Marcio Felix - Practicing self-esteem: The art of making peace with you

Practicing self-esteem

The art of making peace with you

Marcio Felix

Don't suffer for what you can't change

Many people waste immense energy trying to change what is out of their control. They suffer unnecessarily and are stuck in an eternal circle of suffering because of denying their own reality. To suffer less it is necessary that you have in your mind a clear separation between what you can change and what you cannot. Focus on what you can change and trust the rest to God. Understand that there are things out of your reach and that spending energy on them is a tremendous waste of time, a useless effort that will make you more and more tired and will not get you anywhere! For example, you cannot change the climate, or the past, or the personality of other people, or the traffic, just to name a few. Why waste your energy on something that is beyond your reach? It will be a huge waste of time and energy, which could be used in something useful. Feeling angry, revolting, crying or complaining will not change the world outside. When you find something out of your control in life, you don't need to suffer too much because of that because that suffering will not bring any results! Accept reality as it is, without denying it, stop torturing yourself because you can't change it and focus on the things you can change. This will be an intelligent use of energy. If the energy we expend is not unlimited (a lot of people want to deceive themselves by saying it is), what's the use of spending it on something you can't change? Here is an important tip: Most of the things that are under your control are located within yourself and not outside. Get busy with what you can change and forget about the rest! Do what you can, and don't waste time on other things. Time is the most important thing you have. God made the universe in perfect balance, everything follows a divine order that tends to perfection. If you think there is something in the world that is out of order, it is because you are not looking at the whole scene, but a small detail of it. From the moment you understand this, the important thing now is that you do your job well and everything else will tend to balance. Is it clear to you? Focus on whats up to you. Leave others alone and don't want to meddle in what doesn't directly concern you. Do not give your opinion if it has not been asked and do not worry about what others do with their lives. If you leave them alone, the chance that they will leave you alone will be even bigger. Don't try to convince anyone of anything. To try to convince the whole world that your opinion is the right one is a useless fight! At the end of a discussion like this, the result is that each one will continue with their own opinion and the only difference will be that after that you will win an enemy. What advantage is there in that? Whoever talks too much has his word devalued. Wait to give your opinion when asked, and you will see how others will stop what they do to listen to you. Many people who complain that they do not have the attention of others do not value their own speech, wasting words unnecessarily, when they could save them for the right time. Don't be a person who stretches too much when speaking. This tires listeners. Get straight to the point, but without having to, therefore, be cold.

Too much thinking paralyzes

If you are a person who spends its time imagining the many possibilities of something going wrong, spending your energy imagining the various possibilities of a supposed future, thinking about the folds of the multiple possible events, you are wasting vital energy with a fantasy! These things, which you spend too much time imagining, are nowhere outside your head. Stop feeding those unnecessary fantasies that only steal your peace and tire you without having done anything, in practice, real. Thinking about the future is important, having some kind of planning is fundamental, but everything you do in excess, at some point turns against you. People who think too much live tired without knowing why. Some people who spend too much time thinking too much and acting too little. When you have an important question in your life, stop, ponder, decide and act. Don't keep asking yourself whether the decision you made is right or wrong. Make up your mind and do it! Remember that before you act, you have thought a lot and decided, you don't have to spend all the time hitting within yourself what you have already decided, questioning yourself all the time and making your action weaker . Actions that you question yourself lose strength. Once you have decided on something, do not take your decision apart within yourself. Focus on the present. If your decision made you wrong, apologize to anyone who needs it and fix it. No more lamenting, ruminating, torturing yourself with something that has already happened. That past only exists inside your head. The only thing that exists now is the present, nothing more. As for the future, think about it a little and then go back to reality. Spending mental energy on fantasies that don't exist is another way to waste time. And time (along with health and life) is the most important thing for you to enjoy. Since time never comes back, avoid wasting it with useless things.

You will never be able to meet everyone's expectations

This is a truth that may bother some, but it is necessary to accept: It is impossible to please everyone. Impossible! If you really understand that, you will achieve a lot of inner peace as you will get rid of the anxiety that takes care of those who think they will be able to please everyone. Never in history has anyone been able to do it, so you won't be able to. The practical consequence of this statement is as follows: no matter how hard you try, people will find a way to criticize you in any way, no matter how hard you try. So, don't waste your time trying to please everyone and do what YOU want. If you do something in order to please someone, do it keeping in mind that this is your decision and that you will not be able to charge anyone for it. There are those who do things for others hoping to make them their debtors. Don't be like that! Learn to position yourself safely and you will see that you will be admired. Remember, since in the end, someone is going to criticize anyway, so let it be at least a complaint about a decision YOU chose to make, not others. Whoever lives with the intention of pleasing everyone is a slave. Do what you want to do, what you truly believe, but be aware that someone will always find an excuse to criticize you. Therefore, do not entertain the expectation of pleasing everyone. Whatever depends on you do everything well! If you are criticized for something you do, it is a sign that your action is reverberating around you, so you are giving results. Anyone who accomplishes something meaningful and important will always be criticized, so don't pay attention to what they say. The ancients already said: Nobody throws stones at a tree that does not bear fruit. If someone scolds you for what you do, it is a sign that you are being the protagonist of your life, not the audience.

If you do something for someone, don't do it with the expectation of charging something in return afterwards