Ivy - Dear father: breaking the cycle of pain

Thank you for downloading this Atria Books eBook.

Join our mailing list and get updates on new releases, deals, bonus content and other great books from Atria Books and Simon & Schuster.

C LICK H ERE T O S IGN U P

or visit us online to sign up at
eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com

We hope you enjoyed reading this Atria Books eBook.

Join our mailing list and get updates on new releases, deals, bonus content and other great books from Atria Books and Simon & Schuster.

C LICK H ERE T O S IGN U P

or visit us online to sign up at
eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com

Advance Praise for

DEAR FATHER

J. Ivy is way more than a poet. He is a weaver of our fabric, a teller of our stories, a griot, an activist, a man. He has traveled the world fighting ignorance and injustice with his city on his back, the tears of his people in his pockets, and words as his weapons.

Talib Kweli , hip-hop artist and activist

J. Ivy has been blessed with a unique gift. He has the distinct ability to touch hearts and souls through the power of his voice, and to open eyes and minds through the truth of his words.

I know that through this book, people who may be struggling with challenges will connect with his message and begin to experience their own healing.

Israel Idonije , NFL veteran, humanitarian, and philanthropist

I feel that J. Ivy is one of the most passionate, creative, and deep-thoughtprovoking poets to come in a very long time. I feel he is a very special spirit to give us so much insight and love and inspiration. He carries the blessing of our ancestors, and that gift in his words brings us light as we travel through these dark times. J. Ivy is light! God bless you my bro.

Doug E Fresh , hip-hop legend and The Worlds Greatest Entertainer

J. Ivy has always possessed the ability to communicate the social consciousness of this hip-hop generation. His work with Kanye West and others is revered globally. His Dear Father poem touches me personally, being a son who didnt grow up with my father present in my life. What he articulates transcends economic and ethnic boundaries on many levels. Keep speaking, brother, the world needs healing.

Sway Calloway , host of The Wake Up Show , producer, and MTV VJ

I could say that J. Ivy has a way with words. I could say that he stands in a league of his own. I could say hes an amazing young talentall of which, while being true, would be too obvious. It was all these thingsdelivery and the sound of his voicethat changed my perspective on his type of art. His voice in all facets of the word is simply legendary.

Estelle , Grammy Awardwinning singer/songwriter

Its always a pleasure to work with someone who you can appreciate, someone who you respect, someone who you feel has talent, that can take us to the next level. J. Ivy is a healing poet, a brother who is concerned about the future of us.

Abiodun Oyewole of The Last Poets

A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

www.SimonandSchuster.com

20827 N.W. Cornell Road, Suite 500

Hillsboro, Oregon 97124-9808

503-531-8700 / 503-531-8773 fax

www.beyondword.com

Copyright 2015 by James Ivy Richardson II

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever without prior written permission. For information, address Atria Books/Beyond Words Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

Managing editor: Lindsay S. Brown

Editors: Henry Covey, Emily Han

Copyeditor: Kristin Thiel

Proofreader: Mark Antonides

Interion and Jacket design: Devon Smith

Cover, jacket, and author photos: Andre Wright, Jr

Composition: William H. Brunson Typography Services

Director of Dream BIG: Chris Velona

Music Producer for Dream BIG: Rich Sancho

Director of I Need to Write: Cam Be

Director of Dear Father: Coodie & Chike

Director of Dear Father trailer: Jamaar J.

Music Producer for Dear Father video: Aaron Richardson

First Atria Books/Beyond Words hardcover edition January 2015

ATRIA BOOKS and colophon are trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc. Beyond Words Publishing is an imprint of Simon & Schuster Inc., and the Beyond Words logo is a registered trademark of Beyond Words Publishing, Inc.

For more information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or business@simonandschuster.com.

The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event, contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Ivy, J.,

Dear father : breaking the cycle of pain / J. Ivy. First Atria Books/Beyond Words hardcover edition.

pagescm

1.Ivy, J., 1976.2.Poets, American21st centuryBiography.3.Rap musicians United StatesBiography.4.Chicago (Ill.)Biography.I.Title.

PS3609.V94Z462015

811.6dc23

[B]

2014024650

ISBN 978-1-58270-508-8

ISBN 978-1-4767-7825-9 (ebook)

The corporate mission of Beyond Words Publishing, Inc.: Inspire to Integrity

To

James Ivy Richardson Sr.,
My love for you, for my father, is genuine and true...

and

Pamela Richardson,
For the purity of your love, guidance, and strength...

I truly THANK GOD for you both!

If you dont deal with your emotions,

One day your emotions are going to deal with you.

H ow do you destroy what you cannot see? How do you protect your- self from attacks lurking in your blind spots? How do you stop an untouchable darkness from spreading in your soul?

These hidden issues that preyed on me, these problems that wrestled with my soul, there, in the midst of my subconscious, they grew beastly, feasting nightly on my misery, transforming my joy into my pain.

These emotional beasts were mean, angry, hurt, and abandoned. Hungry and vicious, they preyed on my every move, I had no clue when the next emotional attack was comingI was lost in this jungle of my own fears.

I struggled with this pain. It became a constant member of my life, finding ways to maneuver around my emotional defenses and crushing the foundation of my spirit. I felt confused, undervalued, and lonely. My confidence was shattered. I didnt know who I was. I didnt know what gifts I possessed.

Look, Im not the manic depressed person singing, Woe is me

in a not-so-perfect key, looking for someones sympathy.

I confess! Thats just not me. Its not my makeup or part of my personality.

But at different points in my life, I have found myself haunted. I never played the victim, but I was victimized, tormented, hypnotized by the lies that my doubts told me. As a child I struggled with feeling worthy. Namely, I felt like I wasnt good enough for my dad.

This shifted my entire psyche, extending to every facet of my life. My confidence was compromisedmy edge was dulled cause I was not being challenged by the leader of my home team. My passion was limited cause I was not charged by the energy of a parents love. Similar to the markings left behind by lightning striking delicate earth, I was scarred with a permanent pain, a constant reminder of my reality. My father had left me.