Ferguson Christopher J. - The everything parents guide to dealing with bullies: from playground teasing to cyber bullying, all you need to ensure your childs safety and happiness

THE
EVERYTHING
PARENT'S GUIDE TO
DEALING WITH BULLIES

Dear Reader,
I like to think of myself as an educated and enlightened mom. I do ever ything I can to keep my kids safe. I get my kids vaccinated, have them wear helmets, sign them up for swim lessons, and make them ride in booster seat s. I taught them to be wary of strangers and to look bot h ways before cros sing the st reet. But I failed to teach them about one ver y real dangerbullie s.

I had no idea my four-year-old son was dealing with a bully until the day I asked him to identif y his preschool classmates in the clas s picture. As he pointed from one smiling child to the next, my son said, This is Jenny, this is Thomas, and this is my bully....

I was taken aback because I hadnt realized that bully ing existed in kids so young. Ive since discovered that bullying exists in ever y school and in ever y classroom from pre school through college. In researching and wr iting this book, I feel incredibly lucky to have learned the specific skills and strategie s that will help keep my kids safe from bullie s (or from behaving like a bully themselves) early on. I hope reading it doe s the same for you and your children.

Welcome To
THE
EVERYTHING
PARENT'S GUIDE

Everything Parents Guides are a part of the bestselling Everything series and cover common parenting issues like childhood illnesses and tantrums, as well as medical conditions like asthma and juvenile diabetes. These family-friendly books are designed to be a one-stop guide for parents. If you want authoritative information on specific topics not fully covered in other books, Everything Parents Guides are your perfect solution.

Alerts: Urgent warnings

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THE
EVERYTHING
PARENT'S GUIDE TO
DEALING
WITH
BULLIES

From playground teasing to cyber
bullying, all you need to ensure
your childs safety and happiness

Deborah Carpenter with Christopher J. Ferguson, PhD

Copyright 2009 by F+W Media, Inc.

All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced
in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions
are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

An Everything Series Book.
Everything and everything.com are registered
trademarks of F+W Media, Inc.

Published by Adams Media, a division of F+W Media Inc.
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322 U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-60550-054-2
ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-054-6
eISBN: 978-1-60550-711-8

Printed in the United States of America.

J I H G F E D C B A

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available from the publisher.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

All the examples and dialogues used in this book are fictional, andhave been created by the author to illustrate disciplinary situations.

This book is dedicated to my children, Kaylin and Kevin.

bul ly
An individual who
is consistently cruel,
overbearing, and often
abusive, especially to
those persons who are
perceived to be weaker.
Also known as Canis
Canem Edit (Latin
for dog eat dog)

Acknowledgments

Id like to thank my family (especially my husband, Jeff) and friends for all the support and encouragement given to me during this project. The encouraging e-mails, babysitting services, and coffee dates were greatly appreciated. And many thanks to Bob Diforio, Katie McDonough, and Brett Palana-Shanahan for their kind guidance through this process.

During the researching and writing of this book, I read far too many heartbreaking stories of children suffering at the hands of bullies. No child deserves to be bullied. And no child should be allowed to bully. To all you parents, teachers, school personnel, and professionals who work tirelessly day in and day out to protect children from harm thank you. You are the people who truly make a difference.

Contents

CHAPTER 1 What Is Bullying?

CHAPTER 2 Types of Bullying

CHAPTER 3 Types of Bullies

CHAPTER 4 The Bully

CHAPTER 5 The Bullied

CHAPTER 6 The Bystander

CHAPTER 7 Factors That Lead to Bullying Behavior

CHAPTER 8 Common Bullying Myths

CHAPTER 9 Warning Signs That Your Child Is Being Bullied

CHAPTER 10 The Consequences of Bullying

CHAPTER 11 Boy Bullies

CHAPTER 12 Girl Bullies

CHAPTER 13 How to Bully Proof Your Child

CHAPTER 14 Social Skills and Assertiveness Training

CHAPTER 15 Parental Responsibility and Why Getting Involved Can Help Enact Change