Melody Godfred - The ABCs of Self Love: A Simple Guide to Loving Yourself, Reclaiming Your Worth, and Changing Your Life

The ABCs of Self Love copyright 2022 by Melody Godfred. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

Andrews McMeel Publishing

a division of Andrews McMeel Universal

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www.andrewsmcmeel.com

ISBN: 978-1-5248-7696-8

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021943265

Editor: Patty Rice

Art Director: Julie Barnes

Designer: Leanne Aranador

Production Editors: Elizabeth A. Garcia and Thea Voutiritsas

Production Manager: Cliff Koehler

Ebook Production: Jasmine Lim

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Dedication

This book is dedicated to your true self.

Of all the things

Ive ever learned,

loving myself changed things the most.

I wrote this guide to transform self love from an ambiguous goal into a daily practice. You can commit to reading one letter a day or week or you can read through the entire book in one sitting. You can go through it sequentially or use it as an oracle: open up to random pages to receive the message you need.

Remember: through this book, the gift you are giving to yourself is YOU. Enjoy the journey.

With love,

Melody Godfred

Writing Prompts

Grab a pen and journal to follow along. Writing prompts are indicated by a pencil illustration:

A: AUTHENTICITY

To love yourself, you must first know yourself, which is why authenticity is so critical. When were born, we are the truest version of ourselves. As we grow up, we accumulate a layer of dust: the dust of expectations, of responsibilities,of conformity, of trauma, of pain. This dust dulls our essence, our most authentic selves.

Take a moment to think back to your childhood self. That authentic, dust-free version who made choices from a place of love instead of fear, and instinct instead of learned behaviors. Once you discover that authentic self, imagine abandoning the dust, the stories, the self-imposed limiting behaviors and thoughts that have kept your authenti self hidden.

That person youre envisioning right now?

Thats your ME. Its time to let your ME lead again.

And if it is painful for you to connect to your childhood, honor who you are today: because your resilience is proof that your authentic self is powerful beyond measure and your ME is ready to shine.

Find a picture from your childhood (or from today if you dont want to revisit your childhood), and use it as the home screen image on your phone. When you see it, reconnect with your most authentic self. Remember who you are, beneath the dust of shame, guilt, pain, regret, and fear.

As you go through your day, ask yourself:

What would my ME do?

Write a bit about what happens when you let your ME lead:

B: BOUNDARIES

Boundaries arent just about drawing a line. They are about knowing yourself well enough to know where to draw the line, and having the confidence and self worth to honor it. No two people have the same needs. A boundary ensures that both you and the people in your life know what your needs are so you can both honor them. Not sure if someone has crossed one of your boundaries? Check in with your body. When something happens and in response you feel off, chances are a boundary was crossed.

Since your needs are constantly evolving, no boundary is ever absolute. You have to consistently check in with yourself and see if the boundary is still accurate. In order for a boundary to exist in the world, you must communicate it, which takes vulnerability. If youre anything like me, confrontation is highly uncomfortable. Communicating a boundary may require a small confrontation, but having a boundary is what alleviates the need for big confrontations down the road. Setting a boundary can be intimidating, but ultimately, it is both exhilarating and freeing. The first time you set one, communicate it, and stick to it, youll see.

Practice setting boundaries. For each category, set a boundary and then communicate it: friends, family, love, work, play. Keep in mind: boundaries arent just about saying no; theyre also about saying yes!

Here are some examples:

Friends: No engaging with negative or toxic people

Family: No saying yes purely out of obligation

Love: No important conversations via text

Work: No checking work emails after 7 p.m.

Play: Yes to fun experiences with people I enjoy

Your turn.

Friends:

Family:

Love:

Work:

Play:

Now that you have set some boundaries, write about how your life has changed.

C: The Four cs

Clarity, commitment, creation & Community

When choosing a diamond, there are four Cs: cut, clarity, color, and carat weight. When it comes to choosing yourself, there are four Cs, as well, that together embody your self love journey.