Banishing Bullying Behavior
Banishing Bullying Behavior
Transforming the Culture of Pain, Rage, and Revenge
SuEllen Fried and Blanche Sosland
ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD EDUCATION
A division of
ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD PUBLISHERS, INC.
Lanham New York Toronto Plymouth, UK
Published by Rowman & Littlefield Education
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Copyright 2009 by SuEllen Fried and Blanche Sosland
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Fried, SuEllen.
Banishing bullying behavior : transforming the culture of pain, rage and revenge / by SuEllen Fried and Blanche Sosland.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-60709-220-9 (cloth : alk. paper) ISBN 978-1-60709-221-6 (pbk. : alk. paper) ISBN 978-1-60709-222-3 (electronic)
1. Bullying in schoolsPrevention. 2. School violencePrevention. 3. School childrenConduct of life.
I. Sosland, Blanche E. (Blanche Eisemann), 1936-
II. Title.
LB3013.3.F748 2009
371.58dc22 2009031958
Printed in the United States of America
` The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.
Acknowledgments
Blanche Sosland, my co-author has been a blessing to work with on this collaboration. Her instincts were always right on target. Her expertise as a former Director of Teacher Education at Park University added an invaluable dimension and her passion for children with special needs resulted in an important chapter. Blanches longstanding belief in the effectiveness of my work has been a source of immeasurable support. The Sosland family is beloved in our community and members of her family, especially David and Abby, were indispensable to our final product.
My husband, Harvey, rose to every occasion of my infinite needs. His being there for me was limitless. He continues to be the irreplaceable anchor in my life. Blanche and I drew heavily on the work that Paula Fried, our daughter, had contributed to two previous books on this topic that she co-authored with me. Bullies, Targets & Witnesses, published in 2003 by M.Evans and Co, in particular, was a source of significant content.
Our son, Jeff, CEO of Beebe Medical Center, in Delaware sponsored several training opportunities for me and our other son, Marc, who is an attorney, shared some crucial legal advice. Our seven miracles (our grandchildren) provided personal information scattered throughout our book. I am so proud of Elise Stuewe, Samantha Fried, Joe Fried, Jim Fried, Sam Stuewe and deeply grateful for the special material from Allison Stuewe and Anne Fried. Camille Fried, my daughter-in-law and an extraordinary fifth grade teacher at Tillman Elementary School in Kirkwood, MO., is a resource I turn to, time and time again. Her principal, B.R. Rhoads, critiqued material and his recommendations added considerably to the value of our work.
Betty Barker Bashaw, a cherished friend and respected psychiatrist, shared significant information and essential research. She never failed to find ways to be helpful to me. My BullySafeUSA Certified TrainersDixie Dakos, Mary Fischer, Jan Klein, Lynne Lang, Vicki Price, Kathleen Saucier, and Deborah Trust were crucial consultants for the Chapter on Burning Questions from Educators. Debbie Johnston is an awesome advocate for bullying prevention. She is a role model for all of us.
Mary Fischer, Kathy Saucier and Lynne Lang provided significant work toward my evaluation results. Andrew Terranova, Ph.D., tracked my program for many years, through untimely hurricanes in New Orleans and Ft. Myers, Florida. I can never adequately express my appreciation for his professional participation and persistence. Judy Pfannenstiel provided valuable expertise and time to complete the data analysis for my evaluation.
It has been a pleasure to work with Rowman & Littlefield Education. Tom Koerners response to our idea for this book was immediate and sustaining. His sound advice served us well as our book evolved. Maera Stratton was always available when needed and expanded our thinking about our roles as co-authors. Lynda Phung brought all the pieces together and skillfully guided us through the production stage. Rita Blitt and Norman Polsky have given national and international visibility to the concept of kindness and Ihave benefited greatly from their creativity and generosity. Robert Goodman continued to be my technology guru as I faced computer challenges.
A cherished group of women friends for thirty years, known as the Watering Hole, bring me such joy and now research proves that they are addingyears to my life, as well.
Sandra Fabian, with Childrens Hospital of the Kings Daughters invited me to work in Norfolk, Virginia, where I learned as much as I taught. Teresa Greenberg shared a most pertinent story and Molly Laflin continues to send me resource information I would never have discovered. Mariner Kemper, CEO of UMB Bank is trying to ensure that my program will reach as many children as possible. His belief in my ability is a continuing source of cherished encouragement.
Members of Reaching Out From Within, an inmate self-help program in twelveKansas Correctional Facilities not only provided me with authentic anecdotal material, they continue to be a weekly source of inspiration to me.
Brad Slaughter and Mark Schotte, of Bark Productions, Kansas City, MO produced my training DVD. They assembled a first rate crew and made an invaluable contribution. I am profoundly grateful for the role they played in making this training film possible.
Dr. Linda Tinsley, principal of Blue-Jacket Flint Elementary School in Shawnee, Kansas, is an awesome principal. Dr. Tinsley graciously allowed meto use her school as our production site. One of her marvelous fifth grade teachers, Killeen Koontz, put her wonderful students in my hands for the filming.
Malcolm Gladwells book, The Tipping Point, had a profound effect on my search for practical, innovative strategies to bring about social change. No matter how daunting the future appears, he is a persuasive advocate for possibility. What a gift to a world holding its breath!
Had it not been for Irving Sloan, I might never have been a published author. Irv was a legendary teacher at Scarsdale Middle School, Scarsdale, NY; an author; a social justice champion; and a dear friend who died in 2008. I am just one of countless people who claim him as a potent influence. I miss him terribly.
SuEllen Fried
There was no text in over twentyyears of college and university teaching that my students appreciated as much as Bullies and Victims by SuEllen and Paula Fried. Keenly aware of the lack of proper preparation for teachers to deal with the ever-growing challenge of bullying in the classroom I contacted SuEllen Fried to ask her if my students could observe her conducting a Student Empowerment Session. This was an enormously successful experience for my students and both SuEllen and I agreed that there was a tremendous need for a text in higher education to prepare classroom teachers to adequately meet the needs of their students to banish bullying.