director of the Mind/Body Center for Womens Health at Boston IVF, Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. She lives in Boston, Massachusetts, with her husband and two daughters.

Alice Lesch Kellys writing appears in numerous publications that include Health, Fit Pregnancy, Shape, Womans Day, and The New York Times. She lives in Newton, Massachusetts.

To Katie

A.D.D.

To my mother, Catherine Walsh Lesch,
and in memory of my father, George A. Lesch Jr.

A.L.K.

Although this book is a collaborative effort by Alice D. Domar, Ph.D., and Alice Lesch Kelly, for the sake of clarity and simplicity we use the pronoun I for Dr. Domar (Ali) throughout. The scientific findings and case histories in this book are a product of her research and clinical work. The names and identifying details of the patients discussed in this book have been changed to protect their privacy.

The advice in this book is offered as a health recommendation, not as a substitute for standard medical care. We recommend that you use mind/body approaches only in conjunction withnot instead ofmainstream infertility care. Consult your physician about any symptoms or illnesses you may have, and inform him or her about any treatments upon which you embark.

For seventeen years I was at the Mind/Body Medical Institute at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, which is where I did all of my research and started the Mind/Body Programs for Infertility. As we were completing this book, however, I accepted an offer to become the director of the Mind/Body Center for Womens Health at Boston IVF. The infertility programs are moving to Boston IVF, where they will continue and be expanded.

Thank you to all of the people who have contributed their time and energy to the Mind/Body Infertility Program and to this book. These include Alan Penzias, M.D.; Kim Thornton, M.D.; Barbara Nielsen, M.Div., Ph.D.; Ellen Sarasohn Glazer, LICSW; Diane Clapp, R.N., as well as the people on my staff who have been infertility group leaders: Patty Martin Arcari, Ph.D., R.N.; Eileen OConnell, Ph.D.; Janet Fronk, R.N., M.S.; Leslee Kagan, R.N., M.S., N.P.; Harriet Redmond, R.N., M.S., C.S.; Ellen Slawsby, Ph.D.; Melissa Freizinger, M.A.; and Angel Seibring, Ph.D. I would also like to thank Christine Driscoll, Michele Chausse, Carol Tennant, and Eva Selhub, M.D.

I would also like to acknowledge the brave journeys that all of my patients have made and how much they have taught me over the years.

Many thanks to my patientsyou know who you arewho read early drafts of this book and gave such wonderful, constructive feedback. I thank my colleagues in the mental health professional group of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine for their support and teaching over the years. My appreciation goes also to all of the infertility doctors and nurses in the Boston area who have referred patients to me over the years. My deepest gratitude goes to Joseph Mortola, M.D., my co-investigator on the federal infertility study, and to Bruce Kessel, M.D., who took over after Joe died. I would like to thank Herbert Benson, M.D., and Marilyn Wilcher for their consistent support of the infertility program while they were at the Mind/Body Institute. And my most sincere appreciation to Alan Penzias, M.D., for his encouragement in moving the programs to their new home at Boston IVF, and to Michael Alper, M.D., Ronald P. Jones, Benjamin Sachs, M.D., the Boston IVF board of directors, and the rest of the Boston IVF staff for making the move a reality.

Tremendous thanks also to my husband, Dave, and my daughters, Sarah and Katie, for their patience while I worked on this book.

I would like to express my deepest gratitude to the Lesch and Kelly families, who have always been so supportive of my writing. Thanks also to the friends and fellow writers in my e-mail villageI cant imagine surviving the long days at my desk without messages of encouragement and friendship and silliness from Tim Gower, Carol Hildebrand, Kim Nash, Christopher Lindquist, Victoria Abbott Riccardi, Sarah Bowen Shea, and the members of my Boston-area freelance writers group. A special thank-you to Nancy Gottesman, who assigned me my first freelance story and introduced me to Ali Domar. An enormous hug to my sons, Steven and Scott. And most of all to my husband, Dave, who insists that its neat being married to a writer even though it occasionally makes for a rather chaotic life. I love you all.

Warmest thanks also to the many infertility patients who shared their stories with me. During the months that I conducted most of my interviews with Alis patients, my father was fighting a seventeen-month battle with cancer. The women and men I spoke to showed such strength of character, resilience, dignity, and goodness that simply listening to their stories helped me feel stronger and better able to cope with my fathers illness and death. What an amazing group of people. It was an honor to interview you.

And thank you, Ali, for asking me to be your coauthor. It has been a tremendous experience for me and a pleasure working with you.

We would both like to thank the dozens of Alis patients who shared their stories for this book. We know that it can be difficult to disclose personal stories, but these women and men did so willingly in order to help other people who are struggling with infertility. Thank you for your generosity and kindness.