Gary L. Thomas - A Lifelong Love: How to Have Lasting Intimacy, Friendship, and Purpose in Your Marriage

Epilogue

If you looked up lifelong love in a sermon illustration dictionary, youd likely find a picture of Jim and Anne Pierson. This couple has been my Halleys Comet for much of my adult life, passing by every few years. I met them in my twenties while working at Care Net; they ran their own ministry with a similar emphasis named Loving and Caring. Wed see each other at conferences and conventions and catch up on each others lives and ministries. They saw my children grow up and my hair fall out.

When I left Care Net in my thirties to focus on writing and speaking, I was still invited to the conferences, and Jim was a shelter to me. Im an insecure introvert, called to an extroverts job, and Jim was a solid place of refuge between sessions. Anne was always such an encouraging presence; she believed in me. She spoke so passionately of how God was using me, in a way I had to believe her, even in the face of my insecurities. Having done for more than a decade what I had just started doing, Anne was a wonderful role model.

Jim was a giant of a man; Im guessing if the scale didnt reach 350 to 400 pounds, it wouldnt be of much use to him. His large girth carried an even larger heart, as he was a dad, pastor, counselor, and mentor to so many people. Though he could be hilarious (I once saw him hold up a hotel-sized bath soap in front of his belly and ask an entire room, So, they think this is going to be enough?), Jim usually worked behind the scenes. Anne was the teacher, the speaker, and the trainer. Jim ran their book table and kept Annes life on track.

There was a time when Jim would steal the spotlight, however. Before every one of Annes workshops, just after she was introduced, Jim would slip into the back of the room and belt out the Stevie Wonder tune, Isnt she lovely? Isnt she wonderful?

The largely feminine audience ate this up, to see a husband affirm his wife so well.

Sadly, Jim had a long and difficult death. He contracted an unusual form of aggressive cancer that, when diagnosed, doctors said would send him home to the Lord within a couple of weeks. Jim hung on for seven months, but they were brutal months sprinkled with some incredible times of ministry. So many people had to cycle through his hospice room to say good-bye that Anne thinks Jim was holding on for their sakes.

The medical costs associated with his end-of-life care would have bankrupted Jims family if not for the aid of a wealthy businessman whom Jim had led to the Lord. Jim had discipled this man via telephone on a weekly basis for years.

He made me a much better man, a much better father, a much better husband. I want to cover the costs of his care, Anne.

I dont think you realize how much this is going to cost, Anne protested.

I dont think you realize how much of an impact Jim has had on my life, the man responded. Please, let me do this for him.

After Jim finally died, Anne went to her next conference with a heavy heart. Jim had always been there for her, and she had to brace herself to be introduced and not hear Jim break out with his Stevie Wonder song.

Sure enough, the introduction ended, Anne looked up, felt enveloped by the silence, and then apologized. Im sorry, she told the crowd, I just need to pray.

She bowed her head to find strength in God, and when she opened her eyes, someone had placed a flower in a vase right in front of her. Anne was startled, thrown off.

Whats this? she asked the crowd.

A woman in the front row explained that she had woken up that morning and felt impressed by God that Anne would need something encouraging right before she started speaking. She told her husband to go get a flower in a vase.

Where am I going to find that? he asked. Were not from around here.

Just get it , she said.

So he did. Anne then told the gathered audience about how Jim had always sung to her before she spoke, how she had dreaded opening her eyes and hearing nothing, and how much that flower meant to her, evidence that God was still with her even though her husband wasnt and God would see her through. As you might expect, there was a serious run on Kleenex in that room. And the husband, who admitted that he had protested his wifes request rather vigorously, told Anne, Im going to be a different husband. I had no idea how much those small things can really matter.

Jim had discipled another man in his death .

The first time I saw Anne after Jims passing, I was fighting back tears approximately every fifteen minutes as we remembered her wonderful husband. As she dropped me off at my hotel, she paused to tell me, Ive had such a good life, Gary. Such a good, good life, investing in others and sharing that with Jim.

Though people always spoke so highly of the gifted Anne Pierson, for every one time I heard her name in ministry circles I heard Jim and Anne Pierson a dozen times. They had that blessed single identity. They were a unittwo individuals who were very much a single couple.

Jim and Anne had little of what most people think constitutes a glamorous marriage. Having spent their entire married lives in ministry, they had so little money that Jim felt he needed to get permission from Anne to leave his daughter a small gift in his will (less than $10,000) to buy a new car. They didnt look like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Jims passing was covered by a local newspaper, but it didnt make the evening news or even Christianity Today . But how many people do you know who can look back at a simple but spiritually fruitful life and honestly say, Its been such a good life, Gary. Such a good, good life, investing in others and sharing that with my husband?

You dont have to be beautiful (though Jim and Anne are, in every way). You dont have to be rich. You dont have to be famous to experience this. You just have to be what Jim and Anne were: worshippers of God, intent on seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness, investing in the lives of others, and reaping eternal rewards.

God wants this for you. He wants you to say good-bye to your lifelong love with similar words, It has been such a good, good life, a rich life of investing in others and sharing that with my spouse.

We began with Jeremiah 31, so lets end there. After God said through Jeremiah, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness. Again I will build you and you will be rebuilt (vv. 34 NASB ), He added, I will make them walk by streams of waters, on a straight path in which they will not stumble; for I am a father to Israel (v. 9 NASB ).

God will make us walk; God will lead us on a straight path and keep us from stumbling. Why? He is our Father and, once we are married, also our Father-in-Law.

They will come and shout for joy on the height of Zion, and they will be radiant over the bounty of the L ORD . Their life will be like a watered garden For I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and give them joy for their sorrow. My people will be satisfied with My goodness , declares the L ORD (vv. 1214 NASB ).

Holiness is the guardian of happiness, not its enemy. If you live a life of holiness in your marriage, you will be more than satisfied with Gods goodness.

Anne looked at me behind glasses with eyes that had seen many decades, but those were satisfied eyes, eyes convinced of Gods goodness, grateful for every day.

Married life, offered in service to God, is such a good and rewarding life. Lets give ourselves fully to it; lets keep building our marital house until we die, pursuing each other, forgiving each other, loving each other, and growing together through the years. If we do this, we will, like Anne, be richly blessed with a lifelong love.

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