Daniels - The liquor is quicker diet

A Real Mans Guide To Weight Loss

- OR

How My Fat A** Lost 20 lbs in 2 Months

By Grady J. Daniels

IONized Publishing Group

Copyright 2016 Grady J. Daniels & IONizedPublishing Group

***

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoymentonly. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people.If you would like to share this book with another person, pleasepurchase an additional copy for each recipient. If youre readingthis book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for youruse only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer andpurchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work ofthis author.

The publisher of this book, IONizedPublishing Group wishes to acknowledge that this is a work ofnon-fiction. To our knowledge, these are true events as representedby the author. With that said, the publisher has no knowledge ofthe accuracy of these statements, nor of the safety or heathrepercussions of the recommendations contained therein. Thepublisher recommends that the reader consult a physician prior tostarting any diet, and highly recommends that alcohol consumptionshould be monitored and enjoyed with moderation.

Under no circumstances will the publisher beheld responsible for any actions or consequences as a result of thereader reproducing the suggestions in this book. We highlyrecommend that the reader treat this self-help book as a historicalbiography of the authors experience, and enjoy the humorouspresentation. To repeat, you have been warned. Any of thesuggestions that may follow may be a hazard to your health, andcould endanger others. Additionally, we also recommend that if youare reading this book, you might consider contacting AlcoholicsAnonymous for further advice, and making a large donation toMothers Against Drunk Driving.

PLEASE DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE.

Okay, great. You just read all that legalcrap from the publisher, so now let me put it to you, straight up.This is a telling of my personal weight loss experience. If youdecide to follow any of my recommendations, do so at your own risk.Heres the reality, my fat butt lost 20 pounds in just 2 months.Oh, and did I mention...with NO EXCERCISE! AND I was lit up thewhole time! Lit up? You ask...let me explain.

Those on the intelligent side might call itcomfortably numb. Those in my town may say, inebriated. You maycall it intoxicated. Well Im here to tell you that theyre allfull of beeswax. I was smashed. Thats right, straight up, downright, drunk. The good news is that being drunk makes the time passreally fast. The bad news is that you really gotta be careful ofthose hangovers. Thatll ruin your day, big time.

Now I aint gotta clue about how my doctormay feel about this diet, but hey, whatever! That pansy littleasian dude aint got a clue how to have a good time. Course, hesmy new doctor. Had to let the last one go, what with the Obamacarecrap. If you want to live, you should probably consult your doctorbefore trying any of the crap I did. Consider yourself warned. Iaint no doctor, and this whole thing is probably pretty bad foryou. Meanwhile, sit back and enjoy. Heres how I lost 20 pounds in2 months on The Liquor is Quicker Diet.

***

PS: I agree with my publisher. Please givethem folks over at Mothers Against Drunk Driving some money, anddont never drive drunk.

There I was, minding my own business. Pizzawas my best friend. I was sucking down the suds (a nice lightpilsner beer) by the case, and cramming half a dozen doughnuts infor dessert. Life was good! But then, like you, I woke up one day,and hell, I cant remember the last time that I saw my belt buckle.Now, look a here, this is one hell of a belt buckle. NASCAR driver,Rusty Wallace signed it for me way back in 1984. I wore it at mywedding. Im talking a real special piece of history. And to makeit even worse, my old lady was ragging me. Fat slob this, andfat slob that. Jesus, woman, cut me a break!

Lets get real, I never had the six pack abs(hell, the only six pack I had was the one I was drinking), buthey, I was always pretty much in shape. I could pick up stuff thatno one else could. I could carry the three guys on me while playingtag football (its tag you ijits, get offa me!) I could open thatstubborn jar of pickles, when no one else could. And I was alwaysbig enough that nobody looked at me sideways. Okay, maybe I had puton a few pounds in the last few years (20...or 40), but I was stilla mans man. But was that enough for my old lady? Hell no!

Here it is in a nutshell. She said that I wasfat AND lazy. Really? Working all the hours I do at my crappy deadend job just trying to put food on the table and keep a roof overour head? Got one word for that...Bitch! Well, kinda...shes thelight of my life, and dont mean no harm. Not really. She justwants me to be healthier and to live longer. But as Garfield theCat once said, DIET is just DIE with a T.

So here I was, fat for sure, but hating theidea of a diet. Well, hell. At some point you gotta embrace thehate. Google, here I come! The basis of this diet is high fat, tonsof meat and lots of liquor (to fuel the weight loss). In a way,its the perfect mans man diet. Think about it, all the chickenwings you can eat, while liquored up! Steaks, lobster, shrimp,burgers...OMG...Im getting hungry just thinking about it. Let megrab a margarita, and Ill be right back! (Sipping sounds in thebackground) Ahh. I say, licking the salt from the rim. So sitback and hold on. This is how I lost 20 pounds in 2 months.

Look, Im not gonna lie to you. This dietrequires a sufficient amount of libations to work. At least, thatsmy experience. In most diets, alcohol consumption is absolutelyverboten. Against the law, so to speak. With The Liquor is QuickerDiet, its required. The type of liquor is totally up to you! Atwenty year old scotch, Tequila with a worm, or vodka made thismorning. It makes no difference. What does make a difference is themixer. Margaritas are fine, as long as the margarita mix that youuse is sugar free and carb free. Scotch, bourbon, and whiskey aregood to go, as long as they are served straight up, or mixed withwater, or any other mixer that has zero carbs. Diet Coke can beyour friend! Even Moonshine is fine, as long as it is tripledistilled (gotta watch out for the hidden carbs in cornliquor).

I could give you a line of crap about how thealcohol breaks down the fat molecules, emulsifies them, and thenmetabolizes them, but really, I dont have a clue why it works. Ijust know it worked for me. Reminder: I lost 20 pounds in 2months!

A word of caution. Liquor, and Liqueur, aretwo completely different things. Liquor is the distilled essence offermented grains. However, Liqueur is exactly the same thing, withsugar and other diet killing crap added to it. A liquor willtypically be eighty proof or above. A liqueur will be less thanthat (because its been diluted by all that crap they put in it),usually in the thirty to forty proof range. STAY AWAY FROMLIQUEURS. And before you even ask what PROOF means, Ill give you aquick rule of thumb. Whatever the proof is, just divide that numberby two, and youll know what percentage of grain alcohol is in yourliquor. If its eighty proof, eighty divided by two equals forty,so an eighty proof vodka, is forty percent grain alcohol. If its ahundred and fifty proof, then its seventy five percent grainalcohol, and at seventy five percent, it can also be used for lampfuel, paint remover, or to clean brake parts. Oh, and a quick wordabout brake parts. According to my wife, the bathtub IS NOT theideal place to clean them. Just so you know.

What about wine, you may ask. Well if youreasking about wine, youre reading the wrong damn book. You shouldlook for some foo foo pansy ass looking book, maybe with somefrilly borders and the like. The only thing you need to know aboutwine, is dontdrink it that is. Its fine for cooking, but then sois Worcestershire sauce, but you dont see me drinking that crapeither. If you have a hankering for some wine, just drink a shot ofvinegar and chase it with some sugar free Koolaid. Its all aboutthe same.