Andrew Ferebee - The Porn Pandemic: A Simple Guide To Ending Pornography And Masturbation Addiction And Getting Back Into The Real World

My Personal Story

This story is hard for me to write and share with you. But I feel that if you understand my story, then youll connect with me at a deeper level and feel more comfortable finishing this book. That is my hope.

In the late 90s, AOL dial-up Internet had just been installed in my home. I was 11 years old and was completely fascinated with what one could do online. I searched countless topics of interest, read the news, listened to music and played video games.

And the most fun part was AOL Instant Messenger, where I could chat with my friends from school and even the girls I had crushes on. I spent hours online talking to friends and girls until midnight.

I didnt realize it at the time, but I was developing a social crutch because I preferred to talk to friends online rather than on the phone or even face-to-face. When I saw at school the girls I had spent hours talking to the night before, I wouldnt have anything to say and would awkwardly end the interaction as quickly as possible.

I didnt know how to socialize in the real world and reverted back to hiding behind the computer to connect with women. I had Internet girlfriends who I would ask out online, and we would have Internet dates together. We rarely connected in the real world. It actually seemed more fun online than in the real world because I could think about what I was going to say next and always seemed to have the right thing to say to make her laugh.

When I talked to women I felt so excited, and I felt a rush of sexual energy every time a girl would respond to me. But I was so young and didnt know what to do with the energy.

I remember one day when my family was gone, and I was home alone, I searched hot girls sex, and one of the first porn sites I ever clicked on was Lesbians.com, which was full of pictures of young naked women. I remember not being comfortable looking at other men but strictly women on women, and I wasnt interested in any sort of penetration with toys just women in the nude kissing each other.

Over time I developed an entire list of porn websites that Id browse late at night when my family was asleep.

By the time I entered high school I had developed the ability to download just about any video online and knew who the hottest porn stars were that year. I watched penetration porn videos but wasnt comfortable yet watching all sex positions. I only enjoyed missionary, cowgirl, and was starting to learn to like doggystyle.

Anytime the porn scene would go to anal, I quickly closed the window. Anytime there was any degradation to a woman, I didnt like that either, and I immediately stopped watching it and sometimes lost the sexual urge to finish. It just felt wrong to me at the time.

While my friends in high school were dating women and going to prom with dates, I found myself not caring much because I was fulfilled with online porn. Now, I didnt know it at the time, but I was developing a relationship with porn instead of women in the real world. As a result, I missed out on important social skills that could be applied later in life.

By the time I entered college, I was watching every type of porn scene, and even the scenes that once disgusted me the heavier scenes started to arouse me. I often watched porn in my dorm room in between classes and found it increasingly difficult to connect with women on campus.

I ended up dating a woman who lived next door to me in college who would soon become my girlfriend and first real love. I remember I loved her so much, but I didnt know how to show it. What she saw was a hyper sexual man who always wanted to have sex wherever we were: At parties, at the beach, on campus, in the movie theatre, or in the back seat of my car.

Every time I was with her, I had a goal of having sex, as if being in a relationship was a license to having sex any time I wanted. If she were on her period, I got a little upset and settled for a handjob or blowjob. There was no way I wasnt going to get something from her if I was spending time with her.

Looking back, I can see why she felt I was emotionally unavailable and the relationship ended after a few years. It makes perfect sense to me now, but back then it was all I knew.

At first, I thought the relationship ended maybe because I was broke and didnt provide enough for her, that I wasnt good looking enough since she was very pretty, or that I wasnt alpha enough and I needed to become more of a dominant man.

The truth is none of those were the reasons why she left. She left because I wasnt there emotionally. I was just there physically with my penis out every time we got together. I learned that for a relationship to thrive, both man and woman must be physically and emotionally engaged in the relationship. Not one or the other.

The reality was I loved her so much but I simply didnt know how to love a woman. I only knew how to have sex and treat women like objects rather than developing a deep intimate connection with a woman that could last.

I was trying my best to be a good boyfriend, but having watched thousands of porn scenes and seeing women constantly want men to have sex with them and ejaculate on them, I was ill-equipped to be a good boyfriend at this stage in my life. I had let porn become my role model of how to treat women in the real world, even those I loved.

Enough was enough. After this relationship, I committed to improving my dating life and becoming a better man with women over the next several years. I went from a hopeless guy going through a tough breakup to dating many women and engaging in much healthier relationships.

What I learned on that journey was written in my Amazon best-selling book: The Dating Playbook For Men: A Proven 7 Step System To Go From Single To The Woman Of Your Dreams .

Also, my story of how I was able to recover from my painful breakup became my second Amazon best-selling book: The Break Up Manual For Men: How To Recover From A Serious Break Up, Become Stronger And Get Back Into Life .

Having found more purpose and meaning in my life and sharing those lessons on my blog and top ranked podcast www.knowledgeformen.com , I have significantly reduced my porn and masturbation habits.