Michael James - Feel Better, No Matter What: A 4-Week Course to Love the Life You Have Right Now

This edition first published in the UK and USA in 2021 by

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Design and typography copyright Watkins Media Limited 2021

Text copyright Michael James 2021

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Publishers note: The information in this book is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice and treatment. If you are pregnant or are suffering from any medical conditions or health problems, it is recommended that you consult a medical professional before following any of the advice or practice suggested in this book. Watkins Media Limited, or any other persons who have been involved in working on this publication, cannot accept responsibility for any injuries or damage incurred as a result of following the information, exercises or therapeutic techniques contained in this book.

CONTENTS

PREFACE

Recent events had plunged me into an emotional nightmare. My self-esteem was at an all-time low; I felt worthless and unattractive. I couldnt focus on my job. I couldnt do anything. But here I was in the office, having dragged my body to my desk, to spend another day in a job that left me drained and uninspired. I just wanted to disappear.

A colleague came over to speak to me and within moments started pouring out her problems. I didnt particularly mind, but as I tried to focus on the words, my mind pulled away into a storm of my own thoughts. I was drowning. I needed a life raft. I weighed up whether to call the crisis hotline again or just collapse on the floor. I was in the midst of a panic attack frozen in the intense pain of overthinking and a whirlwind of emotions

Youre so laid back, the woman said. I wish I could be as calm as you.

It is incredible how we can go through these types of battles, in plain view of other people, without it actually being seen. I was startled that she couldnt see what I was experiencing and actually saw the complete opposite but I couldnt stay with the thought as the self-blame, self-criticism and fear overwhelmed me. I had read all the must-read self-help and personal development books out there but nothing seemed to be working. Whats wrong with me? , I thought. Why cant I be positive, love myself or live in the NOW? whatever that means. Why cant I attract a better life?

I dont know how I soothed myself that day, but I got through it only to return to my personal hell a few hours later. I couldnt stop those emotional nightmare storms from coming.

That was then

INTRODUCTION

EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TO BE YOU

Whether it is in books, on social media or TV, there is a lot of talk these days about self-development and self-empowerment. That, and it seems as though we are endlessly being told to relax, detach from drama, let go, walk away, be positive, live in the moment. Things you have probably heard a hundred or more times but really seem to come down to one thing fight and change everything you dont like about yourself. I believe this approach amounts to resistance and what we resist persists but more on that later

What if I told you that you are already a lot more developed than you know and dont need any self-improvement? In fact, what Ive found through personal experience, research and my work as a life coach is this: each of us, including you, is already empowered, and it is this state that I call the Real Self its the real authentic Self free from the clouds of overthinking; it is who we are.

I started off by looking into different philosophies. I was looking for peace of mind in my own life, so I studied this subject like a PhD, on a quest to find out what really worked. In the books, I found a lot of new, optimistic-sounding ideas, but I still struggled in real life, especially in those times when I needed it when I was caught up in overthinking and the emotional challenges of day-to-day living. And, after starting a study group to search for something that did work, I realized nothing much was working for anyone else either, it wasnt just me.

Many people explained how they just couldnt get to grips with those so-called easy steps to create a better life they were reading about. They were still battling their emotions and sometimes even felt worse after reading books that demanded positivity at all times. Having to choose the right thoughts to think and be happy all the time was exhausting. And despite reading about the teachings of the latest enlightened guru (and even going to events where they could sit in this persons presence for hours), their own lives didnt change much at all.

Others described attending meditation retreats to work on raising their vibration, or the more impatient would opt for one of those superpowered workshops to learn how to get everything you wanted in a weekend. By Wednesday the following week, after a hyped-up 48 hours, they crashed back to old habits and disappointment. Or months after trying to attract a soulmate or career or life purpose still nothing.

Many of the popular self-development teachings suggest that some significant change will arrive sometime in the future but before long many people report returning to the same old relationship problems, mood swings and self-worth issues, and more defeated than ever before.

Rituals, breathing techniques, energy practices, movement: the list of stuff to do keeps getting longer. It would take a lifetime just to sift through all the available theories, let alone try them. I remember thinking, does living a good life really have to be so complicated?

However, it wasnt all a waste of time. Some aspects of the self-help teachings we explored in the group were soothing and seemed to offer hope. Despite coming from a range of traditions and times in history, these particular aspects shared a universal message: treat others as you want to be treated; be in the present moment; speak your truth be your authentic self; forgive everyone; love others (and remember you are a person too, so start with loving the person who you are); God is love and love is the real reality to name but a few. There were so many exciting ideas out there, but the question remained: How do we make these big ideas work in our own everyday lives? No matter how good these concepts sounded, putting them into practice was another thing entirely.

Over the next decade of running my regular group in central London, more insights emerged, and I developed my own system of practical coaching tools, which I then taught to my groups. The results were compelling, tangible and profound, leading to a sustained change for the better in peoples lives. My group participants, who came from all backgrounds, told me that the tools were working for them and the changes they were experiencing were sustainable no matter what was going on. Over the years, these practical teaching tools evolved into a course of coaching tools, which I will be sharing for the first time in this book. Using the tools, I know that you too can feel better no matter what the circumstances you are currently facing or changes you want to make.