Lewis Kempfer - Dont Mind Me, Im Just Having a Bad Life: A Memoir

Copyright 2019 by Lewis Kempfer

First Edition.

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in encouraging piracy of copyrighted materials in violations of the authors rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

MacArthur Park

Words and Music by Jimmy Webb

Copyright (c) 1968 UNIVERSAL - POLYGRAM INTERNATIONAL PUBLISHING, INC. Copyright Renewed

All Rights Reserved - Used by Permission

Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard LLC

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

This is a work of nonfiction and everything that happened is true. Certain names, locations, and identifying details have been altered for sake of clarity and to honor the privacy of individuals.

ISBN: 978-1-54397-075-3

ISBN e-Book: 978-1-54397-076-0

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019904549

www.LewisKempfer.com

Cover Design by Kenny Holcomb

Author Photo by Martin Bentsen

Printed in the United States of America

Praise for Dont Mind Me, Im Just Having a Bad Life

Such a joy to read Lewiss fluid writing! Wonderful vibrant dialogue and images. His is a vivid and very honest voice. Bravo!

Martin Moran, author of The Tricky Part and All the Rage

Incredibly strong riveting.

John Kazlauskas, TV writer

Deeply raw and revealing, and I imagine, freeing all at once. Its a fast read because its so compelling. In a world so superfluous, its refreshingly honest. Reads like Catcher in the Rye.

Dave Earick

Lewis brings forth so many incredible challenges and visions of a world that teeters just on the edge of stereotypical normalcy, yet then descends into incredible challenge Crazy powerful.

Ray Robinson, Dog Ear Publishing

Nice storytelling really authentic and homespun.

Flynn Falcone, Author

About the Author

Lewis Kempfer grew up in Denver where he began his writing, singing, and acting careers. He attended college in Phoenix, studying print journalism at Arizona State University while working at the citys largest public relations firm. When offered a development deal to be a country recording artist, he relocated to Nashville in 1995 where he earned his bachelors degree from Trevecca Nazarene University. Then, in 2000, he co-founded the Boiler Room Theatre. While directing and producing at the Boiler Room, he wrote book and lyrics for two original musicals, That 60s Christmas Show and Billy Bobs Holiday Hoedown, both of which played to enthusiastic, standing-room-only houses. His six-year body of work at the Boiler Room led to a dream job with a major entertainment company in L.A. Lewis also created an award-winning, self-promotional short film, From Concept to Completion , in 2007. After three roller-coaster decades, he returned to Denver where he lives with his best canine mate, Marty McPug.

www.LewisKempfer.com

Blog and Book-Related Photo Gallery

For Mom.
I love you with all my heart forever.

Contents

Introduction

Denver: 2019

Ive always been a historian and archivist. Whether it was publishing the 5th grade newsletter, serving as my high schools yearbook editor for two years, writing a weekly column for the Broomfield Enterprise newspaper, working in public relations, or marketing and documenting the theater I co-founded, Ive always been known to be the one with a mind like a steel trap. Well, before that trap starts to get too rusty, I need to tell my story. Its not a typical memoir that focuses on one event, nor is it an autobiography, chiefly because Im not a celebrity. But I believe my story must be told and that someone out there desperately needs to hear the message of hope thats woven through it.

Dont let the title throw you; this is not fifty-two chapters of woe-is-me hard-luck tales. I believe youll find plenty of humor however dark and self-deprecating. It was sometimes my bizarre sense of humor that got me through.

I started writing this book shortly after my brothers suicide in 2014. That event and its aftermath are not included in this memoir but will be the subject of this books sequel. Part of whats taken me more than five years to write and revise this book has been my wavering conviction. I started the memoir as a testimony to Christ saving me from myself. Then, influenced by social media and the advice I received from an agents seminar, I decided to make the book less Christian-y and step up the snappy repartee to appeal to the LGBTQ community, my target audience. Still, it didnt feel right. I figured some church-minded person would accuse me of trying to further the gay agenda, although I dont know what that is. By the fourth revision, I decided to go for the broadest, most commercial angle possible appealing to a large swath of readers; I was going to publish a bestseller!

Then God brought me, once again, to my knees. I was humbled by physical and mental challenges as I crept at a snails pace through draft five. I was reminded that the only reason I had any story to tell was because of Gods grace. Who was I to be so arrogant to decide how many people should read the thing? If God deemed that I should spend five years writing a book for one person to read, who was I to be so selfish to withhold my story?

This was going to be a Christian book for an audience of believers. But Ive been continually reminded that its not the saved believer who needs to read my story. So, the dilemma Ive faced has been to either homogenize my story for the Christian reader, or tell it with the shocking grit that reflects the events as they happened. Make no mistake, theres adult language in this book. I have tried to limit my use of expletives to within dialogue and my italicized thoughts. There are many uncomfortable scenes, but they are true. They all happened, and they played key roles in my faith journey. Its sad that the Christian faith wants the soul without the story. Perhaps church attendance wouldnt decline if there was less judgment on what a person went through to become a believer.

My path to salvation was wickedly twisted. I was a hard sell for God. I was defiant and believed I was self-sufficientuntil I wasnt.

Coming to know Christ didnt magically take away the gay part of me, although I wish it had. Instead, it left me searching for answers about the way I should live as a redeemed child of God. I still havent gotten that part right, but thankfully, we have a kind gentle, and loving yet powerful Father in Heaven, who, like a shepherd, watches carefully over his flock.

I can imagine what youre thinking, Oh great, another book about sheep and shepherds and getting saved. Stick with me. Be a sheep for a while. In essence, thats what the Lord told me. Stay with me. Become a sheep. If this doesnt work for you, your old ways are eagerly waiting for you.

Join me on my rough-and-tumble journey, and see where it leads you. If nothing else, I hope you find my story entertaining.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,