THE LITTLE BOOK OF CONFIDENCE
Copyright Summersdale Publishers Ltd, 2018
With research by Robert Drew
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CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
Everyone could use a confidence boost. Whether you're struggling with daily insecurities or looking to supercharge your self-belief, there are simple and practical steps you can take to improve your mood, soothe your mind and change your life for the better. This book is packed with easy-to-follow tips and encouraging quotes that will help you understand what real confidence is and what you can do today to build yours up and achieve your goals.
You have to believe in yourself when no one else does.
Venus Williams
OUR GREATEST GLORY IS NOT IN NEVER FALLING BUT IN RISING EVERY TIME WE FALL.
Oliver Goldsmith
SEE A MORE CONFIDENT YOU
When starting out on a journey of self-improvement, it can be difficult to see what the end result will be. It's easy to become bogged down in the 'what ifs' a situation brings to mind, and this is where visualisation can help. Sitting in a comfortable chair, in a relaxed position, close your eyes and begin to focus on your breathing. There is no need to breathe more slowly just pay attention to your natural breathing patterns. Next, start to build a picture in your head of how a more confident 'you' would look and act. Where are you? Who is with you? Notice the details and enjoy the feeling of confidence growing from within. While you are working on building your confidence, take this image with you and use it as motivation to become this new, more confident, version of yourself.
WHERE ARE YOU CONFIDENT?
An important question to ask yourself is this: where do you feel most and least confident? This is not just a question of location although for some people, certain places can affect how they feel emotionally. It's more about the areas of your life where you feel most or least at ease when it comes to confidence. Someone may, for instance, feel assured in their professional life, but lack confidence when it comes to personal relationships. Knowing which areas (both physical and emotional) affect your self-belief can help you to build your confidence levels. At first, situations or places that knock your confidence can be avoided if you feel you're already at a low point. Later, you can work on altering the way you perceive these situations using the helpful tips suggested in this book.
CHOOSE YOUR RESPONSE
We all experience lows and crises in our lives, but how we respond to these situations is up to us. When something 'bad' dents our confidence, we can choose to react negatively, or we can opt to remain calm and look for a solution. Often our first reactions are just habits we've fallen into, so it's important to realise that you always have a choice. When faced with a setback, pause for a moment and consciously decide how you would like to respond.
Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.
Charles F. Kettering
KEEP A CONFIDENCE DIARY
To help you on your journey to greater confidence, write down what you're going through and record when your confidence is at its highest or lowest points. Choose a notebook that reflects your personality; whether it's a simple notepad or an illustrated diary, you are more likely to use something you like the look of. Keep it where you will use it by the bed, near your favourite spot on the sofa or wherever you will notice it. The act of writing down how you feel, and what your confidence levels are like from day to day, will help you keep track of the events or situations that knock your self-belief. However, remember to record the high points as well as the lows: the diary will give you something to look back at during darker days to remind you that things will get better.
You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.
Michael Jordan
BE SHOCKING, BE DARING, BE BOLD, BE PASSIONATE.
Jane Porter
GET COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE
Life can make you feel uncomfortable, but this doesn't have to stop you from achieving your goals. In fact, if you can become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable, you'll have the confidence to handle whatever situation comes your way. Unfortunately, most of us avoid discomfort. We live within small, familiar comfort zones that limit what we do in our lives. When you regularly take risks, however, your comfort zone expands. Even taking small steps towards your goals can expand your horizons and make you feel more positive about life. Remember, feeling uncomfortable can be a good sign it means that you're moving forwards and exploring unfamiliar territory, and in return you'll be more open to new people, places, experiences and adventures in your life.
I ALWAYS DID SOMETHING I WAS A LITTLE NOT READY TO DO.
Marissa Mayer
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone .
Neale Donald Walsch
SET GOALS FOR YOURSELF
Goal-setting is the key to success, and therefore to confidence-building. You may want to set small goals at first to help break down bigger tasks into more manageable pieces, or it may be that you have long-term aims that you want to make reality. The most important thing, no matter how big or small the goal, is that it suits your needs, lifestyle and interests. Your goal can be related to any aspect of your life. Do you want to learn to paint? Travel somewhere exotic? Learn a language? Now is the time to start! If you choose to do something because you feel you 'should', or because it is the socially acceptable goal for someone in your current position, the chances are you won't have the motivation to make it all the way. Instead, make sure your aims reflect what you really want; you'll see how much better you work towards them.
