Shandon Fowler - The grooms Instruction manual : how to survive and possibly even enjoy the most bewildering ceremony known to man

Copyright 2008 by Quirk Productions, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2007931469

eBook ISBN: 978-1-59474-766-3
Trade Paperback ISBN: 978-1-59474-190-6

Designed by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum @ Headcase Design
www.headcasedesign.com

Illustrations 2008 by Headcase Design
Trade paperback production management by Chris Veneziale

Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
quirkbooks.com

v3.1

Congratulations!

ATTENTION!

If youre reading this book, you must be head-over-heels in love with your fiance! Youre ready to take the plunge and get married! Youre gonna spend hours drafting a seating chart for all of your guests! You cant wait to interview florists! And photographers and caterers! And musicians and clergymen and wedding planners! Your wedding is going to be The Greatest Day of Your Life and you are totally, totally stoked!

Or maybejust maybeyoure a little bit scared .

If you fall into the former category, we salute you. (Were also incredibly freaked out by your enthusiasm, but thats another matter.)

If you fall into the latter category, we are happy to offer these words of comfort: Its okay to be afraid. Marriage is a big commitment, one of the biggest decisions youll make in your whole life. Planning a wedding can often resemble a cruel fraternity hazingyoull perform a series of ridiculous, frustrating, and often humiliating tasks just to prove youre worthy of standing before the altar.

Thankfully, your fiance has plenty of advice at her disposalhundreds and hundreds of books and magazines with frilly fonts and white covers and embossed gold-foil stamping. But todays multibillion-dollar wedding industry doesnt offer much in the way of guidance to men, despite that guys play a more active role than ever in the planning of their ceremonies and receptions.

A quick trip to the bookstore reveals two different types of resources for would-be grooms. The first consists of advice from a woman, a.k.a. a person who has never actually been a groom, or shopped for a tuxedo, or bribed the Tijuana police at a bachelor party turned sour. With all due respect to the fairer sex, this is advice you do not need. The second type comes from men who take their role in the battle of the sexes a little too seriously. Their primary concerns appear to be planning that wild bachelor party in Tijuana and negotiating an indestructible pre-nup.

We trust you want more from your grooms guide. Heck, you deserve more. Youre a stand-up twenty-first-century gentleman. Youre trs moderne. You watch football and basketball, but you can tolerate an occasional romantic comedy, especially if Vince Vaughn is playing the lead. Youll thumb through Playboy and Maxim, but you really do read the articles (really). You are not a caveman. You want the wedding to have style and panache. You want your fiance to be happy. You want your friends to look back on The Big Day with fond memories for years and years to come. You crazy bastard, theyll sigh, shaking their heads in admiration, wishing they could travel back in time to relive your wedding all over again. That was one hell of a night.

The Grooms Instruction Manual will walk you through every step of the engagement processfrom crafting a perfect proposal (in case you still havent done so) to drafting those thank-you notes after the honeymoon. You will learn what to wear and how to save on wearing it. Youll learn how to buy the perfect rings (yes, there will be more than one ring to purchase) for less. Youll get tips for picking a pro photographer, obtaining a marriage license, dealing with embarrassing relatives, and much, much more.

Well also help you understand the psychology of your fiance, her parents, your parents, and other major players in the wedding. There will be conflict ahead. Best to anticipate it now. Planning a wedding can bring out the worst in people. But to paraphrase James Taylor: When your fiance is wigging out, your budget is imploding, your future father-in-law is threatening you with a monkey wrench, and your mother is in hysterics, just call out your Instruction Manuals name, and youve got a friend.

Confucius once said, A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. This ancient wisdom can be applied to planning a wedding in the twenty-first century. Your journey will certainly feel like a thousand miles, and it will begin with a single stepasking the question Will you marry me? Hidden behind these four words are, well, quite possibly the rest of your life. Before you embark on this incredible adventure, lets take a few minutes to make sure youre ready.

Getting Married: A Pre-Screening

There are classes and workshops for virtually everything in life, and marriage is no exception. None of these classes are mandatory, however, and you are likely (and hopefully) going into this engagement with no firsthand experience as a married man .

Before you pop the big question and make a commitment that will endure the rest of your life, take this marriage pre-screening quiz and see how you fare on the road to engagement:

Have you gotten the go-ahead? YES NO

For most, this question is a no-brainer. We expect that you and your girlfriend keep open lines of communication and that youve not only talked about the future, youve talked specifically about your future together. But if thats not the case, you may be in for a rude awakening. Let this question provide your first lesson: Always consider your mates feelingsbefore the engagement, during the engagement, and forevermore. You will misread her feelings plenty, and shell do the same to you, but if youre not copacetic on this first question, the time or the match is likely not right.

Is your decision being made under duress? YES NO

Perhaps you have trouble with commitment. Perhaps youve received an ultimatum from your girlfriend. Perhaps your mother, father, or potential in-laws are dropping not-so-subtle hints that you need to speed things along. Whatever the circumstances, you are the only one who can decide whether youre readyso dont rush it. Theres always counseling if youre just an indecisive wreck, but your marriage will only ever be as strong as your commitment to it.

Is her decision being made under duress? YES NO