Ayodeji Awosika - Real Help: An Honest Guide to Self-Improvement

Copyright 2019 by Ayodeji Awosika.

All rights reserved. This book is protected by copyright. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including as photocopies or scanned-in or other electronic copies, or utilized by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the copyright owner.

Printed in the United States of America.

Interior Design by FormattedBooks.com

Contents

I know what youre thinking right now.

Youre thinking to yourself Why did I buy another one of these books?

Youve been here before.

After you read the Amazon description for a self-help book that promised to change your life, you bought the book, and immediately got buyers remorse right after.

You are going to want to object to everything this book has to say because youve read books like this before. But at the same time, you do want your life to change.

In the back of your mind, youre hoping this book is different. Youre tired of living the way youve lived it, up to this point. Maybe you want a new career, a sense of purpose and meaning, higher self-esteem, better relationships, or all of the above. Maybe you dont know exactly what you want, but you know something has to change.

Most importantly, you want to get off the advice treadmill. You dont want to keep buying books like this.

You want a book that actually works so you can live your best life and start accomplishing your dreams.

Thats what this book is about. I changed my life by using self-improvement. Like you, I went through the process of reading books, taking courses, and repeating the information.

The only difference between you and me?

I came out on the other side and became successful. I tried the strategies and got them to work.

After spending years studying the game of self-improvement, I realized a lot of it was BS.

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Changing your life isnt easy. Taking shortcuts wont work. Taking advice from people just looking to make a buck off you is a great way for you to have nothingand for them to get everything.

That being said, there is a form of self-improvement that works.

On the path to changing my life, a handful of genuine and smart teachers guided me. They didnt bullshit me. They made no promises and told the truth about what it took to be successful. No four-hour work weeks, money-making schemes, or six-week shortcuts to success. I took information from quality sources and used it to change my life over the course of years.

Before we talk about how to become successful, its important to define the word.

What Is Success?

Ah, the S word. Im probably the 1,532,982,367th to write a book about success. If Im attempting to provide a definition of the word thats actually useful, then its best to explain what I mean with this nebulous term.

Lets start with what success isnt .

See, many books try to paint a picture of success based on outcomes that probably wont ever happen for you, and premises that have more to do with what other people think than how you truly feel.

Heres a list of classic success definitions were not aiming for here:

• Millions in the bank. Maybe youll become a millionaire in your lifetime, but you wont learn how to do it from this book because ... Im not a millionaire . Dont get me wrong, money is an important part of life, but not for the glamour of being rich itself.
• Keeping up with the Joneses. In short, Im not trying to help you gain hollow status amongst everyone you know. Like money, status is important when its rooted in something you enjoy doing. I enjoy my status as a writer because I love writing, but Im not trying to make the whole world admire me for being a writer. Get it?
• Perfection . Im not trying to turn you into this success robot who wakes up at 5 a.m. every day, meditates for six hours, works out, journals, says affirmations, feeds the homeless, and makes passive income every single day.

Success means something different to everyone, but here is what I am aiming for:

• Freedom. Maybe you wont become a millionaire, but having the time and resources to do what you want is something you can achieve. The end goal isnt to have a mansion, but to have the time to do the things youd do if you had more freedom to.
• Getting good at something. If you get really good at something you have a natural talent, skillset, and taste for, youll experience the joy of getting lost in your work. Even at the hobby level, gaining competence in a skill you align with will make you happier.
• Earned confidence and pride. You dont want to seek approval and validation from others. You want the type of confidence and pride that comes from being proud of the person you see in the mirror, regardless of what others think. To do that, though, youll have to earn these feelings. You cant simply conjure them up from thin air.
• Mental, spiritual, and physical health. Pursuing a life of purpose tends to make these areas better. And failing to do so makes them worse. Picture our society. Many people are overstressed, overworked, underwhelmed. When you become a free and autonomous person who is confident in a skill they enjoy, your overall health tends to grow in all these areas.
• The ability to think for yourself. As youll see throughout the book, Ill talk about many of the lies youve been fed, the BS to avoid, and the mental blindspots you have that keep you from living whatever type of life you want to live.

Success by my definition involves more unlearning than it does learning. The end goal isnt to get you to think exactly like me, but to equip you with frameworks you can use to make better decisions for yourself.

Does someone like Bill Gates fit this definition? Sure. But you dont have to reach that level of success to live a good life. You can achieve this life in many different ways. You may find it running a business or project you love (even if it doesnt make six figures or millions), finding a great job with a flexible schedule, or using a combination of work and hobbies to live a fulfilling creative life. And the list goes on.

In the following chapters, Ill help you discover the variables that matter most to you so you can create a combination that works, and a plan to follow through with achieving it.

What You Can Expect

Ive read over 100 books, written more than 500 blog posts, and spent thousands of hours trying to figure out the process to living a good life.

The kicker? I dont have the exact answer or process.

I cant guarantee you anything, but isnt that a little bit refreshing?

Arent you tired of getting fed empty promises? Arent you ready to just face some harsh realities and be presented with your true options up front, so you can find ways to deal with them? Dont you want to hear about a self-improvement process thats devoid of the filler and fluff that do nothing more than pump you up for a short period of time?

Welcome to Real-Help . In this book, Ive distilled everything Ive learned over the past five yearsskills, tools, and insights that have helped me to:

• find my passion (although Ill explain the pitfalls of trying to find it).
• quit crappy jobs I hated.
• build a six-figure writing career (spoiler alert: it took five years).
• believe in myself to the point where Ill never quit.
• get to spend each day of my life doing whatever the hell I want.

Keep in mind, these are just the shiny objects and benefits. Thinking of these alone wont sustain you. You already know this. So what will?

You need to understand how inspiration and motivation actually work. Youll need to recognize the inevitable pitfalls in your way, and how to avoid them. Most importantly, youll need to learn how to spot bullshit and lies, both from society at large and the ones you tell yourself.