Lindsay C. Gibson - Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence

Lindsay Gibsons book is treasure trove of golden nuggets studded with practical insights, wisdom, and inspiration written in bite-size pieces by a serious, experienced professional who has a deep understanding of the human condition. As the child of two emotionally immature (EI) parents, I felt the book was a window into my soul reaching in, offering me a hand and lifting me up.

Arlene Ingram , retired PK-12 school counselor with thirty-five years experience; and former president of the Virginia Counselors Association, and of Potomac and Chesapeake Association for College Admissions Counseling

Lindsay has done it again! Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is the loving advice and instruction that those of us with these types of parents needed but never got. Lindsay offers compassion with application for guiding us on how to reparent ourselves, while throughout, reminding us that we deserve to have better lives! This book is another Lindsay Gibson must-have in everyones library.

Ame Quiriconi , host of the One Broken Mom podcast, and author of The Fearless Womans Guide to Starting a Business

Gibson has written another powerful book that captures the readers interest with her genuine concern that the reader has the best possible life. Although she addresses those primarily affected by EI parents, friends, and families, this book has suggestions and insights that everyone can relate to and learn from. I myself read it two times as a retired therapist, and will certainly suggest it to other colleagues and friends.

Judy K. Snider, MSW/ACSW , coauthor of I Love You, Be Careful a Moms Choice Award winner

You are worth it, you are enough, you are important, and you deserve to be loved no matter what you have felt in your relationship with your parents. With the guidance of this book, start the healing process by taking care of yourself so you can grow and gain confidence. The only relationship you will be in until the end of your life is the one you create with yourself.

Joanna Gutral, psychologist at SWPS University in Warsaw, Poland; certified cognitive behavioral psychotherapist; psychoeducation leader; and podcaster at Kind Mind

A gift to yourself all packaged into a beautifully written book. Lindsay Gibson gives you the skills, and sparks of insight you never knew you needed, to help you along on your journey toward living a happier, more fulfilling life.

Tara Bixby, LPC , founder of courageously.u, and host of The Courageously.u Podcast

This book is essentially about love. Lindsay Gibson speaks directly to the reader with healing empathy and love, offering a guide for compassionate and healthy love of self and others. She shares her wisdom in short passages filled with empowering strategies for self-care and hilarious metaphors. Her gems of insights will evoke reactions from rollicking laughter to grief, but ultimately will inspire you with hope and courage.

Julia C. Smith, PhD , licensed clinical psychologist

Like a warm, gentle, and caring mother who sits us down regularly to teach us how to live a good life, Lindsay Gibson reparents us with this well-written, intelligible book. Self-care is one of the most difficult but rewarding of tasks for the survivor of EI parents, yet Gibson has managed to unfold every layer of it in a way that makes us understand and want to love ourselves.

Andrea Mathews , therapist, speaker, and author of Letting Go of Good

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

NEW HARBINGER PUBLICATIONS is a registered trademark of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Copyright 2021 by Lindsay Gibson

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Sara Christian; Interior design by Michele Waters-Kermes; Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer; Edited by Jennifer Holder

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Gibson, Lindsay C., author.

Title: Self-care for adult children of emotionally immature parents : honor your emotions, nurture your self, and live with confidence / Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD.

Description: Oakland : New Harbinger Publications, 2021.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021013406 | ISBN 9781684039821 (trade paperback)

Subjects: LCSH: Self-confidence in adolescence. | Self-help techniques for teenagers. | Adult children of dysfunctional families--Mental health. | Emotional maturity. | Dysfunctional families--Psychological aspects.

Classification: LCC BF575.S39 G523 2021 | DDC 158.1--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021013406

To my sister, Mary Carter Babcock, who has always seen the best in me.

Contents

Introduction:

Life Skills You Were Never Taught

This is a book to keep you company on your journey to self-discovery. Pick it up as a reminder to self-engage whenever you feel pressured to ignore your own well-being. If you had emotionally immature (EI) parents, you were probably expected to put them first. Nurturing and being true to yourself are not things that EI parents usually teach their children. Your parents vulnerabilities and distortions, which I describe in my previous books, meant they couldnt show you how to sense and feel your way to a solution that is just right for you and the circumstances. So I compiled these short pieces of insight to help you remember what you need to feel whole, confident, and to have your best possible life.

This collection is designed to put you on a quest for self-awareness and fulfillment, to encourage certain attitudes and practices to make life easier and more enjoyable. I wrote these pieces to give you encouragement whenever you need it. The insights will tap that deep vein of authenticity that courses through you so you can be more yourself than ever before. I want you to feel you are back in touch with yourself, honoring your emotions, as you recall truths about yourself that may have been misplaced. Theres no denying the thrill that comes when reading something that brings back a truth that had been lost from awareness. May you experience a spark of recognition as you read each piece, a click that says, Thats me or Yes, I knew that even though youre reading it for the very first time.

These pieces on self-care, relationships, and how to approach problems will be the reminders you need to nurture your emerging self, to honor your inner world, and to protect yourself emotionally. In other words, they will encourage you to be true to yourself first.

In previous books, I have explained the phenomenon of emotional immaturity instructively, teaching and guiding in a linear fashion. But please read this collection of short pieces, meant to spark insight, with a looser approach. Read them as you are inspired to, for brief, hopefully enjoyable observations and reflections that aim to give you confidence in managing your greatest challenges. Well also try out new ideas and different approaches to help move you into harmony with your authentic self. This inner self is where you find peace, happiness, and deep self-confidence. It makes you feel good about yourself, and youll realize that life and its challenges have meaning and messages for your growth. These insight-pieces are grouped into sections on taking care of yourself, fostering relationship health, and confidently coping with lifes challenges. These three areas are the gateways to a happier, more fulfilling life.