Kim Kimberling - 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage

Some authors write about the latest secret to lasting love, but in this book Kimshares how you can practically implement secrets that have stood the test of time.Reading this book is like sitting with a trusted friend or your own personal marriagementor and gleaning from their years of experience. Your relationship will be betterfor having done so.

Ron L. Deal

Bestselling author of The Smart Stepfamily

and Dating and the Single Parent

In a world where many marriages struggle, Dr. Kims book is a catalyst for change.As you learn these seven secrets and apply them to your marriage, you open the doorfor marriage blessings from God that you never imagined were possible.

Herbert Cooper

Senior Pastor, Peoples Church in Oklahoma

Author of But God Changes Everything

When I found out Dr. Kimberling was releasing this book, I began praying that itwould land in the hands of thousands of people simply because there is no one I knowwho speaks greater wisdom into the area of relationships than Kim. He has years ofwisdom and experience that can help people who are married, engaged, dating, or hopeful.What a gift this book is to the church and to the world!

Dr. Clayton King

President of Crossroads Summer Camps and Crossroads Missions

Teaching Pastor, NewSpring Church in South Carolina

Distinguished Professor of Evangelism, Anderson University

I have known Kim and Nancy for over 10 years and have seen the 7 secrets at workfirsthand. They have an awesome marriage. You too can have an awesome marriage, butit takes work and a few secrets tucked away in Gods Word that Dr. Kimberling willbring to light in this amazing new resource for couples.

Rodney Cox

Founder/President, Ministry Insights

ZONDERVAN

7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage

Copyright 2015 by Kim Kimberling, Ph.D.

ePub Edition June 2015: ISBN 978-0-310-34228-1

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Drive SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Kimberling, Kim.

7 secrets to an awesome marriage / Kim Kimberling, PhD. 1 [edition].

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-0-310-34227-4 (softcover : alk. paper)

1. Marriage Religious aspects Christianity. I. Title. II. Title: Seven secrets to an awesome marriage.

BV835.K5425 2015

248.8'44 dc23

2015015498

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Published in association with the literary agency of Hudson Bible.

Cover design: Dual Identity

Cover photo: Geoff Duncan / Lightstock.com

Interior design: Kait Lamphere

First printing May 2015

This book is dedicated to my Mom and Dad. For fifty-seven years they were my living blueprint of what an Awesome Marriage is all about.

CONTENTS

by Craig and Amy Groeschel

If someone told you that you had a 50 percent chance of losing all your money bythe end of the month, we are certain they would have your full attention. Youd beasking questions, digging deeper, doing everything possible to make sure you endedup on the right side of those odds. Or imagine if a trusted mechanic explained youcould very likely be killed in a car wreck if you dont replace your brakes. Thereis no doubt that youd think twice about speeding down the highway without makingthe appropriate repairs. And if someone told you there is a 50 percent chance oneof your children would be kidnapped if you dropped him or her off at the mall withoutsupervision, you know your kid would never visit the mall alone again.

Knowing there is a good chance of some life-altering tragedy, you would do everythingyou could to avoid it. And yet, every day people get married with full knowledgethat approximately 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. So why dont we do everythingwe can to take the odds seriously? Even though many marriages dont make it and othersjust barely limp along, it doesnt have to be that way for you.

Sound wisdom and smart preparation can make all the difference. Thats why Amy andI are so thankful for Dr. Kimberlings practical, deeply spiritual, and game-changingbook. Im honored to serve as Dr. Kimberlings pastor and have the blessing of knowinghim both personally and professionally. He and his wife, Nancy, are not only incredibleservants, but also world-class teachers. I have lost count of all the strugglingmarriages our church has sent to the Kimberlings in desperate need of help. Timeand time again, God has used this family to save marriages and build God-honoringhomes.

Amy and I wont promise you that an awesome marriage is easy but we will assureyou that its possible. And Dr. Kimberling will walk you step-by-step through sevenvery doable practices that will help you have the marriage youve always dreamedof having. With these seven secrets, along with a wholehearted commitment to Christand to each other, you can and will have an awesome marriage.

Craig and Amy Groeschel

If I was twenty again and in love and ready to get married, I would be scared todeath. The world often makes this whole marriage thing to look like a catastrophewaiting to happen, and I am not sure I would want to take the risk. I would be lookingaround for other options, which is exactly what a bunch of people are doing today.Cohabit, date a bunch of different people, do not commit to anyone, and/or stay singleforever.

I could have bought into that. I might have wanted to play it safe. This marriagething might have been conventional once, but now, it must be for daredevils or crazypeople.

Lets be honest: the statistics dont look so good. Nor do the stories we hear fromthose we know and love whose marriages have failed.

Yet even with all the negative things about marriage today, my real bottom line isthis: I love being married. Nancy and I started dating during our college years.She was eighteen and I was twenty. We loved dating. On campus I would wait outsideher class until it ended so I could walk her to the next one. We ate our meals together,studied together, and talked on the phone way too late each night. It was an adventurefor us. We were in college and having a blast. We had friends, we had fun, and wehad each other.

Our relationship grew to the point that two years later we bungee-jumped into marriage.Nancy was finishing college and I was working full time. Our first apartment wasbrand new. Not only were we the first people to live in it, but we were also thefirst to watch it literally fall apart around us. So much for the if it is new,you wont have problems with it philosophy. With my first job, I made enough moneyto pay the bills, but there was very little extra. We had lots of creative date nights.Our favorite centered around watching the sunset and the sailboats while sittingon the dam of a lake close to where we lived. It was magical for us.

Right out of the starting blocks, we had no idea what we were doing, but we werecommitted to each other and to this marriage. We had ups and downs and almost crashedand burned a few times, but we hung in there. And you know what? All these yearslater, we would do it all over again. We would go over the hills and through thevalleys and relive the good days and the bad days because we have a different perspectivetoday.