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Daphne Rose Kingma - The Future of Love: The Power of the Soul in Intimate Relationships

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The Future of Love: The Power of the Soul in Intimate Relationships: summary, description and annotation

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The future of relationships is moving us toward the vaulting awareness of who we really are as human beings, something we have managed to avoid for a very long time by being so thoroughly committed to convention...This is the future of lovevast love, love beyond boundaries, love without preconceptions and judgments, love without outdated mythslove which can actually be experienced.
At a time when over half of all marriages are ending in divorce, Daphne Rose Kingma, a well-known therapist and relationship expert, has recognized that our familiar ways of thinking about relationships are no longer working. I have written this book because it is clear that many of our previous assumptions about relationships need to be dismantled, writes Kingma. As we go through this process, we will discover a number of new ideas: that our relationships can have different forms than we ever imagined; that they will serve different purposes; that they will require different offerings from us. They will also bring us new gifts.
We are in the midst of a sea change, in which not only are many traditional relationships failing, but unexpected new arrangements are beginning to appear; gay marriages are surfacing, step-families abound, and many people are consciously choosing to live alone. As Kingma explains, these transformations should not be feared; instead, they represent a real opportunity. In the past, conventional relationships were often destroyed by an overemphasis on the nuts and bolts of psychology, on working to achieve the unattainable perfect relationship while ignoring our most vital selvesour souls. The glorious message of The Future of Love is that the disturbing changes we are all experiencing are actually part of the souls plan, as it breaks down outdated conventions to bring us a new, fuller understanding of love.

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Also by Daphne Rose Kingma Coming Apart A Garland of Love The Men We - photo 1

Also by Daphne Rose Kingma

Coming Apart

A Garland of Love

The Men We Never Knew

Weddings from the Heart

Heart & Soul

Finding True Love

For FX with abiding love Acknowledgments My deep thanks to those who in - photo 2

For F.X.

with abiding love

Acknowledgments

My deep thanks to those who, in love, delivered me here:

F. X. Feeney, William Edward Glennon, and, most especially, Mary Jane Ryan.

Very special thanks

To Marianne Williamson for loving encouragement, spiritual kinship, and sacred witness; and to Al Lowman for magnificent literary nurturing, and also for generosity and poetry and dignity. You are a gift, Al.

Special thanks also

To JK007 for extraordinary love and generosity and for going all the way through this with me.

To Ian McLeod McKnockiter for encouragement from across the sea and across all worlds.

To William Claude Slater for being, once again, the miracle.

To B. G. Dilworth, Charlotte Patton, Dean Williamson, and Maggie Lang for always being so graciously there.

To Andrea Cagan for friendship, editorial assistance, and soul kindness.

To Pat Mulcahy, my editor at Doubleday, for being courageous, receptive, responsive, and wonderfully real; and to Denell Downum for handling every transaction in the preparation of this book with the utmost graciousness.

Warm thanks

To Laura Madsen, the Angel of Responsibility, for steadfastness, intelligence, and an ever-lovely spirit.

To Kym Rousseau, the Delightful One, for cheering my heart and smoothing my path.

To Donald McIlraith for being an open heart and a healing hearth.

To my dear sister, Chris, for being there every step of the way.

And much love to Molly, whos been there all along.

Contents

Chapter 1
Awakening Spiritual Consciousness
Relationships as the Chalice of Love

Chapter 2
The Past as Prologue
Relationships as Social Convention

Chapter 3
Love as We Have Known It
Relationships as an Enterprise of Personality

Chapter 4
A Higher Calling
Relationships as an Expression of the Soul

Chapter 5
The Journey to the Future
Relationships and the Development
of Spiritual Consciousness

Chapter 6
On the Sacred Frontier
The Nature of Soul-Driven Relationships

Chapter 7
Illumined Relationships
The New Forms of Love

Chapter 8
When the Soul Enters
The Ten Qualities of a Soulful Relationship

Chapter 9
Transformational Challenges
Living the Questions of
Illumined Relationships

Chapter 10
The Greatest Love

Foreword

Sometimes you can judge a book by its cover.

A couple of years ago I bought a book by Daphne Rose Kingma for no other reason, Im afraid to say, than that I liked the title, and the gorgeous jacket matched my bedroom decor. What the heck, I thoughtthis book begs for a silver teapot, and who knows, I might even read it.

When the day came, not too long after, when I began to do just that, I found one of those delicious treats awaiting me: reading a book that no one has yet told you is amazing, but which certainly is. What followed was the usual celebratory ritual: call all your girlfriends, buy as many of the books as you can for all of them. This woman, I said, totally understands.

It was one of those books youre so enthralled by that you read every last word on the jacket, and lo and behold, guess what I found? Daphne Rose Kingma, announced the jacket, lives in my town. And so I wrote a fan letter, and have been sitting at her feet ever since.

One day, sharing with Daphne a relationship quagmire of my own, I said to her, I read your bookI thought you could fix me!

Not with that book, she answered. Youre about my next book.

And her next book is what you now hold in your hands. As I write this, I dont know yet what its cover looks like, but I know the power of its content and the radicaland radically transforming effectof its information. I have been listening to Daphne Rose Kingma for over a year now, hanging on to her words because I know they come from somewhere very deep and far away. I think she is one of the Knowers on the planet, one of the women who see things, and pass on the information. With this book, I hope her information reaches even further and wider, past our personalities, past our barriers, past our resistances to love. She takes our hands and guides us past the war zones of relationships to the peaceful meadows of a higher love.

The only thing this book cant give you is the marvel of her face, her hands, her body, her laughter, her mischievous sparkling knowing eyes, andexcuse me for throwing this inher taste in clothes. But you can still get so much magic from this book. Daphne Rose Kingma is a spiritual power-house who enters your life and does amazing things. With this book, she carries on her work. So settle in, reader. Youre in excellent hands.

Marianne Williamson

Introduction
A Renaissance of Love

Love is a mighty power. It is light. It is the energy of life. It brings us into life and sustains us while we live and breathe.

Love is an energy, not a substance. It is essence, not matter. You cant contain it; you cant put it in a box, but you can feel it, taste it, and know it. Its presence is unmistakable. It is exquisite and profound. And when you are in love, nobody, not your best friend, your parents, or even your own mind can talk you out of it.

Love is mysterious and beautiful. It makes us happy, gives us hope, allows us to believe that the impossible can happen. And yet, its inexplicable. It cant be defined or analyzed, catalogued or priced. Its premier property is that when it exists, it can never be mistaken for anything else, and nothing else, no matter how worthwhile or supposedly grand, can ever be passed off as love.

Love is a divine energy that steps into human circumstances, a timeless essence that enters time. It is older, wiser, finer, truer, sweeter, and more radiant than any human being. It is what makes us wise, fine, true, sweet, and radiant. It is the bestthe essence of Godin us. And it is love, this exquisite energy, with which we connect when we first enter into the human experience we call a relationship. We see this energy in one anothers eyes; we feel it in our bodies and we know that something bigger than life has stepped into our lives to capture our attention. It is this highly charged, buoyant, transcendent, delicious feeling, and the longing for more, for a lifetime of it, that propels us into relationships.

Relationships are the endless interplay of this vast energy of love and all that occurs in our daily human lives. Our desire to feel this love forever, to be in love always, to repeat and endlessly recapture this ecstatic luminous feeling day by day, year after year, with the person who first inspired it in us is not only why we fall in love but also why we choose to have relationships. It is also why, when our relationships go sour or grow threadbare, we reminisce about the way they once were. We want to reconnect with love.

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