Gary Thomas - When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

Toxic people can drain our lives, rob us of our joy, and worse. Unfortunately, many of us dont have the skills to address these individuals in the best way possible. We know we are to love, forgive, and be patient, but those arent Gods only solutions. Gary Thomas has done a masterful job of showing us how and when to confront in the right way, how to guard ones heart, and, most importantly, when to walk away. His comprehensive treatment of the many times Jesus chose to leave a person or a situation provides overwhelming encouragement in learning to love well, truth well, and behave well. Highly recommended.

John Townsend, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of the Boundaries series and People Fuel , founder of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling

Gary Thomas has done it again. Hes given us a biblically grounded pathway toward healthy livingespecially in our relationships. In When to Walk Away , he provides the steps we all need in managing toxic people and high-maintenance relationships. Its encouraging, practical, and desperately needed. Dont miss out on this life-changing message.

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

This book is a must-read. There is no more confusing or pressing question for many of us than this one, and Gary Thomas brilliantly, sensitively, and pastorally gives us a path forward. Im grateful for this book, and Ill be buying ten copies and handing them out to many!

Jefferson Bethke, New York Times bestselling author of Jesus Religion and To Hell with the Hustle

Toxic relationships leave us bewildered and drained, and we all experience them, some closer to home than others. If you are wondering what to do next and unsure of what God has to say, Gary Thomas has written this practical and helpful book for you.

Jennie Allen, author of Nothing to Prove and founder and visionary of IF:Gathering

Grace and forgiveness are critical components of the Christian life. But the Bible also offers instruction for those times and situations when we encounter people who are so destructiveto individuals and to the work of Gods kingdomthat our wisest course of action is to just walk away. Gary Thomas offers solid, biblical counsel for those who are grappling with the destructive influence of a toxic person.

Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family

Toxic people can be a powerful and destructive force that can create a great deal of harm. As a mental health specialist, I appreciate the carefully crafted wisdom in these pages. You will find biblical truth backed by specific strategies to keep yourself healthy and prevent you from becoming a victim of controlling behavior. I highly recommend When to Walk Away . You will find relief and hope in these pages.

Gregory L. Jantz, PhD, CEDS, founder of The Center A Place of HOPE

Although we are called to love unconditionally, God does not require us to persevere in relationships that are toxic, dangerous, and soul crushing. This is especially good news for individuals in destructive marriages. The chapter on toxic marriage is so helpful, not just for suffering individuals, but for well-meaning people who often misapply biblical passages to encourage those in toxic marriages to keep enduring for Jesus. God does not value the sanctity of marriage more than the safety and sanity of the people in it.

Leslie Vernick, speaker, relationship coach, and bestselling author of The Emotionally Destructive Relationship

As a Christian woman, Im often too worried about being nice. Gary Thomas shows us that its not about doing what others want but what God wants. Dont let someone else derail Gods purpose for you! As Gary says, sometimes you have to walk away from something to walk toward what God really wants.

Sheila Wray Gregoire, marriage and sex blogger at ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com

ZONDERVAN

When to Walk Away

Copyright 2019 by The Center for Evangelical Spirituality

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Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

ISBN 978-0-310-34676-0 (hardcover)

ISBN 978-0-310-34681-4 (international trade paper edition)

ISBN 978-0-310-35599-1 (audio)

ISBN 978-0-310-34679-1 (ebook)

Epub Edition August 2019 9780310346791

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There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. PROVERBS 18:24When youre writing about toxic relationships, youre reminded of the healthy relationships that help keep you grounded, especially in ministry.God has graciously provided several ministry-oriented brothers in arms who have with their wisdom and experience helped me pursue Gods best in life and ministry.It is to these four men I dedicate this book:Dr. Mike Dittman, Dr. Steve Wilke, Mike Woodruff, and Kevin Harneyand no, Steve, these names arent listed in any significant order, so dont take any offense.

CONTENTS

Greg was sorely confused.

His coworker Aaron claimed to be a Christian, yet he seemed to relish attacking others. Aaron specialized in creating offensive nicknames for coworkers and others outside the office. He policed the entire office, even people who didnt report to him, making sure they adhered to a policy he had lobbied to get passed. Aaron was a master sleuth at uncovering personal secrets and launching them into a juicy gossip chain. He blatantly lied about coworkers words and actions to pit one person against another so he could play both sides as a comforting defender.

One coworker had enough of this and called him out on it, and Aaron convinced the boss to lay her off, which created a terrifying wall of protection against anyone else who thought about standing up to him.

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