I dedicate this book to our global family and to those who are ready to transform their racial conditioning.
Contents
PART 1
A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING
Chapter 1
PREPARING FOR THE JOURNEY
Chapter 2
WHY IT HURTS
Chapter 3
WHAT IS HEALING AND WHY DO WE NEED IT?
Chapter 4
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ANTI-RACISM & HEALING RACISM
Chapter 5
RACE, LATITUDE, & ATTITUDE
Chapter 6
THE ROLE OF EMOTIONS
Chapter 7
TRAUMA
Chapter 8
WHY HISTORY MATTERS
Chapter 9
HOW RACISM WAS INSTITUTIONALIZED
Chapter 10
RECONSTRUCTION & BEYOND
Chapter 11
THE FIVE LEVELS OF RACIAL CONDITIONING
Chapter 12
DOING GOOD DEEDS
Chapter 13
BRINGING THE UNCONSCIOUS TO LIGHT
Chapter 14
WHO INTERNALIZED THE CASTE SYSTEM?
Chapter 15
THE THREE LANGUAGES OF THE CASTE
PART 2
THE STAGES OF THE HEALERS CODE
Chapter 16
INTRODUCTION TO THE STAGES OF THE HEALERS CODE
Chapter 17
HOW WE CAN HEAL
Chapter 18
WHAT IS THE HEALERS CODE?
Chapter 19
STAGES 1 & 2 - INNOCENCE & IGNORANCE
Chapter 20
GRIEVING & HEALING
Chapter 21
STAGE 3 - DENIAL
Chapter 22
DENIAL MAINTAINS DYSFUNCTION
Chapter 23
STAGE 4 - ANGER
Chapter 24
STAGE 5 - BARGAINING
Chapter 25
STAGE 6 - DEPRESSION
Chapter 26
STAGE 7 - ACCEPTANCE
Chapter 27
STAGE 8 - REENGAGEMENT
Chapter 28
STAGE 9 - FORGIVENESS
Chapter 29
STAGE 10 - WITNESSING
Chapter 30
STAGE 11 - PROCESSING
Chapter 31
STAGE 12 - VISION
Chapter 32
STAGE 13 - TAKING ACTION
Chapter 33
CONNECTING THE DOTS
Chapter 34
THE PRESCRIPTION
Chapter 35
PRACTICES TO SUPPORT YOUR HEALING
The great solution to all human problems is individual inner transformation.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I want to start by thanking Eric Koester, whose genius idea it was to get college students to write a book in less than a year, and Kip Dooley, for suggesting I join the class to write this book. I also thank the editors and staff at New Degree Press for their great commitment to the process.
My sons, for tirelessly contributing time and energy and finding all the missing commas, grocery shopping, and preparing meals so I could continue to work on this book. And my daughter, who is one of my greatest cheerleaders!
My beta readers: Debbie Rosas, Ginny Baldwin, Jennifer Mathews, and Thaddeus Gamory. Thank you so much for the great feedback, questions, and early praise! Jennifer, thank you for all the edits and the great talks.
My campaign contributors, without whom this book would not be a reality. Thank you all so much!
