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MacKenzie - Psychopath free: recovering from emotionally abusive relationships with narcissists, sociopaths, and other toxic people

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MacKenzie Psychopath free: recovering from emotionally abusive relationships with narcissists, sociopaths, and other toxic people
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Berkley An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC 375 Hudson Street New York - photo 1
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Berkley

An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC

375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014

Copyright 2015 by Jackson MacKenzie.

Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.

BERKLEY and the B design are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

For more information about the Penguin Group, visit penguin.com.

eBook ISBN: 978-0-698-19021-4

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

MacKenzie, Jackson.

Psychopath free : recovering from emotionally abusive relationships

with narcissists, sociopaths, and other toxic people / Jackson MacKenzie.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-0-425-27999-1

1. Psychological abuse. 2. PsychopathsFamily relationships. 3. Interpersonal relations. I. Title.

RC569.5.P75M33 2015 2015018842

616.89'14dc23

PUBLISHING HISTORY

Berkley trade paperback edition / September 2015

Cover design by Diana Kolsky.

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the author nor the publisher is responsible for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

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No hurt survives for long without our help, she said & then she kissed me & sent me out to play again for the rest of my life.

Brian Andreas, StoryPeople

Contents
Introduction

An Adventure

Finding yourself involved with a psychopath is an adventure, thats for sure. It will open your eyes to human nature, our broken society, and, perhaps most important of all, your own spirit. Its a dark journey that will throw you into spells of depression, rage, and loneliness. It will unravel your deepest insecurities, leaving you with a lingering emptiness that haunts your every breath.

But ultimately, it will heal you.

You will become stronger than you could ever imagine. You will understand who you are truly meant to be. And in the end, you will be glad it happened.

No one ever believes me about that last part. At least, not at first. But I promise you, its an adventure worth taking. One that will change your life forever.

So what is a psychopath? How about a narcissist or a sociopath? Theyre manipulative peoplecompletely devoid of empathywho intentionally cause harm to others without any sense of remorse or responsibility. And despite some differences between each disorder, the bottom line is that their relationship cycles can be predicted like clockwork: Idealize, Devalue, Discard.

Years ago, this cycle had me thinking Id never be happy again. Falling in love had somehow wiped out my entire sense of self. Instead of being joyful and trusting, I had become an unrecognizable mess of insecurities and anxiety.

But life is a lot of fun these daysmostly just running around outside in my bathing suit and eating pizza. And this is all thanks to a lucky Google search that led me to psychopathy, which led me to the friends who saved my life, which led us to cofound a tiny online recovery community, which now reaches millions of survivors every month!

At PsychopathFree.com, we see new members join every single day, always with a seemingly hopeless and all-too-familiar tale. Left feeling lost and broken, they wonder if they will ever find happiness again.

One year later, that person is nowhere to be found.

In his or her place, there is a beautiful stranger who stands tall and helps others out from the shadows. A stranger who takes pride in their own greatest qualities: empathy, compassion, and kindness. A stranger who speaks of self-respect and boundaries. A stranger who practices introspection in order to better conquer their own demons.

So what happened in that year?

Well, a lot of good stuff. So much that I had to write a book. I might be biasedactually, I definitely ambut I think PsychopathFree.com has one of the coolest healing processes out there. We believe in education, open dialogue, validation, and self-discovery. We have a uniquely inspiring user base, full of resilient values and honest friendships.

Yes, friendships. Because this journey is personal, but its also remarkably universal. Whether it be a whirlwind romance, a scheming coworker, an abusive family member, or a life-consuming affair, a relationship with a psychopath is always the same. Your mind is left spinning. You feel worthless and lost. You become numb to the things that once made you happy.

I cannot fix a toxic relationship (because toxic people cannot change), but I can give you a new place to start. And I can promise that you will feel joy again. You will learn to trust your intuition. You will walk this world with the wisdom of a survivor and the gentle wonder of a dreamer.

But first, youll need to forget everything you thought you knew about people. Understanding psychopathy requires letting go of your basic emotional instincts. Remember, these are people who prey on forgiveness. They thrive on your need for closure. They manipulate compassion and exploit sympathy.

Since the dawn of time, psychopaths have waged psychological warfare on othershumiliating and shaming kind, unsuspecting victimspeople who never asked for it; people who arent even aware of the war until its over.

But this is all about to change.

So say farewell to love triangles, cryptic letters, self-doubt, and manufactured anxiety. You will never again find yourself desperately awaiting a text from the person you love. You will never again censor your spirit for fear of losing the perfect relationship. You will never again be told to stop overanalyzing something that urgently needs analysis. You are no longer a pawn in the mind games of a psychopath. You are free.

And now its time for your adventure.

Love,
Jackson

Spotting Toxic People

Your strengthened intuition is the greatest defense against a manipulative person. It is a skill that can never be exploitedand once learned, it will serve you a lifetime.

30 Red Flags

There are a lot of phenomenal studies on the traits and characteristics of psychopaths. A quick Internet search will lead you to them. The red flags in this book are intended to supplement these resources.

So whats different about this list? Well, for one, its specifically about relationships. But its also about you. Each point requires introspection and self-awareness. Because if you want to spot toxic people, you cannot focus entirely on their behaviorthats only half the battle. You must also come to recognize the looming red flags in your own heart. Then you will be ready for anything.

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