Lillian Ahenkan - The Success Experiment: FLEXMAMIs formula to knowing what you really want and how to get it

THE

SUCCESS EXPERIMENT

THE

SUCCESS EXPERIMENT

FLEXMAMIs formula for knowing

what you really want and how to get it

LILLIAN AHENKAN

Contents

This ones for the doers.

Introduction

Introduction

What this intro will teach you

How this self-development book can help you achieve your goals

How to define, understand and improve your self-awareness

How to think critically

What manifesting is (and whether you need to be spiritual to do it properly)

What this intro wont teach you

How to prioritise instant gratification over long-term success

How to make unrealistic vows to increase productivity and decrease procrastination, only to burn out and lose motivation

How to become a different person for the sake of self-betterment (the goal is simply to be a better version of you)

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I dont think theres an easy or magical path to self-betterment. But I do believe there are certain tools, processes and mindsets that can help make the journey a hell of a lot smoother.

This book will show you how to assess and overcome the factors that have been getting in your way and preventing you from getting what you want. And of course, teach you how to achieve your goals. Thats why youre here, right?

I define self-betterment as the process of improving yourself mentally, physically, spiritually or emotionally, in ways that push you closer to a personal goal. Whether that be learning a new skill (carpentry! No? Just me?), diving head-first into a dream career (and hoping you dont drown under the pressure) or packing up everything and travelling the world (first class is preferred, but my budget wont allow for anything more than economy).

What drives people to be better? Why do we bother? What does improving yourself really look like? Your reasons are probably ever evolving big one day and small the next. Maybe youre looking to fill a void, inject some excitement into your existence, or just do something different. Maybe you have a dream that feels

INTRODUCTION

unattainable. Maybe youre looking to take control and start living the life you dream about. These desires change as you change, and transform as you transform, and similarly, the steps you need to take to get to where you want to go wont always be intuitive, clear or straightforward. Unfortunately, theres no one-size-fits-all approach to getting closer to your goals. True self-betterment requires a mindset shift, which then helps you to create unique guidelines, made for you, by you. A good place to start is by ridding yourself of some unhelpful thinking patterns.

As you already know, there are heaps of external barriers to success, including but not limited to your status, society, glass ceilings, your upbringing, the patriarchy, intergenerational trauma, nepotism and all the other structures and experiences that have negatively impacted you on an individual level. How you feel about those barriers, and the way theyve disrupted your journey, is valid and important, but unfortunately, they exist and are out of your control . Take a moment to sit with that thought. It might instinctively make you feel deflated or demotivated but it shouldnt. Learning about how these structures affect you and your approach to life should definitely be a high priority. Start using Google to research, talk to your peers, look within but once thats done, whats next? Do you throw in the towel? Resign yourself to the idea that youll never truly get what you want? Or do you buckle down and give it a red-hot go anyway?

This is your chance to start focusing on the things you can improve, instead of looking towards the negative.

The Success Experiment has a simple-enough premise: through learning, understanding and nip-tucking a few internal factors, like your personality, attitude, beliefs, perspective, habits and resilience, you can cultivate skills which will help you achieve all your goals, to get whatever

The Success Experiment

you want. Although, there are no promises that will be the same now as at the end of the book. These changes wont erase the barriers put in your way, but you may find that they lessen the impact of some of the structures causing havoc in your life. And dont try to tell me youve exhausted all your options, because Ive gathered a books worth of ideas for you to try on for size.

You may be wondering what qualifies me, Lillian Ahenkan (aka FlexMami), to write this experiment. Somewhere between aggressively studying the habits of successful people and trying to will fame and excessive amounts of disposable income into my life, I discovered a gap in the self-help market. Im a huge consumer of self-betterment wisdom myself but, in recent years, many of the books Ive turned to lacked relatability and accessibility for someone my age, and for someone who simply wants the things I do: a sometimes-superficial, realistic and self-sustaining approach to success. I needed a few less references to business models and a bit more pop culture. I needed to be reminded that my wants were valid, even if they werent traditional. Its not that I necessarily want my personal development information to come from a millennial. But I found myself looking for someone to assure me that, even though they didnt know me personally, they had an idea of what I and other people in my generation want and need. That they understood the unique challenges we may be facing. Whos writing for the average person with above-average goals? For people with progressive (and perhaps unconventional) ambitions? Who understands that for some, a decade at university would probably reap benefits, but that others probably prefer to do their learning on Google? The perfect self-betterment book for me would have all the sciency data for legitimacy, but also include just a bit more fun . So I decided to write that book the book I needed that took the best of the conventional but made it my own. Hopefully, it will turn out to be the book some of you need too.