June Hunt - Dysfunctional Family: Making Peace with Your Past

The printed version of this eBook is the Dysfunctional Family: Making Peace with Your Past book, ISBN-13: 9781596369368

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The information and solutions offered in this resource are a result of years of Bible study, research, and practical life application. They are intended as guidelines for healthy living and are not a replacement for professional counseling or medical advice. JUNE HUNT and HOPE FOR THE HEART make no warranties, representations, or guarantees regarding any particular result or outcome. Any and all express or implied warranties are disclaimed. Please consult qualified medical, pastoral, and psychological professionals regarding individual conditions and needs. JUNE HUNT and HOPE FOR THE HEART do not advocate that you treat yourself or someone you know and disclaim any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the information in this resource.

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Dysfunctional Family: Making Peace with Your Past
Copyright 2014 Hope For The Heart
All rights reserved.
Aspire Press, a division of Rose Publishing, Inc.
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DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY

Making Peace with Your Past

JUNE HUNT

• Gives practical advice and Biblical wisdom from June Hunt, a biblical counselor whose award-winning radio program Hope For The Heart is heard on more than 900 radio outlets around the world. For more than 25 years, she has counseled people, offering them hope for todays problems.
• Reveals signs, symptoms, and common characteristics of a dysfunctional family
• Explains how unresolved conflicts in the past often cause children to repeat the dysfunctional behavior of their parents.
• Provides dozens of step-by-step suggestions and practical ways to replace "old mindsets and behaviors" from unhealthy family relationships with God's truth.

Dear friend,

Quite frankly, someone took the fun out of my dys fun ctional family! In truth, my childhood was filled with severely painful secrets thatby virtue of an unspoken code called family loyaltyI was not to tell. And tell, I did not !

My father was a powerful mandouble my mothers agewho maintained three families at the same time. Following the death of his first wife, we moved into his huge house. (Id just turned 12.) Eleven months later, my parents married and sometime after, I began to be called June Hunt. Prior to that, my mother, three siblings, and I convincingly wore the fictitious last name of Wright. (What a play on words!)

Such deceit might seem unthinkable to someone raised differently, but bear in mind: Children grow up believing that whatever they experience is normal (no matter how abnormal). However, their normal isnt normal ! And lacking a frame of reference, they assume everyone else is treated the same way ... at least for a while.

The inevitable question is: What happens when children raised in dysfunctional families grow up and move into the real world? Additionally, do damaged relationship patterns vanish quickly like a porch light in a rearview mirror? The simple answer is No . Instead, its common to carry dysfunction from our family of origin right into new relationshipswith classmates and roommates, employers and employees, friends and family, and a whole new generation of children.

Often this dysfunction surfaces with different lookslike having a victim mentality, always feeling powerless, becoming a people pleaser, or violating ones own values. Gradually, an insidious lie spreads slowly into the heart like cancer: I cant change what I am today because of my unchangeable past.

In absolute honesty, for years I felt powerless. I became a people pleaser, at times saying yes when I should have said no . I sincerely assumed I had no choice. Looking back, I had no idea that these negative patterns were born and bred during my early dysfunctional days.

Clearly, when I was a child I had no choice about much that was wrong. But when I became a young adult, I did have a choice. I could say no , but I did not change. I stayed stuck in those destructive dysfunctional patterns.

Eventually, as I applied what Jesus said, the truth set me free . The apostle Paul said, When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things (1 Corinthians 13:11 NKJV ).

I needed to acknowledge: Im no longer a child. I can changeand I did change. And if I could change, anyone can change!

Regardless of your unchangeable past, you, too, can change . The key thought is found in grasping what it means to be a part of the family of God. The heavenly Father is not a dysfunctional fatherHe is a perfect, nurturing Father.

And when you entrust your life to Christ, not only does He adopt you into His family, He also puts Christ in you! Yes, the Bible reveals that the secret to your success is ... Christ in you, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27).

Christ on the inside changes usfrom the inside out. We no longer have to live feeling powerless, feeling desperate for approval, needing to please people, needing to fix people. Through the power of Christ, dysfunctional patterns can be broken.

Although you cant change your past, you can change your attitude about your past, and you can change your future by becoming the person God created you to be.

If you have experienced the pain of family dysfunction and desire to be made whole, recognize that you are holding the keys to your healinghere within these pages. No matter how troubled your past, no matter how turbulent your present, God has a plan for your future.

Our Lord speaks this truth so clearly, I know the plans I have for you ... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

God promises if you follow His truths for wholeness, you will have a transformed life.

Dont be a prisoner of your past. Ultimately, with the power of Christ in you, your past will never control you.

Yours in the Lords hope,

DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY

Making Peace with Your Past

Cathey Brown knows about dysfunctional families. She has immersed herself into thousands of them.

As an adult child of two alcoholics, Cathey is keenly aware of the sizeable swath of dysfunction that can sweep through families, consuming and crippling them when chemical dependence reigns in a home. Therefore, she has devoted her life to reaching struggling children, teaching invaluable life skills and instilling a sense of significance in them despite the most dysfunctional of families.