Claudia Christian - Babylon Confidential: A Memoir of Love, Sex, and Addiction

PRAISE FOR

Babylon Confidential

An honest, page-turning insight into alcoholism and the road back out.

Neil Gaiman, New York Times Bestselling Author

I was gratified my method of alcoholism treatment could play a part in Claudias journey from addiction to successful recovery. This vivid and insightful book can help save others suffering from this disease.

John David Sinclair, PhD, Founder, The Sinclair Method for the treatment of alcohol addiction

Warning: Once you start reading Babylon Confidential you may not be able stop until the last page. Just as with a good novel, whenever I wasnt reading, I found myself wondering what would happen next. Babylon Confidential offers mesmerizing insight into the allure of success, the pressures of Hollywood, the pitfalls of love, and the nature of addiction. Despite putting readers through the emotional wringer as it depicts her struggles, Claudia Christians memoir ultimately emerges as a message of hope.

Rebecca Moesta, New York Times Bestselling Young Adult Author

Babylon Confidential is compelling, horrifying, and uplifting. Claudia Christian has an amazing story of glitz and darkness and ultimately a journey as strange and exciting as any of her films.

Kevin J. Anderson, New York Times Bestselling Coauthor, Sisterhood of Dune

[ Babylon Confidential ] is from the heart, succinct, clear,
and gives hope where there is none.

Stephen Michael Cox, MD, President, National Anxiety Foundation

The dashing and darling Claudia puts herself on the line with her struggles with addiction. Claudia shares and bares it all to help everyone else.... A must-read for fans and for folks dealing with any kind of addiction.

Pat Tallman, Actress and Stuntwoman; Author, Pleasure Thresholds

Fearless and inspiring. Claudia not only remembers the torturous calamities of her life, as well as the highs, but she recalls them here with skill, grace, and utterly no apology. If you have an addiction, or know someone who does, you must read this book.

Shari Shattuck, Actress; Author, Callaway Wilde novels

This story is a runaway train on a roller coaster rail. Told with brutal honesty, Claudia Christian takes us on a trip through her life of sex, drugs, despair, betrayal, courage, humor, love, and triumph. She has lived it all and shes inviting us along for the ride. Hold on to your hat!

Walter Koenig, Actor, Director, and Author

A wild ride. Claudias James Frey-like voice reveals the secret life of an alcoholic. Read, laugh, and learn. But most importantly, shareto save a life.

Clare Kramer, Actress

Claudia Christian shares her darkest secrets and greatest fears in her brilliant new addiction memoirfunny, heart-breaking, engrossing, and brutally honesta book you wont be able to put down.

Amy Luwis, Author, Yoga to the Rescue book series; Cofounder, AdoptAPet.com and adventuresoftoxicgirl.blogspot.com

COPYRIGHT

Copyright 2012 by Claudia Christian and Morgan Grant Buchanan
Afterword Copyright 2012 by Dr. Roy Eskapa

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available for this title.

Ebook ISBN 9781937856076

Editing by Erin Kelley
Copyediting by David Bessmer
Proofreading by Laura Cherkas and Rainbow Graphics
Cover design by Sarah Dombrowsky
Text design and composition by Neuwirth & Associates, Inc.
Ebook production by Erica Jennings/JENNINGS DESIGN

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DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my mother, Hildegard.
Her constant love, fierce loyalty, and utter devotion have taught me that a mothers love is truly incomparable. You are my best friend, my ballast, and the love of my life, Mama.

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

No one sets out to become an addict.

When youre a kid and people ask what you want to be when you grow up, you imagine yourself as a doctor or a teacher (or if youre five-year-old me, as an actress or the dictator of a small country), something that involves helping people and making the world a better place. You never consider that one day youll find yourself sitting at a bus stop on Coldwater Canyon as the morning traffic passes by, your hands shaking as you try to get the vodka-spiked orange juice past your lips. You dont imagine that youll be close to death in a detox clinic with a total loss of muscle function, dehydrated and hallucinating. No parent gives you advice on how to survive the long walk to the liquor store when the cupboard is dry, though you develop strategies. You ration out sips of vanilla extract (35 percent alcohol) and pray that it will prevent a seizure. It keeps the contents of your stomach down and your shaking legs from buckling under you.

You dont see that coming; I sure didnt when I followed my dream to pursue an acting career in Hollywood. Id left behind a family wracked by a tragic loss, was betrayed by the people I loved most, and survived a horrific rape. By the time I was eighteen, I was working on shows like Dallas and Falcon Crest and earning a six-figure income. The Hollywood I found myself caught up in was a whirlwind of beauty, wealth, and power. I made out with stars like George Clooney, Kelly LeBrock, and Rob Lowe in the hottest hotels and clubs in L.A. and New York, rejected William Shatner, traveled the world on private jets and super yachts with lovers like Dodi Fayed, and, in my breakthrough role as Commander Susan Ivanova on Babylon 5 ,found millions of fans. My life has been one of extremes. The bounty of love and encouragement from family, friends, and fans is in sharp contrast to the unexpected mix of stalkings, shootings, and betrayals.

By the time I found myself at that bus stop, I was beyond caring if anyone recognized me. The self-aware Claudia was still there inside me, sitting in judgment in the back of my brain, but she wasnt running the show. In the late 1980s I starred in The Hidden , a cult classic sci-fi movie. My character is possessed by an alien who steals human bodies to disguise its presence. That was the state Id reached with my drinking; it was as if another person had taken me over and all I could do was look on like a bystander at a traffic accident.