Juli Slattery - Beyond the Masquerade: Unveiling the Authentic You

To live authentic, honest lives takes immense courage and humility. Juli opens our hearts to this kind of scandalous living, being willing to look honestly at our pain, our profound brokenness, and our need for Gods amazing grace and mercywhich is, as she so beautifully portrays, the only kind of living that matters.

Tammy Maltby
Author of Confessions of a Good Christian Girl
and Lifegiving
Cohost of the Emmy-nominated television
show Aspiring Women

In Beyond the Masquerade Dr. Julianna Slattery will skillfully and gently guide you into unveiling the authentic you. Shell help you understand why your self-worth, self-concept, and self-confidence can only be real if they are rooted and grounded in a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. You will learn why positive thinking by itself just isnt enough.

If you are tired of wearing a mask, tired of trying to change, and if you are ready to actually do it, keep reading. You will be amazed at the changes and the freedom you will gain through Jesus Christ alone!

Dr. Bob Barnes

President, Sheridan House Family Ministries

There is nothing more frightening yet freeing than unmasking. Yet women continue to live in loneliness because the fear overshadows the freedom. Julianna Slattery hits the nail on the head when she talks about the brokenness required for the journey to wholeness. Our Midday Connection mailbox is stuffed with letters from women who want true community but dont know how to get there. Want a real roadmap? Read Beyond the Masquerade. Better yet, read it together with a small group of women. Youll never be the same.

Anita Lustrea

Host and executive producer, Midday Connection

Many voices in todays culture claim that low self-esteem is at the root of every emotional and relational struggle we face. But Juli Slattery argues that we must completely rethink our definition of self-esteem, focusing instead on the true Source of value and purpose in life. Juli brings great wisdom, insight, and biblical understanding to this often-misunderstood topic. She also writes as a trusted friend, sharing openly and honestly from the secret places of her own heart.

If you long to be known, loved, and accepted for who you truly are, you will find freedom and hope in the pages of this book!

Dr. Bill Maier

Vice-president and Psychologist in Residence

Focus on the Family

BEYOND THE MASQUERADE

Beyond the Masquerade
Copyright 2007 by Julianna Slattery, Psy.D.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

A Focus on the Family book published by
Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188

Focus on the Family and the accompanying logo and design are federally registered trademarks of Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995.

TYNDALE and Tyndales quill logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (HCSB) are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible copyright 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message (paraphrase). Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible. Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org). Scripture quotations marked (NIrV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Readers Version. Copyright 1996, 1998 by International Bible Society. All rights reserved throughout the world. Used by permission of International Bible Society. Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

The case examples presented in this book are fictional composites based on the authors clinical experience with hundreds of clients throughout the years. Any resemblance between these fictional characters and actual persons is coincidental.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwisewithout prior written permission of Focus on the Family.

Editor: Kathy Davis

Cover design by: Jennifer Ghionzoli

Cover photograph of mask by Joy Fera/iStockphoto. All rights reserved.

Cover photograph of woman by Creatas Images/Alamy. All rights reserved.

Author photograph by Jim Maguire

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Slattery, Julianna, 1969

Beyond the masquerade : unveiling the authentic you / Julianna Slattery.

p. cm.

ISBN-13: 978-1-58997-377-0

ISBN-10: 1-58997-377-1

1. Self-esteemReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. IntegrityReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.

BV4598.24.S53 2007

248.4dc22

2007003028

Printed in the United States of America

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 / 13 12 11 10 09 08 07

To my dad Your love is a living example of our Fathers love!

It was such a joy to work with Focus on the Family and Tyndale House on this project. Thank you Kathy Davis, Nanci McAlister, and Larry Weeden for the warm invitation and all the hard work you invested. Special thanks to Bill Maier and Jim Levy for introducing me to the Focus family.

Over the past year, many friends and colleagues have read some or all of this manuscript and provided invaluable input. Thanks to Cheryl and Warren Kniskern, Kari Buddenburg, Susan Bebee, Rebecca Stephonic, Pam Rybka, Stephanie Hall, Stephanie Massa, Sue Burnham, Claudia Bosshard, Susan Bissonette, and Anne Stancil for your time, feedback, and prayers. Typing into a keyboard in the middle of the night can get lonely. Your companionship was precious.

Thanks to Vicky Popp and Amanda Helin for keeping me organized. You both know how much I needed your help!

Special thanks to Kim Bush and Susie Sartarelli for your prayers and encouragement when I doubted. Kim, your friendship is a safe place, a rare blessing. Susie, much of this book was born out of our conversations. Thank you for always speaking truth in love.

Among my dearest friends are my five siblings: Larry, Cheryl, Michael, Amy, and Angela. The unspoken bond among us is a comfort and a blessing that our parents began and that the Lord has solidified. I treasure each of you.

Mom and Dad, when I think of all youve given to me, I cant even begin to say thank you. Throughout my lifetime, youve planted and watered the seeds of authenticity in my life and provided shelter and sunshine in due season. Those seeds have grown into the fruit of this labor. I trust and pray that your investment will reap a harvest for eternity.

Finally, my best friend, Mike. Oh, what joy to have been blessed with a husband who loves me when my makeup is off, my hair is sticking up, and my faults are exposed! I marvel at the love you show me. Im so thankful for the ways God has drawn us closer through all He is teaching us! My bags are packed.