Candace Clark Trinchieri - Dream, Redefined The Struggle and Success Through Infertility as a Woman of Color.

REVIEWS

Dream, Redefined feels like a warm hug from Oprah. Sparkling with candor, resiliency, and audacious truth-telling, Candace Clark Trinchieri shares her extraordinary journey in becoming a mom. Interweaving personal narrative with vibrant life stories from other women of color, this book is a powerful testament for all women, reminding us that we are never alone and we are always enough. I freaking love this book!

-Ellie Knaus | Atomic Moms podcast

A bold, insightful, and illuminating look into navigating infertility as a woman of color. Candace Clark Trinchieri brilliantly weaves together her journey and the experiences of minority women whove been faced with fertility struggles, undergone reproductive technologies, and grieved pregnancy losses. In a book you wont soon forget, she delivers a powerful and much-needed voice for those whose stories are often overlooked. This game-changing book will simultaneously make you laugh out loud and shed tears of resonance, as you revel in narratives that deeply connect to your own experience or those you love. A must read.

-Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. | Author of I Had a Miscarriage: A Memoir, a Movement

For generations, women of color have gone through life dealing with pain and suffering alone and nowhere to tell their stories authentically. Society has attempted to silence those stories for far too long. Just as my podcast provides a safe space for truthful storytelling, Dream, Redefined dares to bring change. -Monique Farook | Infertility and Me podcast

Dream, Redefined highlights voices of women of color, yet this is a book for all women struggling with infertility. The bold, vulnerable stories generously shared here would have made my isolating experience (filled with years of shame and pain) a bit more bearable as I navigated through loss after loss, and challenge after challenge. In short, its the book for which I had been searching and never found.

-Jessica Weinstock | The B(e)ARING All Project

2021 Golden Brick Road Publishing House Inc.

Trade Paperback Edition

Copyright 2021 Golden Brick Road Publishing House

Copyright 2021 Candace Clark Trinchieri

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book can be scanned, distributed, or copied without permission. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher at - except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

The author owns the copyright of their original work including writing and illustrations, and has made every effort to ensure the accuracy of the information within this book was correct at time of publication. The author does not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from accident, negligence, or any other cause.

Every effort has been made to trace copyright holders and to obtain their permission for the use of any copyright material. The publisher apologizes for any errors or omissions or possible errors or omissions, and would be grateful if notified of any corrections that should be incorporated in future reprints or editions of this book.

The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

Published in Canada for Global Distribution by Golden Brick Road Publishing House Inc. Printed in North America.

ISBN: paperback: 9781989819005, ebook: 9781989819012

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Book orders:

Prologue
Before We Begin

Chapter One Infertility:
Why is it so Hard to Get Knocked Up?

Chapter Two The Diagnosis:
Why is this Happening to Me?

Chapter Three Treatment:
What Will it Take to Make a Baby?

Chapter Four Pregnancy & Pregnancy After Infertility:
What Can I Expect Now That I am Expecting?

Chapter Five Miscarriage:
Why is My Body Betraying Me?

Chapter Six Birth:
The Day Weve Been Waiting for

Chapter Seven Inner Peace:
Finding Your Peace of Mind

Chapter Eight Resolve:
Moving On, Finding Peace, Letting Go

Chapter Nine Being an Ally:
Providing Love and Support Without Being a Jerk

Epilogue
One Last Thing

For my parents,

who despite all evidence to the contrary, believe that I am the perfect daughter.

For Tommaso,

who never let me stop believing.

For Max,

who makes my life beautiful every day in every way.

For all the sons and daughters lost before I had the chance to kiss them goodnight.

Everything might not be OKAY for you right now and thats OKAY.

-Unknown

I nfertility is tough. Anyone who says otherwise is probably trying to sell you something and its most likely an overpriced miracle cure. Absolutely nothing about infertility is easy or fair. I was thirty-eight, newly married, and finally at a point in my life when I was ready to start my family. Everything had fallen into place and having a child was going to be the cherry on top of the pie of my life. So, how did everything that felt so right go so wrong, so quickly? Finding out I was infertile threw me into a tornado that spun my life out of my control. When the storm spat me out, I had a child, but my body and spirit were bruised and bore the scars of two major surgeries, nine In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) attempts, an egg donor, a failed attempt at surrogacy, countless miscarriages, and the mountain of red-tape and paperwork required for adoption. Having a baby was not as easy as they warned me it was going to be in high school. Nothingabsolutely nothingseemed or felt natural in the pursuit of making a baby.

I wont pretend that I am an expert on everything about infertility; I dont have all the answers. This isnt going to be a medical book or journal, full of facts, figures, or statistics. This is not a book about the hows and whys of infertility; it wont neatly wrap up with a bow about how to get pregnant and have a child. This is a book about women. Specifically, its about women of colortheir experience, perspective, struggle, and, most importantly, their success in finding peace no matter where their journeys ended up. Like most of us, I am only an expert in my experience. The moment I discovered I was infertile, I wasnt just sad, I was angry. I was so pissed off that my body didnt work the way it was supposed to work and it felt like I had no one to point the finger at but myself. I will be honest: it was pure, unfiltered anger that drove me into all my advocacy efforts. I became involved with RESOLVE, The National Infertility Association, first as an Ambassador and Co-Chair of the Southern California Walk of Hope. I contributed to training hundreds of volunteer advocates for the annual RESOLVE Advocacy Day in Washington, DC as the National Vice-Chair of Policy and Education. I spoke to congressional and Senate leadership about expanding infertility coverage and the Adoption Tax Credit. Back home in Los Angeles, I co-hosted the Infertility Warriors monthly support group (open to all, but geared to women of color) with the amazing Tomiko Frasier Hines. I did all this while actively going through IVF. I remember being stopped at airport security on a trip to advocate in Washington, DC: the estrogen patches strapped around my stomach and waist looked bomb-like to security. I may also be one of the few people who has shot up fertility meds in the bathroom of a US Senate building between meeting with Senate and congressional staffers, but I cant be certain. I was a bat out of hell for those first few years and it was the anger that fueled me. Now, I think that a lot of the anger wasnt just for myselfit was also because I never wanted any other woman to go through what I did.