Rhonda Stoppe - A Christian Womans Guide To Great Sex In Marriage

Rhonda has a gift for writing in a way I feel like I am simply spending time with her visiting over a cup of coffee.

I needed a mentor to help me, and I dont know that I would have wanted anyone to know I wanted to learn about sex.

A Christian Womans Guide to Great Sex in Marriage has helped me to see the act of sex as godly, not secular as I did previously. I plan to put into practice what I have learned with Gods help.

I am convicted by Rhondas phrase, living with no regrets. If I apply the principles Rhonda lays out in this book, she seems to make it a real possibility for me to live without regrets, to build a no regrets marriage!
~Anonomous Wife

A Christian Womans Guide to
GREAT SEX
In Marriage

By Rhonda Stoppe
Copyright 2015 Rhonda Stoppe
www.NoRegretsWoman.com
ISBN-13: 978-1-61813-191-1

CONTENTS

-When Youre Not the Wild Cat You Thought Youd Be

-When Quickies are Not Enough

-When You Discover the Key to Great Sex

-When Sex is Truly an Act of Love

INTRODUCTION

You did itYou downloaded an ebook about sex! I am proud of you for your desire to learn valuable insights into how you can develop a GREAT sex life within your Christian marriage.

If youre anything like the majority of Christian women who are looking for ways to improve the sexual intimacy experience between you and your husband, you may not have an older, more mature woman in your life that you feel comfortable asking about sex.

Titus instructs the older women to teach the younger how to love their husbands, and I take seriously this mandate to train younger women what I have learned from lifes experience, Gods Word, and from mentoring other young women for more than three decades.

I am not a licensed therapist, so I cannot offer any professional advice. But I am an older women who has done a fair amount of biblical marriage coaching along side of my pastor-husband, Steve. From this experience I believe I have gleaned insights that can help you learn to truly enjoy sexual intimacy with your husband.

Over the past twenty years, Steve and I have taken numerous engaged couples through six weeks of premarital training. With week number six being the week we talk about sex. We like to tell our engaged couples, We take you through week six so you wont have weak sex.

Of the many premarital couples we have mentored, we have been blessed to hear from numerous husbands and wives how that one week spent learning the way God designed their bodies to enjoy intercourseand how the Lord who created the sexual experience wants His people to find great pleasure in their marriage beds, provided them with satisfying sex lives that tend to grow more pleasurable over the years.

Often, I have thought, What about the married couples who never had anyone tell them how to have great sex? Are they left to figure it out for themselves? How can we help them enjoy sex in their marriages the way God intended?

It is for you sweet girl, I am writing this short ebook. SO LETS GET STARTED, shall we?

Soli Deo gloria

CHAPTER 1
WHAT HAPPENED?

When Youre Not the Wild Cat You Thought Youd Be

Before you were married did you find you could hardly keep your hands off your man? Did your heart skip a beat when you thought about the day you would be able to have sex as husband and wife?

Whether-or-not you and your husband waited to have sex until you were married, you most likely spent time wrapped in each others arms kissing, and possibly even making outyes, making out.

If you were attempting to remain pure until your wedding day, do you remember how difficult it was for you to pull yourselves apart? Everything in your body was screaming I want this man, and I want him NOW! Because of this experience, were you convinced that you were going to be a wildcat in the bedroom? Most likely, your husband was convinced of that too...

So what happens? Why is it that so many women discover theyre just not that into sex after they are married?

For some women, honeymoon sex is wonderful. For others, it is an uncomfortable participation that requires their bodies physically adjusting to this new experience of intercourse. Lots of lubricant is key for this adjustment to be pleasurable...maybe you can relate? I remember in our early months of marriage, I went through lots-and-lots of lubricant.

After the honeymoon, when life gets back to normal, a bride may find that making time for sex becomes a challenge. Especially if both husband and wife go back to busy work schedules. Tiredness plays a huge role in squelching a good love life, wouldnt you agree?

And once you have children, theres this odd sensory overload that tends to happen to mothers, who throughout the day have been touched, climbed upon, and nursed on. When this happens, you may find yourself cringing at the thought of anyone else touching your body at the end of the day.

For those of you who have been married a number of years, maybe you have found that youve fallen into the habit of resolving to have obligatory sex with your husband, when you sense the act of intercourse has been ignored for far too long.

Do you ask yourself, Why is sex not what I had hoped it would be? Since you are reading this book, I can assume you want to learn what can you do to enjoy sex in your marriage.

So, here goes... First, lets start off with a list of some basic hindrances to great sex, and what you can do about it:

HORMONAL CONTRACEPTIVES

You may have noticed how amorous you become around the time that you ovulate. However, sometimes women who were once sexually driven may discover they have little sex drive after they begin taking hormonal contraceptiveswhich have been known to squelch some womens sex drive. Hormonal birth control evens out your hormones and affects ovulation which is tied to your sex drive.

So, am I advising you not to take birth controlno. This is a decision that should be made between you, your husband, the Lordand your physician. But it wouldnt hurt to discuss with your doctor if you suspect that your birth control is suppressing your libido.

GUILT OR BAGGAGE FROM PAST EXPERIENCES

Sometimes a woman does not enjoy sex because she is plagued with baggage or guilt from a past sexual experience.

1. Did you have sex before marriage, with your husband-to-beor with someone else?

It has been estimated that 40% of professing Christians engaged in sex before marriageeven though they knew it was in disobedience to Gods command. With this statistic in mind, it would be naive of me to assume that the majority of women reading this book waited to have sex until after their wedding.

If your carrying baggage of guilt from your sexual experience before marriage, it is time to clear your heartand mind, and be set free from the shame.

Christian women often get stuck thinking about how they sinned sexually before marriage. I find it interesting how Satan seduces women to sin in this area of sexual impurity, then turns his wicked finger on her and tells her how shameful she is for doing so.

If you are one who has a struggle in this area may I present to you the defenses star witnessBathsheba. Remember her? She was the woman who had sex with King David, while she was married to Uriah.

When David sent his servant to fetch Bathsheba, you dont read anywhere in scripture where Bathsheba refused the Kings advances. At any rate, she did not refuse Davids invitation.

As the story goes, when Bathsheba turned up pregnant with Davids baby, David sent Uriah to die in battle. Then, David took Bathsheba to be his wife. All the while, the two of them had this big dark secret that they kept hidden for nearly a yeara year!before Nathan the prophet confronted David of his sin. (If you do not know the story of David and Bathsheba you can read it in 2 Samuel 11-12.)