Oates - Mending broken branches: when God reclaims your dysfunctional family tree

Elizabeth has written an engaging, practical book that connects us to the grace and power of God and walks us through the journey of personal restoration and mending our family tree.

Kat Lee, host of the Inspired to Action podcast and author of Hello Mornings

Laced with pearls of wisdom born of experience and with practical tools to help others overcome, Mending Broken Branches is a timely gift to those longing for wholeness. Elizabeth Oates mines Gods Word to bring hope, help, and healing to both individuals and families. Thank you, Elizabeth, for sharing your story and your passion for redemption.

Marian Jordan Ellis, author of Stand and founder of Redeemed Girl Ministries

I love how honest and raw Elizabeth is in Mending Broken Branches. She writes like she livesfocused and intentional. Elizabeth has done an amazing job of looking back over her shoulder to deal with the brokenness of her past yet fixating on what lies ahead. In her challenging words she offers great hope for rooting deeply in Christthe only one who mends the soul.

Byron Weathersbee, cofounder of Legacy Family Ministries

Mending Broken Branches: When God Reclaims Your Dysfunctional Family Tree 2018 by Elizabeth Oates

Published by Kregel Publications, a division of Kregel Inc., 2450 Oak Industrial Dr. NE, Grand Rapids, MI 49505.

Published in association with the literary agency of Credo Communications, LLC, Grand Rapids, Michigan, www.credocommunications.net.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwisewithout written permission of the publisher, except for brief quotations in reviews.

Distribution of digital editions of this book in any format via the Internet or any other means without the publishers written permission or by license agreement is a violation of copyright law and is subject to substantial fines and penalties. Thank you for supporting the authors rights by purchasing only authorized editions.

The author and publisher are not engaged in rendering medical or psychological services, and this book is not intended as a guide to diagnose or treat medical or psychological problems. If medical, psychological, or other expert assistance is required, the reader should seek the services of a health-care provider or certified counselor.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations marked CEV are from the Contemporary English Version. Copyright 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the King James Version.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked VOICE are from The Voice. Copyright 2012 by Ecclesia Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-0-8254-4426-5

Printed in the United States of America
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To Brandon, Thank you for helping me mend my broken branches and create a beautiful family tree.

To Cecelia and Corbin, Together, we can mend our broken branches.

As a teenager, I felt completely alone. No one else could possibly understand my life, I thought. So I went to school every day and pretended life was perfect. I played the role of the straight-A student, the cheerleader, and the all-around good kid. I played it so well that no one would have believed me had I told them about the nights I awoke to shouts and screaming, the numerous police visits to our home, or the time I lived in a shelter for women and children.

Divorce is the cancer that has plagued my family tree for generations, but it is not a stand-alone disease. In my family, divorce brought with it a host of vile cousins: addiction, abuse, abandonment, adultery, dishonesty, financial unrest, neglect, and general dysfunction.

I grew up longing for stability, security, and a dad to call my own. While my dreams were never realized in my childhood, God has graciously allowed me to experience them now that I am a wife and mother.

At the wise old age of twenty-four, I married my college sweetheart, Brandon. Today we have five children, three of whom I birthed the old-fashioned wayCarter, Clarey, and Campbell, who are now starting to ask all sorts of embarrassing questions about that processand two of whom we adopted through the foster care systemCeCe, our precious daughter, and her biological brother Corbin. We live in the suburbs, I am a clich soccer mom, and I drive a twelve-passenger van, which has lowered my street cred from hip mom to sellout.

If you are reading this book, chances are were a lot alike (minus the mega-van, hopefully). We both come from dysfunctional families, we both have dreams that will never be realized, and we both want to nurse back to health our ailing family trees.

But you might wonder how you will ever nourish your broken branches and create a healthy marriage or family of your own. You might hear Effie from The Hunger Games mocking you, May the odds be ever in your favor, when deep in your soul you know they are not.

The bad news is that you cannot repair your family tree in your own strengthseeds planted in past generations continue producing fruit in succeeding generations, us and our children. The good news is that God can change us. He loves to defy the odds and refuses to rely on statisticsHe prefers to work with miracles. The God who parted the Red Sea, brought down the walls of Jericho, and came to earth as a hungry, crying baby to save the world is the same God who longs to help you reclaim your family tree.

You might wonder if Mending Broken Branches is the right book for you. Whether a friend or counselor recommended it or your husband not-so-subtly left it on your nightstand, we are all broken in some way. We have all been hurt and damaged by our past. If any of the behaviors or situations below describe your family of origin, you might be the perfect candidate to regenerate your family legacy:

• Abandonment
• Abuse
• Addiction
• Adultery
• Codependency
• Conditional love
• Controlling behaviors
• Criticism
• Dishonesty
• Displaced anger or resentment
• Divorce
• Enabling
• Financial instability
• Inappropriate boundaries
• Incarceration
• Mental illness
• Narcissism
• Neglect
• Suicide
• Trauma
• Unhealthy or excessive conflict

If you are marriedwhether you are two, five, ten, or even twenty years into marriageit is never too early or too late to allow God to help you reclaim your family tree. He longs to bring healing, restoration, and peace into your life, not only for you but also for your husband, your children, and your future generations.