Endorsements
Debra Laasers latest book delivers a powerful and hopeful messageyou can not only survive trauma but also thrive after trauma. What makes this book so special is that it goes beyond simply describing the important notion of posttraumatic growth and gives you gentle prompts and exercises to help you achieve it one simple step at a time. This book is a blessing for anyone who has suffered from trauma and is hoping to transform their life.
Daniel G. Amen, MD , author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Deb shares her intimate and powerful thirty-year personal journey in this book, filled with practical tools for anyone ready to take their next right step on their path from trauma to transformation!
Tim Clinton, EdD, LPC, LMFT , president, American Association of Christian Counselors, and cohost, Dr. James Dobsons Family Talk
From Trauma to Transformation takes the reader on a journey of learning how to maximize betrayals chaos and pain as a stimulus for Spirit-led growth. Not because change is required or caused the spouse to make bad choices but rather because pain has opened a door, a chance to do things differently. While set in the arena of sexual betrayal, this book is going to prove helpful to all who are attempting to work through any trauma. Deb helps you learn to live daily with the tension of both/and as you practice the last of human freedomsto choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances (Viktor Frankl). This is no trite self-help. This is a deep dive, no-holds-barred, gentle journey with the Holy Spirit. I just wish it had been available when I first started working with my couples many years ago!
Dave Carder, MA, MFT , author of Torn Asunder and Anatomy of an Affair
In From Trauma to Transformation , Debra Laaser masterfully leads her readers like a seasoned guide on a challenging journey. She does so with empathy, understanding, and integrity and has the courage to walk her own path while also helping light the way for others. Her ability to weave biblical, personal, and clinical dimensions of trauma, posttraumatic growth, and transformation provides orientation and stability to an often turbulent and frightening process. I can think of no more trustworthy guide for the journey than Debra Laaser!
David E. Jenkins, PsyD , professor and clinical director of PsyD program at Liberty University
Over the past twenty years, our friend and colleague Debbie Laaser has proven herself time and again to be one of the most important thought leaders and practitioners in our field. After reading From Trauma to Transformation , were convinced that God has used Debbie to pen what will surely become a classic on how to move from merely surviving to truly thriving in posttraumatic growth. If youre hurting and searching for the kind of godly wisdom and practical insights that can transform your life, then we invite you to read this book and follow the caring, gentle voice of your new mentor.
Michael and Christine Leahy , co-CEOs of BraveHearts
Debra writes from the heart. Readers will sense her compassion as she vulnerably weaves her story into a process of embracing betrayal trauma while gently encouraging growth amid the pain. She encourages readers to hold the perspective of a gentle observer as she outlines a path, the next right step, to lead partners on a personal journey of growth as they draw closer to self and to God. As Debra states, become better, not bitter from betrayal. Choose to read this book if you are looking for a way through the anguish of betrayal, and you desire to strengthen yourself and your spiritual life.
Marcus R. Earle, PhD, LMFT , clinical director of Psychological Counseling Services
There is more to trauma than just surviving. In From Trauma to Transformation , Laaser focuses on helping readers thrive following traumatic events and other adverse life experiences. Laaser takes the concept of posttraumatic growth beyond a theoretical idea and makes it a tangible, transformative process. She does not dismiss the painful reality of trauma but delivers practical, faith-focused suggestions and exercises that lead to transformed relationships with yourself, others, and God following trauma and adverse life experiences.
Elizabeth Griffin, MA, LMFT, and David Delmonico, PhD
Out of the crucible of her own pain and trauma, Debra gently leads the reader through wise insight and practical experiences along a path to transformation and empowerment.
Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner , authors of The Gift of Sex and other resources that promote healthy sexuality within faith-based communities
Half Title Page
Other Books by the Author
Shattered Vows: Hope and Healing for Women Who Have Been Sexually Betrayed
Seven Desires: Looking Past What Separates Us to Learn What Connects Us , coauthored with Mark Laaser
A Toolkit for Growth: Practical Recovery Tools for Individuals and Couples, coauthored with Mark Laaser
Title Page
Copyright Page
2022 by Debra Laaser
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2022
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-3187-8
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations labeled AMP are from the Amplified Bible (AMP), copyright 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org
The names and details of the people and situations described in this book have been changed or presented in composite form in order to ensure the privacy of those with whom the author has worked.
This publication is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed. Readers should consult their personal health professionals before adopting any of the suggestions in this book or drawing inferences from it. The author and publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects arising from the use or application of the information contained in this book.
Baker Publishing Group publications use paper produced from sustainable forestry practices and post-consumer waste whenever possible.
Dedication
To my beloved husband, Mark,
who used his second chance to be
transformed from trauma,
and in so doing helped me be
transformed from mine.
Contents
Endorsements
Half Title Page
Other Books by the Author
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Introduction
1. The Pain of Being in Pain
2. Getting Practical When You Are in Pain
3. Surviving or Thriving
4. Practical Steps to Move from Surviving to Thriving
5. Exploring YouThe Person You Take Everywhere
6. Practical Steps to Exploring You
7. What Is It Like to Be in Relationship with You?
8. Practical Steps to Examine Your Relationship
9. A New Trust
10. Everything Cries HolyLetting Life Teach You
11. Liking the New YouTransforming
12. Trauma and Transformation
Gentle Assignments
Appendix A: Feelings
Appendix B: Erik Eriksons Stages of Development
Appendix C: FANOS Check-In