Rhonda Stoppe - Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

What a powerful perspective! Rhonda has a solid understanding of what the Bible says about mothers and sons, and she uses real-life examples and a tell-it-like-it-is style of wisdom that is needed for this day and age. This book offers great advice for mothers to raise their sons to be men who can affect generations to come.

Matthew West

Grammy-nominated recording artist

This book parallels parenting itselfhumorous, eye-opening, challenging, and rewarding all at the same time. Its a must for any mother who understands the incredible influence she has on her son(s), and who desires to be a faithful steward of this privileged taskand have some fun along the way. The insights Rhonda shares by using the blueprint of Gods Word are a gift that will inspire a new generation of world-changing mothers.

Phil Joel

Musician, songwriter, and founder of deliberatePeople ministries

Rhonda is real! She shares honestly and vulnerably her mistakes as well as her victories when it comes to raising boys into strong, God-following men. Through her sound biblical advice, her godly insights, and her practical wisdom, you will be encouraged, enlightened, and empowered to become the mom youve always wanted to beand to guide your son into becoming the man God intended.

Cindi McMenamin

National speaker and author of When Women Walk Alone

I have interacted with many young men over the years who have been either positively or negatively impacted by their mothers example. This book will prove to be a challenging and practical exhortation for moms to fulfill their calling to be women of the Word who influence their sons to be men of God.

Jake Ebner

Resident director, The Masters College, Santa Clarita, CA

Rhonda has skillfully shown through biblical and historical examples what boys need from their mothersThrough a good understanding of principles from the Bible, moms can be a mother who brings out the best in their young man.

Ann Iorg

Presidents wife, Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary, Mill Valley, CA

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Italics in Scripture quotations indicates authors emphasis.

Cover by Dugan Design Group, Bloomington, Minnesota

Cover Photo Juan Silva / Photodisc / Getty Images

Back cover author photo by Deanna Graham

MOMS RAISING SONS TO BE MEN

Copyright 2013 by Rhonda Stoppe

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Stoppe, Rhonda, 1961-

Moms raising sons to be men / Rhonda Stoppe.

p. cm

ISBN 978-0-7369-4977-4 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-4979-8 (eBook)

1. Mothers and sonsReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Child rearingReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. SonsReligious life. I. Title.

BV4529.18.S756 2013

248.8'431dc23

2012036207

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

To my precious sons-in-law

Jacob Ebner and Estevan Atkinson

To my son Tony Hebert

And to my son Brandon Stoppe,

who continually encouraged me

as I wrote this book.

I am richly blessed to have watched

each of you become godly men

in this generation.

And to my girls

Meredith, Kayla, Kylene, and Jessy,

architects of the next generation.

Soli Deo Gloria

To my husband, Steve Stoppethank you for the Christ-honoring example you have been to our sons, and for all your wise counsel and support. You are my favorite!

Thank you, Cindi McMenamin, for taking me by the hand and walking me through the open doors to write this book.

To my editor, Steve Millerthank you for patiently working with me to make this book a true treasure for moms of boys.

Contents

The family was, and continues to be, my living definition of both what God expects from me, and what He wants for me.
I am thankful for this example, and I have no doubt that it was Gods plan for our lives to connect.

A NTHONY H EBERT

T o be the mother of a son is not for the faint of heart. I remember when my son Brandon was born. Looking into his little face, the feelings within me were somehow different from four years earlier when I had given birth to my daughter. I felt so inadequate as I weighed the responsibility of molding this baby into a man. Up to this point, raising a girl had not been a difficult challenge. It was clear that she was like me, with all the love for being a girl that she could express. She loved shoes and colorful bows for her hair. She was extremely social and adored her friends. And her daddy? Oh, she loved her daddy. Yes, relating to her had been no problem at all.

Yet now in my arms I was holding a helpless baby boy who would grow into a man. Even the mere task of changing his diaper was intimidating with his recently circumcised appendage. I remember thinking, I cannot imagine that soft little face one day having whiskers. As I studied his hands so tiny and fragile, I thought of how they may one day be rough and calloused like his fathers.

When you gave birth to your son, did you find yourself imagining what kind of man he might become? When it came to my son, I did not want to raise a mommas boy, yet I wanted to be his protector. I did not want him to be rough and reckless, but I did want him to be strong. I wanted him to become a wonderful, godly man like his father. After I took the little guy home and began to raise him, I found my parenting overshadowed with a fear of doing it wrong. I gradually developed a sort of reactionary modehe acted and I reacted. Rather than following a clear path toward shaping his life, the fear of what I did not want my son to be became my standard. I was merely putting out fires rather than kindling the flames of my sons character.

My husband and I had always wanted our home to be a place of peace, and yet I found in reality it had become a chaotic environment ruled by my emotions. Because I did not want to disappoint my husband, I did not let him know how much I was struggling. The day my daughter said to me, I know you cant wait until we are grown up so that you can do whatever you want was the day that I knew I needed to get some help. It broke my heart that I had given her that notion. I loved being a mother; it was what I wanted to do. Yet in my harried frustration, that was not at all the impression I had given my sweet little girl.

Feeling even more inadequate and alone, I began to read books about parenting, from which I compiled a sort of how-to list. I soon discovered that the list did not have the power to change me. It became a burdensome reminder of the standard I was unable to measure up to. I lacked fortitude for this new adventure. I knew that I needed to become a kind, courageous, and confident mother if I was ever going to raise kind, courageous, confident children. I desired to be a godly mother who raised godly children. But where would I find the direction I so desperately longed for?