Aaron Clarey - Reconnaissance Man

Without a doubt, the single worst decision I ever made in my life was to move to Minnesota. Of course, at the time it didnt seem to be a mistake. Matter of fact, given the information I had at the time, it was the wisest choice I could make. My fondest memories were from Minnesota where I fished with my grandpa, played with my aunt, and was spoiled by my grandma. People in Minnesota were always nice, helping my family out when we needed it. It had reciprocity with my home state (Wisconsin) which would make college tuition cheaper. And it was just far enough away from my parents that Id be independent, but not so far away I couldnt return home to visit. In all honesty it was a no-brainer, so in 1993 I moved out and attended the University of Minnesota. But the decision to move to Minnesota set forth a chain of events that would limit, control, and cripple the amount of happiness and success Id have in my life. And 23 years later the consequences of that ill-fated decision still limit and affect my life today.

In moving to Minnesota, consciously or not, I had planted roots in the state and its culture. These roots manifested themselves in the form of social networks, connections, contacts, relationships, and a career that would support and sustain my life. However, the drawbacks of planting roots in any one place is that you are indeed rooted to that area. And no matter how bad the soil, to uproot, move, and start anew is costly and inefficient as you essentially have to start all over again. This results in a trap where, even though your hometown may not be terribly kind, perhaps even outright hostile against you, its still better than abandoning the various social and career networks you formed as those networks are efficient and sustain your life (ask yourself why Baghdad still has a population of 7.2 million or Jews stayed in Germany to the point they were being put in cattle cars). And so, unknowingly, at the nave age of 18 I anchored myself to Minnesota and committed to the culture therein.

Unfortunately, Minnesota sucks.

While my favorite memories in life were from Minnesota, they were not the product of being in Minnesota. They were a function of being with my grandpa and other loving people. Fishing, getting ice cream, playing with wind-up toy airplanes, these memories were 100% due to the people around me, not the state of Minnesota. The reality, unfortunately, is that Minnesotans are some of the coldest, fakest, phoniest people in the United States. So much so that reciprocity-seeking college students from Wisconsin call it Minnesota Ice, not Minnesota Nice.

Another factor that skewed my opinion of Minnesota was that my visits there were during summer vacationnot winter. Hanging out with grandpa, fishing from a bridge, with root beer in hand is one of the greatest things a young boy will ever enjoy in Minnesotain July. But if youre unlucky enough to be a security guard on the University of Minnesota campus in January (and I was) you get to patrol in -30F temperatures, deal with anti-freeze freezing, water pipes bursting, and going without the sun for two full months. It is a constant fight against nature to stay alive, and though fun for a child to have a snow day, as an adult it drains your psyche.

And then theres the taxes.

No kid having a root beer float with his grandpa contemplates the tax rates at the state and municipal levels. He doesnt look up property taxes, nor considers income tax brackets. And he doesnt ask about the consequences of the states pro-Somali immigration policy. But if you were nave enough to plant roots here as a college student and establish what career you could on its rocky soil, youll soon find youre in the 6th highest-taxed state, the only state that didnt vote for Ronald Reagan in 1984, and a state that LOATHES successful, hard-working people.

If you have the slightest inkling to be successful, to have any modicum of financial success, or you simply have an ounce of self-respect, you are an idiot for living here. But that point may ultimately be moot if you met the love of your life in college, got married and had kids, bought yourself a house, and inextricably rooted yourself in socialist Minnesota via a mortgage, a family, a career, not to mention, precious little Timmy just HAVING TO attend the same school as his friends. Alas, youre stuck here not only with the punishing weather and fake people, but you get to pay egregious taxes on top of it.

I could go on, but these cumulative traits (the people, the weather, and the taxes) are all key determinants of the amount of happiness, success, accomplishment, and freedom you will enjoy in the environment you live. And while youd think people would assess these things before moving to a town, going off to college, or taking a job out of state, the truth is factors and forces within our lives (that have nothing to do with the aforementioned variables) determine where we choose to live. Sadly, the result is we live lives that are condemned to be a mere fraction of their potential.