Michael Khouri - 15 Ways to Own Your Future: Take Control of Your Destiny in Business & in Life

First published by Business Books, 2016

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Text copyright: Michael Khouri 2015

ISBN: 978 1 78535 300 0

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015954376

All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical articles or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publishers.

The rights of Michael Khouri as author have been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Design: Stuart Davies

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You only have so much energy; expend it where it will have the most impact

This long version, how-to book gave birth to my first published book, The Power of Ownership, which accentuated 15 Ways to Own Your Future in short-story form.

As a short story, The Power of Ownership conveyed the message that we make choices every day that define our life. Life will provide its pain. We decide, alone, based on our perspective, whether it translates to suffering. We also decide and determine our enjoyment and triumphs long before we experience them, through our perspective.

The start of this book may very well have been initiated almost fifty years ago, during a period in my life when I was faced with a major challenge. I was a typical sixteen-year-old. I was trying to make the transition from boy to man. Sixteen is an age when everything seems more dramatic than it really is. Having my own car, impressing the girls, and excelling in sports, was all that mattered. My ability to be very effective at all of them, at the same time, was more important than it should have been. Whether it was these important issues or something else that caused my problem, is not relevant. What is relevant was the repercussion of placing so much significance on my success and an inability to put it all in perspective. It was eating me alive.

Unfortunately, what had become nothing more than emotion had begun to produce some nasty physical effects. I developed a disease called ulcerative colitis, which for the most part was an unknown disease at the time. One of the factors that impacted this disease was believed to be stress. My stress, which was self-induced, centered on an inability to put things in perspective.

This disease caused so much damage to my system that by the time I turned seventeen, I had no choice but to finally go to the hospital for a diagnosis. I had lost so much blood that my body was not too far from closing down.

I was told there was no cure for this disease. I was also told that it would never leave my body and that any major responsibilities, because of the stress, could kill me. I was told that the only way to limit the impact was to talk through any issues bothering me. Neither solution thrilled me. My doctor also gave me a major dose of horse-size pills.

After about three years of taking sixteen of these horse pills a day, going to the doctor for monthly check-ups, and being quizzed about my stress level, I had reached my limit. I woke up one morning around my twentieth birthday and decided I was done with this routine.

Fortunately, my solution was positive driven. I simply decided that I was going to heal myself. It was my belief no doctor and no number of pills could do this for me. In order for it to happen, I had to do it myself. Beyond that, I was tired of going to the doctor every month. I had taken enough medication to last me a lifetime. I called the hospital and cancelled my appointment for that week. I told them they would not be seeing me anymore. I also refused to refill my prescription. I saw pill prescriptions as nothing more than an unfulfilling panacea.

I had come to the conclusion, at the early age of twenty, that most things in life are defined by perspective. As a result, I could believe whatever I wanted to. I would choose to take an optimistic outlook on everything going forward. My first optimistic assessment was to declare that I was cured. I no longer needed to see the doctor for this disease, because it no longer existed! As many people before me have stated: The mind is a powerful tool. I declared myself empowered. I had the authority. I was now in control.

I did not realize it at the time, but I had experienced a life-altering moment the day I decided I had had enough and took control. I decided I was going to enjoy every moment and direct my own destiny. I would no longer be adversely affected by any difficult event thrown at me. I was going to enjoy life to its fullest, and with this newfound perspective, look for the positive in everything.

I have taken no medications for the last forty-three years and have only been to the hospital for a check-up twice. During that period of time, I have taken on major responsibilities as a husband, father of two daughters, and served in many executive positions managing hundreds of people in high-profile industries.

I feel very fortunate for having found this long-term perspective early in life. Many people never recognize the moment because they are too engulfed in where they arent. This makes it very difficult to enjoy the moment for what it is. Memories become defined as something only in the past as opposed to what is happening today.

This definition of most peoples self-imposed anxiety is something that too many just accept as being life. It is as though we spend our lives just standing on a railroad track staring ahead. We expect that train to hit us head-on and fulfill that self-induced prophecy. If we get frozen in anticipation of bad things happening, they usually do.

This collision image of life may be exaggerated to a certain extent, but the overall feeling of lack of control that it conveys is more common in most peoples perception of life than it should be. Life does not have to be viewed as a constant calamity that self-perpetuates, nor does it have to be actually lived in that way.

This brings to mind a disturbing conversation I overheard recently in a restaurant while in a meeting with a former employee. It was not the close proximity that allowed me to overhear this conversation. They were talking very loud. One man, who appeared to be in his mid-forties, was telling his friend that he hated his job, and that nothing ever went right. This revelation appeared to surprise the other man, who I assumed was a friend. After listening for a while, it became clear that he could not have been a long-time friend, because he appeared surprised by the admission. His response gave the impression that he was not prepared for such a personal confession.

Oh really, he stated, with some discomfort in his voice.

This man who hated his job went on to say that he, in fact, hated to get out of bed. He added, Id rather be sleeping because that is the only time I feel okay.

The man who now was trying to help the depressed man replied, What is causing all of this stress? Is it primarily the job?

Yes and no, he lamented. He confessed that nothing was going well at home or at work.