Degeneres - Home

Hi, everyone! And welcome home. Welcome to Home. Welcome to my homes. Welcome. This book is all aboutyoure never gonna believe thisthe home! Its about my current home, my former homes, what makes a home a home, and what you can do to make your home homier. The word home will appear in this book nine million times.

How do I know so much about this, you ask? Dont I usually write humorous books chock-full of observational anecdotes and sharp wit? Well, first of all, thank you for being so inquisitive and also complimentary. I wasnt expecting that. And the answer is this: I have had a passion for interior design for as long as I can remember. In fact, interior design is what I would do if I wasnt a comedian and talk show host. And when you really think about it, theyre not that different. As a talk show host, I sit and talk with beautiful people all day. Some are young, some are a little older. They all have fun quirks that make them interesting and unique. They have a story to tell. They have outstanding bone structure, and yet what really matters is whats on the inside. Its the same with houses. Some are young, some are older. They all have quirks that make them interesting and unique. They have a story to tell and great bones, but what really matters is whats on the inside. And after youve spent a little bit of time with each one and learned what you can, its time to bring out the next house. I mean, guest. I mean, both.

Yes, its true. I move a lot. Its well documented. A lot of people dont understand it. Most folks grow up in one home and spend most of their adult life in another home, and to them thats normal. But for me and the conch shell crab, its not normal. Normal to us is finding a shell that suits us for a while until we outgrow that shell and then find another shell to crawl into. But unlike the crab that chooses the same type of shell, each one bigger than the last, my taste in styles and sizes of homes is varied. Ive gone from traditional to midcentury to contemporary to Italianate. I have downsized as often as Ive upsized.

As corny as it sounds, to me, home is where the heart is. (Note to self: Thats a great phrase. Look into trademarking.) So moving houses is just another way in which I get to experience life. I mean, I get that moving from house to house isnt appealing to everyone. After all, its right up there in stressors with death and losing a job. In my case, I could add hosting the Oscars to that list, and moving houses two days after hosting the Oscars. But the truth is, moving has always been fun for me, not stressful. To understand why, you must first understand where my desire to constantly move comes from and its not just from writing an essay on conch shell crabs in the sixth grade.

My family moved a lot. Not out of state, just to different areas of the city of New Orleans, where I was born. And by living in different houses, I discovered that each one came with a different personalitydifferent molding, different ceiling heights, different surfaces and floors. But we never owned any of these houses, only rented. So in addition to moving from rental to rental, we spent most Sundays as a family going to open houses. I not only loved seeing all the different types of architecture, from typical New Orleans bungalows to Spanish, ranch style, and traditional, but it was interesting to see how different people lived, the furniture they used, the way they decorated, what kind of food they had in the fridge, what kinds of medicine they were taking.

Although I wouldnt realize it until later, those Sundays spent at open houses were the beginning of my passion for design and owning houses. The houses I saw as a kid were probably about $60,000 to $80,000 (it was the 60s in New Orleans) and we couldnt afford them. I didnt know that at the time; I imagined each one of them might be our first home, especially if we went back to look at it a few times. But we never even made an offer. And that is why as soon as I was even close to being able to afford a house, I bought one.

My first house was $250,000, and at thirty years old, I was a homeowner. Once I was in the market it was easy to parlay that first house into another, better house (I discovered as an added bonus, real estate is a good investment), and as my career and my bank account kept growing, I found that all I wanted to do was find a new and better design project. My financial success in my career enabled my passion for design to grow as I learned about furniture and architecture with each new home.