Judith Matz Matz - The Diet Survivors Handbook: 60 Lessons in Eating, Acceptance and Self-Care

Copyright 2006 by Judith Matz and Ellen Frankel

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Matz, Judith

The diet survivors handbook : 60 lessons in eating, acceptance, and self-care / Judith Matz and Ellen Frankel.

p. cm.

1. Reducing diets--Psychological aspects. 2. Weight

loss--Psychological aspects--Popular works. 3. Food

habits--Psychological aspects--Popular works. I. Frankel, Ellen. II. Title.

RM222.2.M3793 2006

613.25--dc22

2005025121

We dedicate this book to diet survivors:
may you find courage and inspiration in
these pages.

During the course of writing this book, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I could not have gotten through that challenging time, let alone completed this manuscript, without the love and support of wonderful family and friends. My gratitude goes out to all of you.

My deepest love and appreciation go to my husband, David Barhydt. From the beginning, his belief in me as a therapist and a writer has given me the encouragement to reach for my dreams. I could not have written this book without the patience of my children, Laura, Ethan, and Jordan, who had to put up with my long hours in front of the computer. Their sense of humor, wisdom, and ability to know themselves affirm the spirit of this book. My parents, Lorraine and Joe Matz, along with my mother-in-law, Rose Marie Barhydt, have helped me in every way possible as I took on more than I could chew! I truly appreciate the ongoing support from my brother, Robert Matz. Thank you to Ellen Barish for the many discussions about writing, to Mindy Kolof for your marketing ideas, and to my colleagues Margaret Bennett, Pam Duhl, Peggy Freeman, Jan Frigo, Linda Glass, and Debbie Gross for your wisdom and kindness. My sincere gratitude goes to Deb Werksman, my editor and longtime friend, for understanding the importance of this work and for knowing how to make it a better book.

Last, but never least, my sister, Ellen Frankel, who inspires me always. I am incredibly lucky to have a sister who shares the same interests as well as a passion for writing. Her humor and compassion sustain me, and her hunger for making her voice heard makes this world a better place.

Judith Matz

Writing with my co-author and sister has been a gift. As we worked on this book, I watched Judith face health challenges with the dignity, grace, and wisdom of a woman living a life of attunement. Thank you, Judith, for offering me a lesson for living.

I also want to thank my husband, Steve, and our children, Allison and Matt, for once again respecting my writing time, being curious about my work, and offering support, encouragement, and love. As always, thanks to my brother, Robert Matz, for his continued support, and to my parents, Lorraine and Joe Matz, for believing in all of us.

Ellen Frankel

Together, we want to thank Jane Hirschmann, Carol Munter, Susie Orbach, and Geneen Roth, pioneers in the non-diet movement who have greatly influenced our work. Thank you to the members of Show Me The Data, whose knowledge and support are invaluable. We are grateful to the staff at Sourcebooks for their expertise, especially Deb Werksman, Stephanie Frerich, Libby Topel, Tony Viardo, Jill Amack, Anne LoCascio, Stephanie Wheatley, and Michelle Schoob.

part

chapter

I have not failed.

Ive just found 10,000 ways that wont work.

Thomas Edison

How many books have you opened searching for the ultimate solution for weight loss? How many times have you promised yourself that a new diet would be the diet, the one-that-would-really-work diet, the one-that-would-change-your-life diet? How many times were your hopes lifted as the pounds dropped, only to be dashed as the weight ultimately returned? The allure of dieting is everywhere, along with the promise that once you become thinner through dieting, everythingabsolutely everythingwill change for the better. So you spend a good portion of your days, weeks, months, and years waiting to lose weight so that your life can truly begin. As a diet survivor, the life you have always wanted to live can begin today.

In 2000, the number of Americans dieting to lose weight totaled nearly 116 million people, representing 55 percent of the adult population. Yet approximately 95 to 98 percent of all dieters who lose weight will ultimately regain the lost pounds, often leading to higher than pre-diet weights. The diet industry, which takes in approximately $50 billion a year, has a failure rate unthinkable in any other consumer area. Can you imagine a doctor prescribing a medication that offered a 2 percent chance of curing you? And when your illness persisted, would you blame yourself? But because of the popular belief that dieting will make you thin, people try one weight loss method after another. In the process, they become yo-yo dieters caught in a vicious cycle, blaming themselves for their diet failures.

For most, the thought of giving up dieting is equivalent with the notion of giving up on themselves. It means forgoing thinness and the promises of health, happiness, and success equated with this cultural ideal. However, dieting is inherently dangerous. Diets leave a trail of devastating physical and emotional consequences in their wake. Anyone who can stop this cycle is a diet survivor!

The fact that you are reading these pages speaks to the part of you that has been wondering, considering, and assessing the merit of dietsthe part of you that is sick and tired of riding the diet roller coaster and measuring your life by the number on a scale. If you have been on more than one diet, lost and regained the weight, and are becoming aware that the failure is not your fault, you are a diet survivor.