DuBois Allison - Talk to me : what the dead wisper in your ear

Talk to Me

Born in Phoenix, Arizona, Allison Dubois became aware of her ability to communicate with departed souls when she was six. After a BA in political science from Arizona State University, she worked as an intern at the district attorneys office in Phoenix. This got her interested in using her skills to help solve crimes. Allison now devotes her life to connecting deceased loved ones to help the living, and also to help law enforcement agencies. Shes the inspiration for the internationally popular TV series Medium, and author of three New York Times best-selling books: Dont Kiss ThemGood-Bye, We Are Their Heaven, and Secrets of the Monarch.

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Spirits and children

E very seminar on my tour carries a theme. Sometimes its predominantly loss of father, other times suicide will be the majority of the readings. This isnt planned; its just how it works. The other side draws together people who have common energy, who carry common pain.

When I was in Texas in 2010, I had a three-city tour in a four-day period. I found the three cities had something more in common than sharing a state; all three events had a heart-wrenching themeloss of children.

I always ask my audiences to reach out to one another during my events and console their neighbour if they feel inclined to do so, because we are all connected and should be that shoulder-to-cry-on when we can. One of my events was in Austin, Texas, and the people were really friendly, but as usual my life gravitates to the news, and this was no exception. My manager and cousin Mark and I were travelling from Houston and the national headline of the day was that an airplane had f lown into an Internal Revenue Service building in Austin.

I turned to Mark and jokingly said, You dont suppose that was next to our hotel, do you?

Well, as it turned out, it was, and the media circus and police presence were so fierce we couldnt even get to our hotel. We had to take a crazy detour and pass right by the burned building. The sight of it made one grateful to be alive, as we stared at the black hole that was the cancer on the building where a day ago the buzz of everyday life had been. Helicopters hovered like birds around the crime scene. The town was in disarray, and I only hoped that the next night would be calm for my audience, who had already been rocked to their emotional core through their own losses.

Fortunately, everything worked out just fine, and the ballroom began to fill up on the night of my event while, one by one, I shared time with the usual excited, nervous line of people at my book-signing table. By the way, I have some truly good-looking fans, and thats on the inside and outreally quality people.

Anyway, I finished signing books for the crowd and began the show, talking about different ways one can die. I asked the audience to raise their hands if they were there for a murder, and then those who had lost children. Unfortunately, a few hands remained up, meaning these people had lost a child to murder.

My manager Mark works the microphone and he seemed pulled to a woman with sad eyes named Gail. She came up to the stage and sat in a chair next to me. I wrote her name at the top of my notepad, and she told me that she wanted to connect to her daughter.

For those of you who havent seen me do a reading, I use a technique called automatic writing; that is, I put a pencil to paper and scribble whatever comes to me. It helps me to focus my energy. As I brought the little girl through, I did occasionally become distracted by an audience member crying for Gail or an empathetic heart breaking in time with hers.

Gails daughter kept showing me the number 17, but it wasnt resonating with us why that number was so important to her daughter. We continued regardless. The little girl told me that the man who murdered her had a male friend who, during the crime, knew that it was going on. I found this very disturbing. She kept talking about being around the detectives who worked her case, and how every detective has that one case they never forget or get overthe one they take to the graveand she is that case for them. She also wanted to thank them for working so hard and caring so much.

After the event, Mark talked to Gail and she told him the detective was actually in the audience that night, and he had said that 17 was how many days the girls body was missing.

This reading hit me like a cement slab to the face. Gails daughter was twelve years old when she disappeared; my daughter is also twelve years old. It becomes very personal to me when I connect with parents who have their kids ripped from them. I have to believe justice will be served one way or another for the innocent. As for the perpetrators, well, we wont go into that here.

People ask me why I prefer doing readings for trauma survivors. My answer is that I want to help the people whom others stay away from, the ones no one knows what to say to, those who become a part of this private invisible club of people who lose their children and decide to die with them. Theyre physically here, but emotionally they need to be resuscitated, understood, heard out and reminded to stay open to their babies and to also open their eyes to life, because those whom we lose physically continue to live with us soulfully.

FAMILY TIES BEYOND DEATH

I remember meeting Lyman and Sheila for the first time. It was for an in-person reading. It struck me that if you saw them walking down the street, you wouldnt realise they had been taken apart by tragedy. Their energy was so cool and upbeat, but doing what I do, I could see in their eyes that something was missing from their lives. That something was their son Michael.

When I book readings, I obviously dont want details about the person who has passed because it taints what I get, and that makes for a weaker reading. Michaels parents experience with me is chronicled below, and I think what they share is the most important part of what you need to know about their son. I dont want to detract from their account of the reading, so Ill keep this brief.

In my books I include the words of the people who I have read for because you can relate to them, since theyve been through what you have. I find it important to hear from someone who can understand your pain entirely. For those of you who havent been through this sort of loss, I think you can empathise with the people sharing their stories. In turn, this empathy you feel towards them is like youre sending their heart a get well card. Its a positive exchange of energy from you to them. Also, I like to give the person coming through centre stage, so the living can better know what happens to us when we die, learning about it from those whove been through it.

Michael came through easily enough. He was focused on his family and answering the questions he surely hears run through their minds every day since his passing. He gave the feeling of pressure to my throat and an inability to breathe. I tried to convey this with sensitivity to his parents. How a person felt when they passed is often something they need to share in a reading without throwing in hurtful details.

Michael talked lovingly about how proud he is to have Lyman and Sheila as his parents and how lucky he was to have them in his life. He was firm about still being part of the family and spending most of his time around them. He gave the name of one of his friends who knows more about the incident than hes saying, but for legal reasons I will not include it here. He was very fond of his black truck, and teasing his sister. There were many details shared in his reading, but what it comes down to is that he was able to orchestrate a reading with me for his parents. He needed to reach them badly and Michael moved heaven and earth to do so. Its nice to know that our children need to stay connected to us every bit as strongly as we need to hold on to them. We are indivisible by death... they are our children and nothing can truly take them from us, ever.