Mechell Medina - When its Time to Let Go: Taking Control of Abuse

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Copyright 2016 by Mechell Medina

All rights reserved.

Green Ivy Publishing

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When Its Time To Let Go: Taking Control of Abuse/Mechell Medina

ISBN: 978-1-946446-22-0

Ebook: 978-1-946446-23-7

Contents

Authors Note

T he abuse described in this book is based on actual events. However, the names of characters have been altered to protect the personal privacy of those affected. Any resemblance to actual names or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental, and the author has no intent to disparage anyone.

The purpose of this book is to enlighten its readers about an actual abusive relationship by viewing the abuse through the eyes of the victim and to stress that any form of abuse should never be acceptable.

Please note that these are serious and sometimes life-threatening situations. Therefore, if any individuals reading this book believe they are being abused in any way, which includes verbal, physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual abuse, the author encourages these individuals to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), which will direct you to the appropriate sources of help in your state.

It is extremely important to take control of abuse in the early stages because denial could lead to compromising circumstances. So remember, your life may depend on it, and help is only a phone call away.

Introduction

A buse has existed since the beginning of time. However, as time changes, the traumatic effects from abuse remains the same. Anyone can become a victim of abuse, as it does not discriminate with regard to age, race, ethnicity, or gender.

Described in this book are the events from an actual abusive relationship that eventually snowballed into violent episodes and caused unwarranted trauma to the victim. This powerful literary work will explain the detrimental effects that abuse causes as you view the maltreatment from the victims perspective.

This book briefly depicts the various types of abuse that the battered individual endured, as well as some of the different warning signs that the batterer possessed, which was demonstrated through his actions. Whether the warning signs of the abuse were initially visible or well hidden from the victim, this book will clarify how the abuse eventually surfaced.

Even though there is no justification for abuse, an attempt to produce a mental illustration of several bizarre attributes that the abuser possessed will briefly explain why the abuser justifies his actions. This will illustrate that this type of individual is a serious batterer.

The book will identify some of the common obstacles that prevent many battered individuals from readily escaping. Different people face different situations. Sometimes there are children involved, other commitments and obligations, fear of the abusers threats, or the most common, having nowhere else to go.

In most cases, victims suffer in silence and change with the abuse, eventually becoming immune to and accepting maltreatment as a part of their lives. Consequently, without effective early intervention, abuse can escalate in severity and sometimes lead to death. As a result, some battered individuals may contemplate murder or even kill their abusers to end the violence, so it is extremely important to seek professional help before its too late. Victims of abuse need to adopt survival tactics to overcome living in fear, because abuse is a serious issue and should not be taken lightly.

Therefore, the intention of this book is to give victims of abuse the truth about the harmful behavior of abusers. The objective is to empower battered individuals and teach them to realize when its time to let go.

Chapter 1

How We Met

J ust imagine a story in which lovers meet, fall hopelessly in love, and eventually get married with the belief that they will be soul mates until the end of time. Well, this love story does not have that fairytale ending. Instead, it finds its way into an awful turn of events. Prince Charming transforms into Mr. Hyde, and Sleeping Beauty becomes a battered, single mother. Sometimes, that is just the way life goes. Now lets go back to that first day that changed my whole life.

I remembered it like it was yesterday. I had just moved back to New York from Charlotte, North Carolina, in March 2002, right after 9/11, and I was congested with a terrible cold. My intention was to temporarily stay with my mother because my finances were not looking too good at that time. Food was the only thing on my mind, and there was nothing in the kitchen that I wanted to eat, so in a sense I was forced to join my family in a trip to an all-you-can-eat buffet for dinner.

After we were seated at the restaurant, we grabbed some plates of food. As I was enjoying my meal, across the room, I noticed a very handsome, light-skinned man with beautiful, green eyes that hypnotized me. He was staring at me, but I pretended not to notice. Suddenly, my sweet tooth put me in the mood for vanilla pudding. As I headed toward the dessert machines, I saw that my new infatuation happened to be standing against the wall near my destination.

He was the first to speak. He introduced himself and tried offering me his phone number. He will be referred to as Cee. I tried to play hard to get, so I didnt respond to his greeting but kept walking. In my mind, he wasnt as tall as I would have preferred, but if he was taller than I was, how bad could he have been?

By the time I got back to my table, he and his friends were departing. Cee approached my table with a huge smirk on his face, and there was definitely a physical attraction between us. We exchanged words, then he handed me his phone number and asked me to call him later on that evening, and he abruptly rushed off. He left me speechless. I watched him vanish into the crowd. I finished eating my meal and shortly thereafter, my family and I headed home.

At home, I thought about calling him but wasnt sure I should. I needed to choose between calling my new acquaintance or getting together with an old neighborhood friend who had stopped by and happened to be my ex-boyfriends brother. However, the deceitfulness of privately conversing with a relative of my ex-man repulsed me, so there was no question that I should meet with Cee.

I contacted Cee later that evening, and we eventually decided to meet at a neutral location, which happened to be down the street from where Cee claimed he lived. I was not sure how to interpret why we didnt meet at his home. I guessed it could have been for various reasons. Maybe he had something to hide and didnt want me to know where he lived, or he may have been very cautious as to who he brought to his place, which would have been understandable. Whatever the reason, I didnt give it much thought.

We made spontaneous plans when we met. I mean, I had not been on a date for quite some time, so I wasnt too concerned about making plans because in New York, there is never a dull moment. We decided to grab a bite to eat at a seafood place somewhere on Eastern Long Island. I was a bit nervous about riding in his car, so I drove my car, and he rode with me. I had told my family who I was with and had given them his phone number in case of an emergency.