A. Sebris, Abisola Pua Faison, Aja Davis, Alex Cary, Alfonso Sasieta, Alison Card, Alyssa Johnson, Amy Soucy, Amy Verebay, Andrea Nagel, Anjel B. Hartwell, Annie, Mike, and Avery Bukay, Barbra Esher, Betty, B. Pleasant, Brenda Yosseti Beza, Brenden McMullen, Brenna C. Frandsen, Caitlin Duffy, Candace Simpson, Carin Rockind, Carla, Celeste Elliott, Charolette Letourneau, Chella Drew, Cherdikala, Cherie Mejia, Christie Jimenez, Christina Jett Kowalski, Christopher Dooley, Christy Dimson, Claudia Norby, Connie Duval, CVSongstress, Cynthia Harvey, Deirdre McGlynn, Dianne Shepherd, Donna Bohanon, Eleanor LeCain, Elizabeth Johnson, Elizabeth Santos, Eric Koester, Erin Bentley, F. G. Watkins, Frances Kao, Gail Cowan, Greta Janet, Gretchen Kainz, Grigg3, Heather Fogg, Heather Plucker, Ina A. Lukas, James S. Pfautz, Janice Eng, Jaq Belcher, Jawltn, Jazmin Hupp, Jean-Luc Dessables, Jennifer Booker, Jennifer Mathews, Jennifer Voss, Jonathan Rosenthal, Joseph Phillips, Julia Jarvis, Kaisha Lawrence, Kara Barnett, Karen Friedman, Kathleen Gille, Kathrine Weissner, Kathryn Bailey, Kay Randolph-Pollard, Kelli Campbell, Kenzie Raulin, Kevin Matta, Kris Miller, Kristi Plucker Kristiana Harapan, Lauren Boudreaux, Laurie M. McTeague, LaVerne Day, Lia Venet, Linda Newton, Lisa Peters, Lynne C. Davis, Mara Lee Gilbert, Mara Sobotka, Margaret Belland, Marta Valentin, Martha Creek, Mary Lynne, Meade Hanna, Megan, melissiab, Melody Eddy, Mercedes Eugenia, Michael King Jr., Michael Watts, Michele Sullivan, Michelle Hanson, Miriam Kaufman Nash, Nancy E. Shaw-Hart, Nicholette Routhier, Nicole Love, Patrice Dunckleyl, Peter Sklivas, Philip Arny, Rachel Darrow, Rebecca Beall, reldridge2020, Shadowwk, Shirani Pathak, Spring George, Stefania Dominguez, Stefanie Ziev, Susan Collin Marks, Susan Rios, Susan Sparkman, Tami Fairweather, Tara K. Gorman, Tarsha Burton, Tatyana Foltz, texasnyc, Thomas Douglass, Tina McRorie, Tohewlinl, Valerie Smith, Vergie Cooper, Will Rogers, Wilson Marykate, and Winalee Zeeb.
You are the reason I continue to do this work!
INTRODUCTION
a prescription for healing racial conditioning and finding wholeness
Know what you stand for, for someday you may need to stand alone.
Feliciano (Don Felipe) Hughes Walters, my father
The day Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. died, I locked myself in the bathroom and couldnt stop crying. I got my calling that day, at thirteen years old. My mother had gone to the grocery store, and my father and I were watching something on the television. The program was interrupted to announce Dr. King had died. I was devastated. My father knocked on the bathroom door, asking if I was all right. I just said, Yes, Im fine. But I wasnt fine.
While in the bathroom, I realized we had left our beautiful island to move to a country where they killed people for being Black. And as if that was not enough, I was losing my mind. While in the bathroom, I heard a voice that said, You are to continue the work. This upset me even more. They had just killed a man for doing race work. There was no way I was ever going to do that.
Fast forward to 2020; more than fifty years had passed since Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was murdered. For decades, we had been seeing Black men killed by the police on our TV, more recently on social media. But this time, we were locked down in the middle of a pandemic, isolated from family, friends, and workmates. It was the early days of the pandemic. Many were considering the growing number of deaths from COVID-19 while alone in their homes, perhaps even pondering our mortality. We watched a man begging to be allowed to breathe, calling for his mother, and taking his last breath. Then, there before our very eyes, we watched him die. His name was George Floyd, and his murder, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, has changed everything when it comes to race in America and around the world. His last words, I cant breathe, became the mantra as his death prompted protests around the US and the world.
This murder woke the world to the reality Black and Brown bodies are treated differently than White bodies in America. It woke the world to inequalities and inequities in ways nothing else had done up to that point, much the way I woke up when I was thirteen years old.
The years passed, I went on with my life, and I started to do personal development work. Then, one day, a friend who knew me to be a fan of Tony Robbins, the motivational speaker, told me he would be speaking in Boston, and she had a ticket for me to see him live. It was the mid-1980s, and I was still resisting doing race work. But something happened to me in that room of about one thousand people. As I looked up at Tony Robbins on stage, it occurred to me that I could do what he was doing, and I would do it with anything but race. I had already been speaking and training about such subjects as time management and salesanything other than race. I knew I had to keep speaking about anything except race. But that would change.