H. Norman Wright - When the Past Wont Let You Go: Find the Healing That Helps You Move On

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

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WHEN THE PAST WONT LET YOU GO

Copyright 2016 H. Norman Wright

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-6679-5 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-6680-1 (eBook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Wright, H. Norman, author.

Title: When the past wont let you go / H. Norman Wright.

Description: Eugene: Harvest House Publishers, 2016.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016006054 | ISBN 9780736966795 (pbk.)

Subjects: LCSH: Loss (Psychology)Religious aspectsChristianity. | RegretReligious aspectsChristianity. | SufferingReligious aspectsChristianity.

Classification: LCC BV4909 .W76 2016 | DDC 248.8/6dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016006054

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Contents

T he pastour lives are built on it. Perhaps a better word for it is foundation. Who we are today is also built on our experiences, as well as conscious and not-so-conscious memories. Some people have used their pasts as launching pads for where they are in present life. Theyve put their experiences and memories to good use. Gods Word says, When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me (1 Corinthians 13:11).

It isnt necessary to dredge up every experience in our lives to move forward. But it is important to understand the connection between who we are today and the influence of our past because they are intertwined. As a seasoned counselor and crisis responder, Ive seen many people who left parts of themselves behind because theyd served their usefulness. At the same time, other portions of their pasts were still influencing, dictating, or controlling their present lifeand not always in positive ways. Many of those I see lack the tools to change or arent aware of how much their pasts are robbing them of a vibrant present and future.

When we dont move on from the past, our lives might be stunted or stuck, which means were living as though the past is our present and our future. This is not as it was meant to be emotionally or spiritually. If the past is dictating today or tomorrow, it may be our own doing or we are hanging on to people and significant life experiences. The past was never designed to limit our present and future, yet this is exactly what has happened to many. To cast off negative anchors and sail forward, we need to consider three factorsour past, our present, and our futureand how they interconnect. As believers, were called to grow in Christ by stepping forward in faith, but sometimes our past acts like a restraining anchor. Anchors have their place and can be useful, but they need to be the right kind of anchor.

One of the small ponds I fish in has massive weed growth as summer approaches. A bell-shaped anchor works well since it doesnt catch the weeds. An anchor shaped like a grappling hook can gather up to twenty pounds of weeds. There have been times when it was almost impossible to lift that anchor. I was stuck.

There are different responses to the past. Some believe it is of little consequence. It has no influence or power in current life. The problems of the past have nothing to do with our choices today. What happened back then has no impact on today or tomorrow. They give it little if any regard in their life. Problems stay in the past and have no influence on today.

Others believe the past is everything, and we should examine every experience under a microscope to get all the nuances. Any failure or problems today can be attributed to the past. Our past wounds havent totally healed, so they impact our present and our future. Were driven by our past and our need to confront it. Todays poor choices are not our fault. Consider these two possibilities in more detail:

Some people will never get beyond the pain from their past. It will wreak havoc in their personal and professional lives because they will keep cursing their pain, and it will keep cursing them back. They will choose to believe they are inseparably attached to their past without realizing they are, in fact, making a choice to hold on.

They will hold on to it in one of two ways. Either they will give in to it with a self-loathing that ensures perpetual misery and failure, or they will wage an angry and desperate war against it in an effort to bury its devastation in self-denial. Either way, they will never surrender the past pain. They will hold on to the idea that they shouldnt have had to go through the pain and that life is not fair. And they will, therefore, miss out on the brand-new ending that could in fact be theirs.

Then theres a group of people who will have taken a different path. They will realize their past isnt really their past. They will come to grips with the fact that their past pain is still impacting them and choose to rise above itThey will surrender their pain. Instead of ignoring or denying it, they will choose to be emptied of it, and in a glorious miracle, God will actually use the pain of their past to help redeem others, in effect, allowing them to find purpose in the pain.