Dale E. Galloway - The Fine Art of Getting Along With Others

The Secret of Getting Along with Others

Five ways to begin to apply the secret

A middle-aged man visited my office to proclaim to me and my church that his was a normal, morally acceptable lifestyle.

How difficult I found it to listen to this man whose views ran counter to all I believe! Yet as I remained open to him, in love, he began to tell me his story. Out poured the pain of an anguish-laden life. Hurt filled his eyes as he shared, I would give anything to have meaningful, lasting relationships in my life.

From that encounter Ive learned that most of us echo that cry, no matter what our lifestyle. How few persons feel satisfied that their relationships could fit this positive description.

As Christians, we are tempted to believe ourselves exempt from such problems. But after being brought up in a church administrators home, attending a Christian college and seminary, and pastoring for twenty years, I can testify that this is not true.

The past three months have shown me a pastor and his wife who have separated, admitting that theyve never gotten along the entire time theyve been married; a brilliant professional man who has quit his job because he could not get along with his boss; a nearby church that has split because the board and pastor could not agree. Christians were involved in all these situations, and we have all faced similar problems at home, at work, or with friends. Obviously, otherwise mature Christians may still remain deficient in the all-important area of getting along with other people.

For most people getting along is a matter of degree. Imagine rating your ability to get along with other people on a scale from one to ten. Few would be at either extreme of the scale. For most of us, it is not a matter of either getting along with everyone or with no one. Some people we get along with well, and other people we dont. I am going to reveal a secret to you. When you know it and put it to work in your life, it will immediately raise your level on the scale. When that happens, your relationships are going to be improved and much more enjoyable.

How Do I Get In on the Secret?

Jesus, the wisest, most knowledgeable person on the art of human relationships, gave us this Golden Rule principle:

Principle 1

Treat others as you want to be treated.

See Luke 6:31

You want to get along well with other people? Then put yourself in their place and try to understand them. You want people to like you? Then treat them as you would like to be treated if you were in their place.

In seeking to apply this great principle, I asked myself, How would I really like to be treated ? After much thought, I have identified five ways I want to be treated in my roles as a pastor, counselor, husband, and friend.

• I want to be valued as a person of worth.
• I want to be listened to by other people.
• I want to be appreciated.
• I want to be built up and edified by others.
• I want to be treated with empathy.

I believe I am not unique in how I want to be treated. Others, even little children, have the same need for good treatment.

Five Ways People Would Like to Be Treated

. People Want to Feel They Are of Worth. In 1960 I had just graduated from Olivet Nazarene College. That summer, while waiting to enter seminary in the fall, I pastored a struggling little church in a suburb of Chicago.

One day I went to one of the better known hospitals in Chicago to visit a patient. While there I ran into the chief of surgeons, Dr. Howard Hamlin, who for years had been a personal friend of my father and mother. As Dr. Hamlin and I walked down the hall together, an incident happened that was a little thing to the doctor but made a lasting impression on my life.

I remember feeling like a very important person walking alongside this important man. Not only was he a pacesetter in surgery at a major hospital in one of the biggest cities in the world, but he was a well-known lay leader in our denomination. We were walking along chitchatting when it happened.