Tristen K Collins LPC - Why Emotions Matter: Recognize Your Body Signals. Grow in Emotional Intelligence. Discover an Embodied Spirituality.

Endorsements

'Sometimes you choose the book. Other times, the book chooses you. This book chose me. I needed it. I hope Why Emotions Matter chooses you, too. A life-altering blend of poignant story-telling, thoughtful psychology, and clear neuroscience, all anchored in biblical insight.

Dr. Bruce McNicol , founding president at Trueface; coauthor of The Cure , The Ascent of a Leader , Bo's Cafe; executive producer of The Heart of Man

Why Emotions Matter is a well-crafted guidebook for discovering something much deeper in ourselves. Tristen and Jon not only offer the practical tools needed to forge deeper connections, but they vulnerably share their real journeyhow a rationally minded stoic and an emotionally sensitive clinician are finding deeper marital intimacy through increased emotional health, now powerfully transforming three generations. They model what they teach, making for a most trusted guide.

Celestia and Steven Tracy , founders of Mending the Soul Ministries
Heres your chance to take a big step forward on your journey toward understanding your inner world! This is a marvelously honest, insightful, and practical book about the surprising gift our emotions are when we understand what they signal. Read it!

Ian Morgan Cron , author of The Road Back to You

Tristen and Jon have written a unique and extraordinary book, one that blends the recent findings of psychology with the ancient insights of spirituality, all grounded in a healthy, solidly biblical theology. We all ache for a healthy soul, yet this side of Edenand especially in our modern, frenetic, fast-unraveling worldwe struggle to live in the love, joy, and peace we know Jesus has for us. This book is like a map, or more, a kind, calm, wise guide for the road to life.

John Mark Comer , pastor for teaching at Bridgetown Church and author of The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

I don't remember the last time I read such a consequential book. Jon and Tristen have brilliantly woven theology, psychology, wit, humor, and grace to give us such a desperately needed resource! I immediately thought of ten people I will be buying this book for.

Jefferson Bethke , NYT best-selling author of Jesus > Religion

At the ripe old age of thirty-seven, I keep imagining myself standing outside a high school with a case of copies of this book to hand to every student. If seventeen-year-old Joy had read this book, she would have headed into adulthood with permission to take stock of the why behind her emotions (there were a few) and the what God and science has to say about them. This is a psychology-theology book that is both profound and accessible for any age or stage.

Joy Eggerichs Reed , founder of Punchline Speakers
Why Emotions Matter combines the very best wisdom from a top therapist and a founder of The Bible Project working together with a top editor to give splendid insights into our emotions as a vital part of the whole person. It is a personally vulnerable, pastorally wise book that helps us understand, recognize, and wisely navigate six central emotions. This book is a grace gift to us.

Gerry Breshears, PhD , Professor of Theology at Western Seminary, Portland
Most of us have had moments when our own reactions, thoughts, and feelings surprise or perplex us, and we wonder, Why did I just say or do that? In this wonderfully helpful book, the Collins have given us a practical and profound education in what emotions are and how they can guide us into greater self-awareness. It's an invitation to think psychologically and theologically about the human person so you can offer a healthier and more integrated version of yourself to the people around you.

Tim Mackie , cofounder of The Bible Project and Jessica Mackie

Wow! This book is such a gift. I learned so much about my emotionsnot only what they are but why we have them. The vulnerable stories Tristen and Jon share from their own lives help each emotion pop in color as they provide both a biblical understanding of our emotions (that confronts many popular stereotypes) and best practices from counseling (that are really helpful and practical). I highly recommend Why Emotions Matter ; it will help you live a healthier, fuller life.

Joshua Ryan Butler , pastor at Redemption Tempe; author of The Skeletons in Gods Closet and The Pursuing God
It has long bothered me when people say things like he made an emotional decision. The subtext of that, of course, is that emotions are bad. They get in the way of good, logical decisions. But...aren't emotions part of what makes us human? Would we be better off as robots? Should I be rooting for Skynet in the Terminator movies? Thankfully, Tristen and Jon are here to help. Emotions matter. What I loved more than anything in this book was reading why. Having read this, I wish I could travel back in time and tell myself, it's okay to be angry now or sadness would actually help you here. Let it out, man. I enthusiastically recommend it, which is even better now that I understand what enthusiasm signals.

Michael G. Pacchione , keynote speaker and speaking coach, miketalks.co

WHY EMOTIONS MATTER

Know the Signals of your Body

Grow in Emotional Intelligence

Discover an Embodied Spirituality

Tristen Collins, L.P.C. & Jonathan Collins

with Melissa Binder

Why Emotions Matter

Tristen Collins, L.P.C. and Jonathan Collins,

with Melissa Binder

2019 Beaumont Press

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmited in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permision of the publisher or in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of any licence permitting limited copying issued by the Copyright Licensing Angency.

Unless otherwise identified Scripture quotations are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Other versions used include: The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV) is adapted from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the U.S.A. All rights reserved; and the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright 1989 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Developmental and Line Edit: Melissa Binder

Copy Edit: Darla Hightower

Typesetting: Jonathan Collins

Cover Art: Colors 45 by Jen Ramos

Cover Design: Jonathan Collins

A CIP record for this book is available from the Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Contents

PART 1 - BEGINNING THE JOURNEY

1. THE CASE FOR EMOTIONS

TRISTEN: When Jon and I got engaged in our early twenties, we signed ourselves up for premarital counseling with our pastor and his wife. During one of our early meetings with them, I brought up a recent fight that had gotten a little heated. Jon had used a mean tone to ask a question, and I got upset at the way he spoke to me. Jon insisted tone didnt matter and got irritated with me for changing the subject. I got angry. He angrily insisted he wasnt angry, and, well, things went downhill from there. (Minus the specifics, wed had the same fight dozens of times.)

Oh yes, the pastor replied knowingly. We call that the you-idiot voice. Its the tone I use when I want the other person to feel stupid.

Jon jumped in to defend himself. Tone shouldnt matter, because a disagreement is just a discrepancy between facts, he said. Whoever has the best facts should win the debate. So, how you deliver those factsyour toneisnt the point. If I said two plus two equals four in a mean tone, it doesnt make it less true. Jon had always wanted relationships to work like a logic puzzle, and he believed any puzzle could be solved if everyone involved could just set their emotions aside.