Tiffany L. Werhner MS LMHC PA - Theres a Light Within You That Never Goes Out: True Stories of Actual Survivors of Sexual Abuse And/Or Incest Abuse That Have Overcome the Traumatic Past

Theres a Light Within You That Never Goes Out

True Stories of Actual Survivors of Sexual Abuse and/or Incest Abuse That Have Overcome the Traumatic Past

Actual data from non-fictional Survivors of Sexual Abuse and Incest. Reports of Torture, Rape, Horror, Shame, Trauma and Abuse beyond imagination. How do the abused learn how to identify themselves as Survivors and heal from the emotional pain that has been carried for years?

Tiffany L. Werhner, MS, LMHC, PA

Copyright 2015 Tiffany L. Werhner, MS, LMHC, PA.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

The incidents and stories shared in this book are true reports from actual survivors of sexual abuse and incest. Their names have been changed for privacy and security reasons.

ISBN: 978-1-4907-5560-1 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4907-5562-5 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4907-5561-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015902532

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,
and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery Thinkstock.

Trafford rev. 02/24/2015

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Contents

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to dedicate this book to my survivor group, which not only shared their precious stories with one another in a healing group setting, but allowed me to document their thoughts and guidance in order to help others recover from shame and guilt associated with abuse. The members of the group will remain anonymous, however, to me, never forgotten. Thank you.

INSIGHT: You MUST break yourself down in order to rebuild yourself up. In the end, you WILL feel empowered and strong. You CAN and WILL be able to gain insight and find emotional peace. It is vital to see clearly light IS at the end of the tunnel. You can gain life changing power to see clearly that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you can gain life-changing power to not only feel strength by facing this pain you have endured, but each and every struggle or obstacle you may encounter in life. Just knowing that you took a chance to face the past and studied ways that you may be healed is a brave move forward and you should begin to feel proud of yourself. Taking that initiative is not an easy thing to do. You have a choice on how you want to live your life. Only you can make this happen. I believe once the effort is made, your life will only improve moving for ward.

There is a light within you that never goes outno matter how long you have felt it was gone.

The flaming candle in the wind fears the wind, but can always be lit again if the wind blows the flame out.

PROLOGUE

I have identified that without really seeing the power of facing the truth and overcoming the shame and guilt of feeling victimized from sexual abuse, a survivor can never really heal from the psychological damage it has done. In addition, I have come to realize how common sexual abuse is and how damaging it can be to a person. I have been working with many different types of abuse survivors: children suffering from years of incest, an attack from stranger, a violent series of rapes, a onetime severe sexual encounter through a trusted friend/family member or role model. My intention is to help you recognize that regardless of the incident, it happened and it shouldnt have. But most of all, the main focus of this book is guided to help the adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse utilize several effective tools I have encountered that have been breathtaking and empowering according to my clientele. I am attempting to collaborate all the useful and effective tools into one book. The stories that have been shared are not fiction and were very hard to share.

Sometimes it scares me to know what I know, especially since I am also a mother myself. Sometimes I understand the saying Ignorance is bliss. I wish the harmed and abused could know how common it is to be deceived and how it is hard to identify people that are selfish, needy, lonely, with fetishes, lost, misdiagnosed, or not diagnosed at all. Even worse, there are so many diagnosed with mental illness that are not medication compliant.

When people are faced with trauma, especially with the trauma being absolutely no fault of their own, such as sexual abuse, it usually makes them fearful to let others in. Knowledge is empowering and without knowledge and awareness people that are and have been abused are more likely to feel like a victim. The question is are you ready to feel empowered by facing some very hurtful past memories? Or instead live in fear with unresolved or unrepairable anxiety and flashbacks regarding the memories of the past?

The common feeling of confusion possessed by sexual abuse victims included a childhood flooded with unanswered questions, shameful thoughts, hatred for not feeling protected by their parents or God, and questionable thoughts of sexual identity that often happens when exposed to inappropriate things and actions at such a young age.

Recovering as an adult from childhood sexual abuse is bitter-sweet. It is a very personal journey for one to finally recover from being an adult that has survived childhood abuse. The bitter is that it is difficult to face the true and shameful facts, remembering the past, and admitting what actions actually truly happened. The sweet is that after this is all done, one can finally learn to live the rest of their lives with that feeling lifted from their heart, soul, and memories.

You MUST break yourself down in order to rebuild yourself up. In the end, you WILL feel empowered and strong. You CAN and WILL be relieved from the emotional consequences of the violations that were placed upon you, whether it happened one time or for years. The common denominator is that most victims do not seek help because they feel powerless, like their story is no longer worth telling. It is so important to see clearly that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you can gain life-changing power to not only this, but every struggle in life. Just knowing that you took a chance to face the past and studied ways that you may be healed is a brave move forward and you should begin to feel proud of yourself just by taking that initiative, as it is not an easy thing to do. You have a choice on how you want to live your life. I hope that if you are reading this and have not yet sought out professional help, you at least take from this the empowerment that you are not alone. It is brave to come out and speak up, no matter how long ago it was, and that if you have not received help yet, please talk to someone as soon as possible. Only you can make this happen, and I believe once the effort is made, your life will only improve from this point.

As one of the characters in this story Raye discovered that her story was going to be published, she wept tears of joy and relief. I asked, Why do you cry? Do you not want this to happen? Tearfully and sobbing she replied, I have always asked Why me, God, why me? Now you have given me a reason that God gave me strength to survive that and live on. After years of shame, fear and guilt I finally have a purpose. After 54 surgeries due to years of violent rape and incest by my brother and their friends, starting at age one, I can actually correlate them to something purposeful, as if it were meant for something bigger and for a greater good.